my world your world
by jess2002
Summary: the cullens are amish. bella is a regular teenager. a school project brings them together but religion keeps them apart. what happens when edward goes on rumspringa? rated m for later. please read and review! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for reading this is my third fan fiction and I hope you enjoy it. I own nothing. Thanks to my beta chubbypoo!**

God, I am so nervous; I feel like I'm going to be sick. Please don't let them be mean. As I walked up to their doorstep I couldn't hear a thing. Maybe they weren't home? Ok, I can do this; I am Bella Swan, Chief Swan's daughter. I really hope they don't think I am crazy. I knocked on the door and held my breath. Why? I have no idea.

"May I help you?" a woman, I assumed was in her forties, asked me as she answered the door.  
"Hi," I said like an idiot. "Um, my name is Bella Swan… My father is Charlie Swan?" I said taking a breath. Why did my statement come out as a question? All she did was nod in understanding. "I am doing a school project, and I find your way of life very interesting, and I was wondering if it was at all possible if I could talk with you and your family?" I said smiling at her.  
"Can you give me a moment?" she said and I nodded. "Have a seat and I will be back in a few minutes," she said pointing to the stairs of the porch. I sat down, nervous as hell. A minute seemed like an hour.

As I sat on the porch and waited I saw three Amish boys walk towards the house; they looked to be my age. They stopped and chatted for a few seconds and looked my way a few times, which made me even more nervous. Only one of the boys walked up the drive and I couldn't help but stare at him. He was really cute. I didn't know that Amish boys could be so cute. I mean, I know that was stereotyping, but hey, I'm only fifteen. Most of my concerns and daily thoughts revolved around cute boys and what I was going to do next week on spring break.

"May I help you?" he asked, walking up to me.  
"Um… no, I already talked to someone. They told me to sit and they would be back," I said smiling at him and he smiled back.  
"Was it my mother or my sisters?" he asked. He wasn't rude but he was kind of short with what he said.  
"Mother, I would assume," I said to him. He just stared at me, sending my nerves into overdrive, so I kept talking. "I'm doing a project at school about the Amish and this, I mean yours, is the only Amish family I know of within walking distance. So I asked your mother if I would be able to talk to all of you. I'm Bella by the way." I told him sticking my hand out.  
"My name is Edward," he said as she shook my hand. "What is it that you hope to learn?" he asked, leaving me stumped for a response.  
"I'm not really sure? I would just like to understand it all better," I said as he shook his head. "Is your father mean?"  
He chuckled. "No I wouldn't say that. Strict maybe?" he said as if it were a question.  
"Do you like this lifestyle?"  
"I know no different."  
Yeah, well that made sense. "Are you going to do Rumspringa?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders. "Well if you do, I could show you around if you would like?" I said to him as he smiled at me.  
"You mean it?"  
"Sure, scout's honor," I said as we both laughed.  
"What does that mean?" he asked.  
Wow this was so cool. I don't know why I thought that, but it just was. "It just means that I truly promise to show you around," I said as his smile grew bigger. "What is something you look forward to doing?" I prodded, hoping to keep the conversation going.  
"Well I am really interested in music, and I really want to drive a car," he said as I silently grew thankful for the conveniences I usually never gave a second thought to, like my I pod and my dad's cruiser.  
"I can teach you how to drive. Well, when I learn," I said as I nervously dug the toe of my shoe into the step. "Um, when did you think you were going to "run around" and try all this stuff?" I asked, inwardly hoping it was soon and, of-course, involving me.  
"Next summer. At the end of June I'll turn seventeen, so maybe we can spend the summer together?" he asked as my smile grew.  
"Most definitely. You're pretty cool for an Amish kid."  
"And you're pretty cool for someone in the secular community," he said as we both laughed.  
"Edward, you have chores," I heard a booming voice that made me jump.  
"Talk to you soon," he said loud enough so that only my ears could hear. That made me smile.  
"My wife said you are doing a project on our beliefs?" I distractedly looked in the direction from which the booming voice had come.  
"Yes sir. I, uh, just have a few questions to ask you, if you don't mind? Just so I can understand the culture better." I said as the nerves came rushing back.  
"I understand. You may go home. I will be in touch with your father and he will inform you of my decision," he said.  
"Thanks for taking the time to see me." I said politely as I turned on my heels and walked shyly away from the strange, secretive house. It wasn't a far walk, but far enough so I could think, and my thoughts were full of Edward. He was God sent. He must be, I would never find a boy like that in my school. I really couldn't even call him a boy, even though at first I thought he had boyish good looks, now that I had talked with him he was more like a man than anything.

When I got home I Googled all the information that I could find on the Amish and Amish culture. While at first I frantically skimmed over every word hoping to learn more about Edward's family and their beliefs, before long I had to admit that deep within me I was feeling a little sad. I know it was silly, but knowing I could never seriously have a future with my first major crush immediately quelled the excitement that had been building inside me all afternoon since I had met Edward. I would never want him to be shunned by his family and community and I would never become Amish and leave my family, so it seemed pointless to nurture a dream and a crush that obviously had no possible future.

Well, maybe we will still have next summer to get to know each other. Though that was clearly not going to come fast enough. But my heart regained some of it's momentum at the thought.  
"Bella?" I heard my dad yell. I had lost all track of time. I ran down the stairs, meeting him at the bottom. "Do you want to order pizza tonight?" he asked, a little confused.  
"That or I could make breakfast for dinner?" I asked but he just shook his head and ordered the pizza.  
"So what has you so preoccupied?" he asked as he hung up the phone.  
"Well, I am doing a project on the Amish. So I went and talked to that Amish family down the road and asked if I could interview them," I said with a quiet smile. "And then I came home and surfed the net about it….it's actually really interesting." I said excitedly.  
"Well Carlisle, Mr. Cullen to you, came and saw me this afternoon," he said, but he didn't elaborate. I think he was trying to kill me. "When is your paper due?" he asked.  
"I don't know, after spring break sometime. Why?" I asked confused.  
"We, Carlisle and I, agreed that if you really were curious about the culture that the only way to really understand it would be to experience it first-hand, you-know, lived the lifestyle." Charlie cleared his throat and snuck a glance at me to gage my reaction to his words. "So we agreed, I mean, we kinda thought, that you could go live with them over spring break," he said.  
At first I drew a blank, in a scary-stunned kind of way, but then as it sunk in I was…… happy. I could see Edward for a whole week. I felt a smile grow on my face as this new reality settled in.  
"That would be kinda cool," I said as Charlie looked at me skeptically. "What?" I asked.  
"Bella, that means that you will be Amish for five days. Dress like them, act like them, follow their rules, do what they do," he said. I really didn't like the sound of that.  
"What the hell," I said with a shrug, "how many people get a chance to do that?" I said as he shook his head and laughed.  
"Well for starters, that means no swearing…. at all. And do not take the Lord's name in vain Bella."  
"God Dad, you have no faith in me," I said as he raised his eyebrow at me. "What?" I asked, bewildered at his expression.  
"You just took the Lord's name in vain," he said as I blushed.  
"Well, I guess that I will have to think before I talk," I said. We both laughed at that.  
"So, Friday after school you will come home, take a shower, get yourself ready, and then you'll go to the Cullen's. Carlisle said something about their son coming to get you."  
I stared at Charlie, trying to keep my face passive as I was silently screaming with excitement in my head. I hope that he meant Edward; I wanted to use this experience to spend every second I could with him while I had the chance.  
"Dad what is the big deal about a shower?" I asked not understanding his sudden interest in the specifics of my daily hygiene routine.  
"Bella, you may not get a shower while you are there. Remember, you will be living like they do for the week and they don't rely on many of the same conveniences we do, but we can try and get you some travel supplies."  
"Really, they don't shower?" I asked a little disgusted.  
"Baby, I haven't seen the specifics of their home, but it is a luxury that you should be thankful for," he said and I nodded in agreement. "I'm sure they shower, just not as often as you." That was true, I did shower a lot.

Well, they say you don't know someone until you walk in their shoes……

EPOV  
My father was gone for most of the afternoon. I didn't have any idea where he'd gone, but he returned just before dinner. I could barely do my chores after I talked with Bella. I wished it was time for my Rumspringa right then and there. I had never really thought about it before, but now I couldn't wait. I wondered over and over if Bella would let me kiss her or hold her hand. I know I would never let it go any farther, but if I could just kiss her, I would die happy.

We had a smaller family than most Amish families. There was my older brother Emmet, who was married and already on his third child, then there was me, who was fifteen, and my sister Alice, who was thirteen and already knew who she was going to marry. She would marry Jasper, it could probably be as soon as the November after she turned sixteen.  
I thought of all the things that Bella and I could do next summer. We could sleep in, spend all day together, watch movies; I always wanted to watch a movie. And music! I love when someone would go by with it blaring from their car.  
My mother called me in for super so I washed my hands off in a barrel of water that was by the barn.

"I have some news to share with all of you," my father told us as he cleared his throat. "On Friday Isabella Swan, the Chief's daughter, will be staying with us for the week. Alice, Esme and I expect you to set up the office for her and show her how things work around here. The only thing that I will not ask her to do is wear our clothing. Without holding our religious ideals she would not truly embrace their purpose. I don't want to be disrespectful to the community. Edward, you will pick her up on Friday after she is out of school. You should have all your chores completed by then," he said as I nodded. But on the inside, I was smiling ear to ear.  
"Father, why are you letting her stay here?" Alice asked.  
"She is young and is very interested in us. If we want others to know the glory of God we must first light a match before we can light a fire. That is why," he said.

I really didn't care why. I was just happy that I was going to be able to see her, and for an entire week. The next few days were going to be long. I couldn't wait to see her. I know from now until then I wouldn't be able to sleep. Ugh, Friday needs to get here soon.

**Rumspringa is German for run around. It is an Amish teenager's right of passage to go out into the outside world and have that experience.**

**Please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

Here is another chapter! They wont all go up this fast but enjoy it while you can!!! Thanks for the reviews! Thanks to my beta chubbypoo!!!!

I own nothing!

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BPOV, Friday

School was so slow, but I was so excited.

All my friends thought I was crazy to want to go there but I really didn't care what they thought.

I thought of Edward constantly; there was something about him that I liked so much. I just hoped we'd get to have some time together.

And this is how my week had gone: a constant stream of thoughts revolving around Edward and my upcoming time at the Cullen's' distracting me from everything else in my life. Play, sigh, and repeat.

When the bell rang I practically ran out of the school and quickly walked home. I went past the Cullen's' and saw a girl on the porch and Edward getting a horse out of the barn. I wondered if he was getting ready to pick me up.

When I got home I ran upstairs, hopped in the shower, and got dressed. Just as I was finishing brushing my hair I heard a knock at the door. I almost fell down the stairs as I ran to the door.

"Hey! You didn't have to come and get me," I said with a smile.

"It's not a problem. Are you ready?" Edward asked, smiling at me.

"Almost. Would you like to come in?"

"No, that's okay. I'll wait outside. Just come out when you are ready," he said as he started to walk away from the door.

"Edward? Um…...what should I pack?" I asked, a little embarrassed.

"Clothes?" he said sounding very unsure of himself. "I don't know whatever you would talk on a trip I guess."

"Do I have to wear your clothing?"

"My father said "no.""

I nodded as I mulled over this newest piece of information. "You can come in if you'd like. I may be a little bit; I want to check the weather on the computer," I said as he hesitated. He looked like he was battling with what he wanted to do. He looked behind him and then came through the door. "Cool. Come on, I'll show you my room," I told him as I instinctively took him by the hand. Once I realized what I did I thought he would have pulled away, but he didn't. Instead he intertwined our fingers. That made me smile.

He walked in and looked around. He looked at the pictures of my friends from school and my childhood. Then he picked up my seventeen magazine and flipped through that.

"You said you liked music right?" I asked him as I pulled clothes out of my dresser. All he did was nod. He looked very nervous. I turned on the stereo and turned it to the rock station. I had to giggle when I heard Papa Roche's Hollywood Whore was on.

"What kind of music is that?" he asked smiling at me.

"Um, modern rock I guess," I told him as I started to softly sing along.

"Your father doesn't care if you listen to this?" he asked incredulously.

"No, he just doesn't like rap," I told him as I put the last of my stuff in my bag.

"Is rap where the say the words really fast?" he asked.

I couldn't help but giggle at his response. "Yeah, here," I said as I changed it and Flo rider was on. "I like this song," I said as I started to sing Right Round. He listened but didn't say anything at first. I saw confusion on his face when they sang, 'you spin my head right, right round, when you go down.'

"What does that mean?" he asked. I didn't mean to giggle but he looked so confused, so cute. That, and well, I really didn't know how to tell him.

"It means....... when you go down on someone sexually," I told him as I loaded up the computer, trying to sound casual while at the same time avoiding eye contact.

"I'm sorry, but…. I don't get it." He sounded embarrassed but inquisitive at the same time.

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind sharing things, well I mean, explaining things like this with you," I told him as I glanced toward the chair next to me in a subtle hint to sit with me. I didn't think he would sit, but the next thing I knew he had quietly moved to the chair at my side.

"Um, do you know what… oral sex is?" I asked him. He blushed and then shyly nodded his head. "Well, that is what it means to….. 'go down' on someone. That's what the song is, you-know, referring to," I told him and he nodded again in understanding.

"You are very open about talking about sex?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"Yeah. I mean….. it's no secret. They teach it at school and just about every public bathroom stall."

"School?" he asked shocked.

"Well, yeah. They just give you the fundamentals of it. That, and they gave us all condoms to make sure we are having safe sex. Ya know most kids our age have already had sex," I told him, again avoiding looking directly at him.

"Have you? I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. I should have never asked," he said in full blush. "I just feel……. comfortable around you, and I don't usually feel this way with secular girls," he told me.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I feel comfortable with you too," I said as I quickly swallowed. "And no, I have not had sex yet," I told him. He still looked embarrassed. "You can ask me anything you want," I told him and he nodded.

"This is the internet?" Edward asked as I looked away again, this time my gaze zeroing in on the computer and what the weather was going to be for the week.

"Yup and I'm all done," I told him as I picked up my bag.

"I'll carry that for you," he said as he took it off my shoulder and we walked out of the house. "If anyone asks, please say that I stayed in the door way. Are you okay with that?" he asked, as insecurity rushed into his eyes. I nodded my head yes and he smiled at me.

We got in the buggy and started off towards his house. As we approached I could see his mother and sister were on the porch reading. Edward stopped at the porch and let me out. My nerves started as soon as he pulled away from me.

"Hello Bella," Mrs. Cullen said to me.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen. Thank you so much for letting me do this," I said as she kindly smiled at me.

"Oh, it is not a problem dear. Come, I will show you where to put your things," she said as we walked up the porch towards the door.

"Hi. I'm Alice," the petite girl I had yet to meet said to me, sticking her hand out for me to shake.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Bella."

"I know. You are the first non amish person that I have ever spoken to," she said under her breath, though clearly loud enough for me to hear, as her face broke out into a huge smile.

"Cool," I said and her smile got bigger. I liked Alice, there was something about her that I was instantly drawn to. I followed the two women into the house where they showed me to my room. It looked like an office of some sort. I sat my bag on the mattress and then followed them back downstairs. Dinner was almost done cooking so I helped Alice set the table. They were so quite. I don't think they talked much, that made me nervous because I was use to noise, at least something in the background.

"Mrs. Cullen? May I ask you a question?" I said, not sure if I should be speaking and breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"Did you do Rumspringa?" I asked her.

"No, I knew I was going to marry Carlisle, so I really did not find the need to do so."

"So, you won't do Rumspringa?" I asked Alice. She looked conflicted.

"I may," she responded hesitantly. "I am really interested in going to the mall. I think going shopping would be fun," she said with a big smile.

"I could go with you, if you decided to go," I told her as her smile grew again.

"Mother, is that possible?" she asked.

"Yes Alice, you know that it is your right of passage," she said.

"How do you feel about your kids doing Rumspringa?" I asked Mrs. Cullen.

"Well, it really hasn't happened to me before. My eldest son didn't do his, and I know Alice will come back, but Edward I worry about. I don't want to have everyone shun him. He's my son. I want him to be embraced by our community and pass our traditions down to his kin. At the same time I cannot deny him, in my heart or actions, the chance to see the world."

I had read about shunning on the internet, but you can't believe everything you read. Hearing Mrs. Cullen talk about it with such temerity gave the concept new weight.

"What does that involve?" I think I already knew the answer to my own question, but I suddenly had a need to hear her explain it out-loud.

"Say Edward goes with you during Rumspringa and wants to stay; we would never talk or look at him again."

"That's……horrible," I said quietly.

"That's the truth," she said pointedly. Wow, I couldn't imagine.

"What if… what if someone became Amish, say me for instance, would I be able to see people I knew from the outside world, like my father?" I asked.

She didn't answer right away as she paused thoughtfully. "No, you have to cut all ties to the outside world," she said as my mouth dropped.

"Wow, that is insane. I'm sorry, I don't mean any disrespect," I quickly corrected myself before biting my lip from saying more.

"None taken, Bella," she said with a honest smile on her face. "When my children go on Rumspringa, you will look after them?"

I felt honored in a way, especially knowing how worried it made her. "That I can do for you, Mrs. Cullen. And, I will make sure they come back to you. Family is the most important thing in someone's life," I told her and I saw tears in her eyes.

"You don't know how much that means to me.," she said as she placed the last of the food on the table. She told Alice to go get Mr. Cullen and Edward. It wasn't long before we were all at the table. They all bowed their heads and then there was silence. I would have to ask about that later on. The silence continued to hand heavy in the air as we began the meal. The food was good, chicken, potatoes, corn, and homemade bread.

"Children, your mother and I are going to an auction this evening. We will be back by eight. You may introduce Bella to your friends, just be home by eight."

"Yes Father," they said in unison. After dinner Mr. Cullen and Edward left the table as the three of us cleaned the kitchen. Before long the parents were gone.

"So what do you guys do for fun?" I asked as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen pulled away.

"We can go see who is down at the school yard?" Alice said.

"She just wants to see Jasper," Edward said teasingly only to be rewarded by a swift punch in the arm by Alice. That made me laugh. "The school yard is where we all play," he said. I found it amusing that he would say "play."

"So do you just play, or do you hang out?" I asked. They looked at me like I spoke a different language. "Ya know, just sit around and talk?" That seemed to make sense to them.

"Yes, or we will play tag or baseball. We all love baseball," Edward said.

We headed out and were walking down a dirt road that I had passed for years but had never ventured down. "I always wondered what was down this dirt road." I said as we walked. Edward and I were hand in hand. Alice just giggled at us. "Is this okay? You and I holding hands?" I asked unsure, not knowing.

"Yes. No one will say anything. We all have our secrets, Bella." Alice told me as Edward chuckled.

When we got to the schoolyard I was shocked at the number of kids congregated there. Everyone was playing together without any fighting or bickering. I thought that was nice. As we approached, a boy walked over to Alice and hugged her. I assumed that this must be the infamous Jasper.

"Jasper, this is Bella. Bella, this is Jasper," Alice said as they held hands.

"Nice to meet you. My father said that you were hosting someone from the outside at your house," he said as I smiled at him. The kids all sat together on the ground. The girls sat with their legs tucked under them and the boy sat the same. I sat pretzel style.

"So Bella, what do you think so far?" Jasper asked me.

"Well……. it is very different." I was so new to this world, it was about all I could say.

"Do you like music?" another girl asked me.

"Yeah, it is one of the main things that I do in with my free time," I told her.

"Do you have any with you?" she asked. I looked at Edward, not knowing what the appropriate response would be.

"You do, don't you?" Alice said, all happy. I nodded my head "yes." When I saw how excited everyone became, I reached in my bra and pulled out my cell phone. "Why do you have it in your shirt?" Alice asked.

"Because I knew that you guys don't use technology and I can't live without my cell," I said as they nodded, but one girl asked why. "I don't know. It's how I keep in contact with my friends, and I can get on the internet with my phone," I told them as they all looked on with curiosity. When I turned my phone on it started to vibrate with voice mails and texts.

"Is it broken?" Edward asked.

"No. That tells me that I have voicemails and texts," I tried to explain.

"Can we hear the voice mails?" one of the other boys asked. I got scared because I knew that there would be cussing on it and other thing that I am sure these kids would find to be scandalous. "You don't have to," the kids said, sounding embarrassed.

"No I will, it's just that they may not be nice. I mean, there could be cussing and stuff." They all acted liked they didn't care. So I shrugged my shoulders and played them on speaker phone.

The first one was from Mike Newton. "Bella, what the hell? Why aren't you answering the phone? You really aren't chillin' in Amish country are you? Jesus-fucking-Christ, you are weird. Well, if you get bored with their bitch-asses, we will be at the creek; I have a beer with your name on it. Anyways, call me when you can." Every one was silent.

No one said anything as I played the next one from Jessica. "What the fuck, Whore! Your phone is never off. Party at the creek." They were still quite.

And then the next one was from Tanya. "Bella, what the fuck. Everyone is telling me you are with the Amish. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just letting you know that that little whore Jessica is all over Mikes cock. Later, Whore." I was a little pissed at that message.

The last one was from Mike. "Hey Isabella. Errgh, Jessica is hitting on me. Where the fuck are you?" He sounded annoyed.

"Does that boy court you?" Alice asked. I laughed at her terminology.

"No, we just hang out." I said as she nodded.

"Let's go to the creek." One of the boys said. A few others were ready. Edward acted like he wanted to go too.

"No, I don't want you guys to get in trouble."

"We won't Bella. We hear you all the time down there. Just for a minute?" Alice pleaded.

"You really want to go?" I asked. Now everyone was nodding with their puppy of eyes full of innocent curiosity. Shit. "How do we get there from here?" I asked Edward tentatively. He took my hand and led the way. I could hear the music bumping before we even cleared the trees. I knew that they had just stated partying, so they shouldn't be too wasted yet. As we made it into the clearing Mike spotted me and ran towards us.

"BELLA!" he yelled as he approached. "Bella, I missed you. What is this? Your new entourage?" he asked pointing to the Amish kids with sarcasm and distaste.

"Shut up," I said as I hit him in the chest. "They hear us partying all the time down here. They wanted to check it out," I said to him.

"Cool, more the merrier," he said. I saw the look in his eyes, he was in a playful mood. I started to back away from him, but he was too quick. He grabbed me by the waist and picked me up, upside down, and my legs were over his shoulders.

"What the fuck!" I yelled as he ran down to the party. "Put me down you fucking psycho!" I yelled. I was sure I had inadvertently flashed all the Amish kids.

"Bella's here, yeah," Jessica said with absolutely no enthusiasm.

"Don't worry, Jess. I'm not staying long. You can have Mikes dick again very soon," I said to her as she rolled her eyes.

"Bella! That's an awful thing to say." Alice stage whispered to me.

"Don't let Bella fool you, she is the biggest bitch I know," Jessica said with a laugh. Alice blushed. We hung out for a while. I knew it was almost time to go. "Bella it's our song." Jessica said all happy and smiley. Oh now we were friends? I swear this girl is bipolar.

"Oooo, I love this song," I said to Edward as I stood up to go dance.

"We really should go," he said, he was starting to look a bit tense. I looked at my phone and we still had at least twenty minutes.

"Right after this song, please?" I asked him, playfully jutting my pouty lip out.

"Okay, but then we are leaving," he said in a final tone. I hugged him and went to dance. Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman was playing and my girls and I were dancing our asses off. I tried to wave Alice over but she wouldn't budge. After the song I said my goodbyes. Mike was the only sad one I think.

"So what'd ya think?" I asked as we made our way back into the schoolyard.

"I can't wait until I'm sixteen," Alice said wistfully and others agreed with her.

"Next summer can't come fast enough," Edward whispered to me with a smile.

I was glad they enjoyed themselves. I was stunned how smoothly the meeting of these two worlds had gone; maybe we could do this again.

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Please review and let me now what u think!


	3. Chapter 3

IMPORTANT A/N I will not be posting the story **what changed **because i am hoping to get it published. I will let every one know what is happining with that as I go along. I am very excited about this. so for now i will be just posting this story......thanks for all the reviews i love the reviews...... sorry for the delay my beta lost a family member..... my thought are with her...... also this chapter jumps from pov to pov this will not happen every chapter

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epov, Friday

I woke up early and got right to work on my chores. I couldn't wait to see Bella and bring her to the house for her stay. Actually, to say that I was excited would be an understatement.

I was done with my chores by one o'clock and my day was dragging. When Alice finally arrived home from school I figured that I would talk to her for a little while, she was a proverbial chatterbox and I knew that she would distract me from the wait for a while.

"Hello, Alice. How was your day?" I knew this would open up the flood gates and she would provide me the play-by-play of her day. So I was a little disappointed when all she did was shrug her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but she still said nothing.

After a long pause she finally began dejectedly, "I don't really know, I am just a little nervous about Bella coming. I've never spoken to an outsider before." I understood that.

"Do you think that she will tell us about her life?" Alice inquired.

"Yes. We will be telling her about us, I don't see why she wouldn't share information about her life as well, " I told her.

I could tell she really wasn't up for talking, so I headed back out to the barn to get the horse and buggy ready. After a while I saw Bella walking home. I wanted to give her a little bit to get her stuff together so I brushed down the horse for the second time. I ventured off after that.

As I knocked on the door I grew nervous. I knew that it was acceptable to befriend an outsider, my father had approved of the whole situation, but I didn't know what to do if she was to invite me in. Even as I stood there silently deliberating over the possibilities, I couldn't help but smile as she opened the door.

We said our hellos and just as I was worried about, she invited me in. I declined at first. She asked what she should pack and I really didn't know what to tell her. Finally I suggested that she pack as if going on a trip; that seemed to relax her and make sense. After that I accepted her invitation to come inside but had to chuckle to myself when she took my hand. She looked at me for approval so I interlocked our fingers. Her hand fit so perfect into my hand.

When we got up to her room I couldn't help but to look around. She had pictures all over her walls, I assumed that they were of friends and family. I was hoping that Bella and I could take pictures during my run around time but I was still unsure how I felt about photography and my family's view of it. Was it really a sin, something I was willing to risk my soul over?

I began looking at a magazine when she remembered that I liked music. The words in the song blew me away. This is what music was? She said the only thing she didn't listen to was rap. As soon as she turned it on I knew what it was, I had heard it many times in passing.

Somehow the conversation turned and we started talking about sexual things. I would have thought that I would be uncomfortable, but I felt comfortable with her, and my embarrassment was surely overridden by my curiosity. I wasn't too sure what oral sex was, but I had a good idea of what it meant. The only thing that we were taught was that intercourse was for reproductive purposes only. Knowing that kids my age were doing it just for fun made me shiver.

I was stunned when I asked her if she had had sex yet; it seems as if the words were out of my mouth before I had any power to stop them. I knew it was improper to ask and none of my business, but I was happy to find out that she hadn't. I had no idea what a condom was, but I was too embarrassed to ask her, besides, I didn't want her to think that I was stupid. As we were leaving I asked her to not say anything about me being in her room. I felt bad asking her to be dishonest, she didn't act as if my presence in her room was against the rules. But just like the conversation we had just had, something about it seemed intimate, something I was sure that my parents would not approve of.

My mother and sister were waiting on the porch to greet Bella as we approached my house. I let her out by the porch and I went to take care of the buggy and horse. I was closing the gate to the horse stall my father came in.

"Was she not ready when you got there?" he asked.

"No," I paused not sure what information to include or edit form our conversation. "She didn't know what to pack," I finally told him. "Alice is nervous about her being here." I added, not knowing if he knew of her unease, but of-course he did.

"Yes, I know. Don't you remember how nervous you were to speak to the English for the first time?" he asked with a slight chuckled. "You stuttered and could barely get a sentence out," he told me with a laugh.

"I don't remember that," I told him as I chuckled along with him.

Before we could leave the barn Alice skipped her way over to us. "I really like Bella!" she gushed with a huge smile on her face. "Oh, and it is time for dinner," she added as an after thought as she skipped back out of the barn. I couldn't help but to laugh at her.

As we all sat at the table we bowed our heads as my father led us in prayer. I silently thanked God for sending Bella to us. We began to eat accompanied by the musical clang of the utensils. My father would occasionally interrupt the silence telling us that he and mom would be going to the upcoming auction and that we could introduce Bella to our friends. Internally I was a bit remorseful because I really didn't want to share her yet. I tried to sneak a peak at her as my father spoke, wondering what she was thinking, how she felt about our nightly routines that I was so accustomed to. She looked a little confused.

It wasn't long after dinner that my parents left and Bella asked what we did for fun. I told her that we go to the schoolyard and play, she seemed amused by that statement. But we assured her that we hang out more than "play." She did laugh when I was teasing Alice about wanting to see Jasper. Yes, even Amish kids have rivalry and teasing with their siblings.

When we got to the schoolyard everyone was very welcoming. The conversation turned to music and Sarah asked Bella if she had any music with her. Bella gave me a quick look, I was pretty sure she did. I couldn't pull my eyes away from her when she put her hand down her shirt and pulled out what look to be a cellular phone. Some of the girls giggled at her while most of the boys politely looked away.

We never did get to the music as the crowd became fascinated and distracted by her voicemails. It blew my mind the way that her friends used profanity. I couldn't imagine such vulgarity coming from Bella. As more of my friends had their interests piqued, they were able to talk her into going to the creek. We have all watched and heard them party over the years, in-fact, last summer was one of the best days of my life when all of the girls took off their clothes and went swimming in their underwear. I wondered now if Bella was there that day.

I had happily learned that Bella didn't have a boyfriend. So once we decided to go to the creek I lead the way while holding Bella's hand. A blond boy spotted us as we came to the clearing through the trees and he yelled Bella's name as he approached us. He called us her entourage and I wasn't sure if his teasing was condescending or not. He seemed to accept us being there, but I knew that he wouldn't if Bella wasn't with us. She started to back away from him as they stared at each other. As I watched the scene playing out before me, I noticed that I was beginning to feel protective of her. I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist, but before I could he grabbed her and flipped her upside down, showing everyone the color of her bra. It was purple.

I would have to say that I was a little confused by Bella's reaction to the whole thing. But before I could get caught up in analyzing the whole thing an enthusiastic young girl approached us. I learned that her name was Jess and she was explaining to Bella that she was "hanging out" with Mike, who I assumed was the boy that greeted us. As I watched her talk with Bella it was easy to see that she seemed jealous of her interactions with Mike. I realized I had a lot to learn about Bella, and about life outside my community in general.

It didn't take long for the tension between Bella and Jess to dissipate and I grew very comfortable with the whole scene, which was a surprise to me. I watched everyone and everything while we sat there. I was next to Bella, Alice ,and Jasper, and the others were behind me. There were about ten additional kids that seemed to be friends with Bella, some were kissing each other, some were drinking, some were smoking, and some were just talking amongst themselves. It was a very relaxing atmosphere for the most part.

As I continued to observe I knew that is was about time for us to go. Just as I was about to say something to Bella, a song came on which spurred the cheers from an enthusiastic group of the girls. When Bella asked if we could leave after the song I couldn't say no, and I was glad that I didn't. Watching Bella dance was so….. hot, the way she moved… excited me. She looked so carefree. I hoped that she would dance for me again; was that even a normal thing to want?

Finally, she bid her friends goodbye and we walked back to the schoolyard. We all agreed that Rumspringa was too far off.

We arrived home just before my parents and we were all in bed shortly after. As I laid there awake, all I could think about Bella. I got out of bed to see if she needed anything. As I approached her room I could hear that she was moving around. When I reached the doorway she let out a startled gasp.

"Edward you scared me," she said, holding her hand to her chest.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering if you needed anything?" I asked, obviously nervous.

"No, I'm okay. It's just so quite," she said as I tried to give her a reassuring smile.

bpov  
It was quite, too quite. It was like being in a scary movie. I was waiting for something to pop out at me. When I had heard the floor creaking my heart raced in my chest in unnecessary fear.

"You'll get use to it. Tomorrow you won't even notice," Edward said, so sure of himself.

"How do you know?" I asked as I patted the bed for him to sit down.

"We will be up by four-thirty in the morning, that's when our day starts. That is why we go to bed so early," he explained to me. I didn't know what to say. I been up at four-thirty, but it was because I had stayed up that late not because I started the day that early.  
Wow.

cpov  
Bella seemed to be adjusting nicely. She seemed genuinely interested in our way of life. When we arrived home the kids were laughing and talking with her. They seemed so carefree. I knew that Edward had taken a liking to Bella and honestly, that worried me a bit. But I was willing to wait and just see how this all played out.

"Bella is a sweetheart," Esme told me as we settled into bed. "The children really like her," she observed and I agreed with her. She paused as her thoughts clearly swam through her head before beginning again, "I think that Edward will come back after his Rumspringa." She sounded confident, but I wasn't sure if the confidence was for my sake or her own. "Bella said that she would look after him and make sure that he would come back, she thinks that family is too important in one's life," she told me.

"She told you all of this?" I asked her in awe. She just nodded her head. We laid there in silence for a while before we heard Bella gasp as if she was scared. I heard her muffled voice speak Edward's name and then I heard him apologize to her. I started to get out of bed, knowing there was no real need for them to be interacting at this hour. After all, it was not right for a boy to be in a girl's bedroom.

"Carlisle, just let them be and if he doesn't go back to his room soon, then you can go down," she said looking at me with pleading eyes. I heard him tell her how early we had to get up and she grew very quite. I'm sure she has never had to get up so early to start a day.

"What was that pill that you took earlier?" I heard Edward ask.

"Oh," she said, "that was my birth control," she told him as I started to get up.

"This is an inappropriate conversation," I whispered to Esme, though she held tight to me.

"I trust Bella, just listen," she said.

"What does it do?" Edward asked. I was growing angry at this conversation.

"Well, when I decide to have sex it will help so I don't get pregnant, but I was put on it to regulate my body," I heard her say. Okay, she explained it better than I thought she would.

"I don't want to ask about it any further, do I?" he asked, and I heard her laughter. There was something clearly starting between them, I could feel it. I would talk to the Bishop; I needed to know, sooner versus later, if there was any way possible for Edward to not be shunned should he decide that he wanted to be with Bella.

bpov  
"I should let you get some sleep," he said as he sat there playing with my hand. There was a connection between the two of us that I couldn't explain. "Bella?" he whispered. "May I kiss you?" he asked in the same whisper.

"Why are you whispering?" I asked him in a whisper as well.

"I don't know if my parents can hear us," he confided as he moved closer to me. "May I?" he quietly questioned as he closed the distance between us.

"Yes." It was all I said as our lips touched. He tangled his fingers into my hair and cupped the side of my face with his other hand.

This was my first kiss and I was nervous. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I wrapped my hands around his neck as he deepened the kiss. As my mouth opened and I felt our tongues tangle together, my whole body broke out in goose bumps. He pulled away after a while and we sat forehead to forehead. "That was... wow," was all I could say. I never would of thought that my first kiss was going to be with someone who was Amish. But more than that, I was surprised and overwhelmed by the feelings it evoked within me.

"I agree. Was that your first kiss?" he asked me.

"Mmm-hmm, you?" I asked, thinking that he was going to say no, he was really good at it.

"Yes," he whispered. "I'm glad I was your first," he said as he kissed my lips again. "I really need to go to bed," he said as I kissed him once more, though I pulled away before it was deepened.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said, suddenly feeling a bit shy as the butterflies in my stomach got the better of me.

"Yes. Yes, you will," he said as he kissed me once more before leaving the room.

I wasn't able to go to sleep after that. My thoughts were of Edward and our kiss. I couldn't wrap my head around the feelings within me. I seemed to relive the moment endlessly, until sleep did eventually find me.


	4. Chapter 4

**thank u so much for the reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**i own nothing**

Bpov

"Bella, it's time to get up," I heard someone say. I groaned and rolled over. "Come on sleepy head, it is time to start the day."

It was Alice.

"Yeah, okay, I'm up," I told her sitting up with a lazy stretch.

"Just come in the kitchen when you are ready," she told me and left the room.

Man this sucks, I thought to myself as I yawned repeatedly. I slowly started getting ready for the day, just throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I did take the time to put deodorant on and some body spray, I didn't know if I was going to sweat and I really didn't want to stink. I had a bottle of mouthwash and then an empty bottle to spit into. I didn't know how all that worked here and I wanted to be prepared. I stood and put socks and shoes on and then put my hair in a messy bun. I grabbed my hoodie and headed out of my room, feeling that I was at least physically ready for my day.

"Ugh," I groaned as I ran into someone. "I'm sorry," I said as I looked to see it was Edward. "Hey, morning," I said to him as he placed his hands on my waist to steady me.

"I see you were able to get up," he said as I giggled. He looked over my shoulder and then behind his back before he leaned down and kissed me. Now that was a way to wake up. "You smell so good," he whispered.

"Thanks," I murmured as I turned and walked towards the kitchen.

"Good morning Bella," Mrs. Cullen greeted me with a warm smile.

"Yes, morning Mrs. Cullen. Is there anything that I can do to help?" I asked as I sat my hoodie on the chair that I sat at last night.

"Just set the table. Same as last night," she said as I turned and started the task.

"What are your mornings like in your home?" she asked me as we both worked.

"Well, I get up, jump in the shower, get ready for school, grab something quick for breakfast. And if it is the weekend I sleep until at least ten and then do…. whatever," I told her as I fetched the silverware. Breakfast was eggs and bacon. Two of my favorite things.

"Did you say you sleep until ten in the morning?" I heard Edward ask as he walked into the kitchen. "Good morning mother," he said hurriedly as he sat and turned to me for my answer.

"Yeah, but it depends on what I do the night before. Sometimes it is later." I told him, suddenly not sure why I was embarrassed by such an admission.

"But half of your day is wasted. Seven for me would be sleeping in," he said.

"Well….. You probably don't stay up as late. When you stay up until one, two, or even four in the morning, ten AM seems like the crack of dawn," I said with a small smile.

"Wow, I can not imagine that," he said as Mrs. Cullen put food on the table. Alice and Mr. Cullen came into the house as if everyone had an internal signal to know that it was time to sit down and eat. As they entered it looked as if they were caring milk in from outside. I didn't think I could stomach milk straight from its natural source.

"May I get a glass of water?" I asked Mrs. Cullen anxiously.

"Of course," she graciously replied as she got up and got me some.

"Oh, I could have done that," I told her as she turned around and set the cup in front of me. "Thank you," I said not wanting to be rude.

"You are very welcome," She said warmly as they sat and bowed their heads and once again said nothing. After a while everyone started to make a plate and eat.

"Are you saying a silent prayer before you eat? I mean, does everyone say the same thing or is a "do-your-own thing" kind of thing? " I asked, quickly taking a bite of the bacon in an effort to stop my verbal diarrhea.

"Yes. It is a prayer time, one of many," Mr. Cullen said. "Today, Bella, you will work with Alice and Esme and see how they take care of the house hold. Tomorrow we go to church, did you bring a skirt or dress?" he asked me.

"Um… no I don't even know if I own one," I said. Again I felt embarrassed about a fact of my life that I normally would not even question of give a second thought to.  
"Really?" Alice asked as I gave her a silent nod.

"I could run home sometime today and see. I'm sure I have something….. suitable?" I said not thinking about church.

"Yes you can do that. Edward will take you."

"Yes Father," Edward said. That seemed to be the final thought; the rest of breakfast was it was silent. It was silent a lot.

After we were all done Edward and his father went outside and we started to clean the house though we did talk throughout the morning. Mrs. Cullen told me that tomorrow we would get up at six and get ready for church. We would have breakfast at seven and at around seven forty five we would leave and go five miles to Esme's mother's house for church.

I learned through the easy chatter of the day that the Amish do not have a church. Each family hosts a church service in their homes at least once a year. Alice told me it was an all day thing. There would be three different services and a lot of praying and singing. There was no organ of course but I thought that is was so cool that they knew all of their hymns by heart. I don't even think I would know one by heart. Alice said most of the day is rather fun. The kids will go to the barn or they will go and play baseball. Baseball, I was learning, was a favorite Amish sport. I just hoped that I didn't have to play. I wasn't any good at sports.

By mid afternoon Edward came and got me and said that if we were going to my house that we need to go now to be back before dinner. I put my hoodie on because it was chilly outside. As he helped me into the buggy I couldn't help but notice the mischievous look on his face.

"What's got you all smiles?" I asked with a giggle.

"You," he said simply and sincerely.

"You know that……. we could never be something," I told him quietly, getting nervous. I didn't want to hurt him but I knew that no matter how I felt about him, that there were no good options allowing us to ever be together.

"You don't know that Bella," he said again with a final tone to his voice.

"Edward, I won't become Amish after this and I would never let you leave your family. Family is important," I said.  
"Let me be the judge of that," he said. I didn't like the way he was talking. I would never let it happen. The rest of the ride was in silence. When we arrived home Charlie was there.

"Do you want to come in?"

"No, your father is there. I will wait for you here," he said as he jumped down and sauntered over to help me.

"Hey Dad," I said as I walked in. "Oh, hi," I said in surprise to a woman that was cooking in the kitchen.

"Bells, what are you doing here? I didn't think I was going to see you at all," he said, seeming flustered.

"Um, yeah… I need a skirt or dress for tomorrow. Mr. Cullen said I shouldn't wear pants. Who is that?" I asked quietly as he pulled me into the living room.

"Her name is Leah. Please be nice," he said as we walked back to the kitchen. "Leah this is my daughter, Bella. Bells, this is Leah," he said as she stuck her hand out for me to shake. I did, I think the Amish was rubbing off on me.

"And what is she to you?" I asked my father suspiciously.

"Well, honey, I guess you would say she is my girlfriend." I'm sure he was nervous about my reaction, it wasn't often that I got to see the chief wound-up and flustered like this.

"Guess it's a good thing that I am going to be marrying an Amish boy," I said as I headed for the front door. "Hey Edward, ya know what? I will marry you and join your family," I said as he walked to the porch, Charlie stormed after me, fast on my heels.

"Isabella!" he bellowed.

"Ya know what dad? If you can replace me that easily, then I'm gone," I said sounding every bit like the spoiled brat that I was acting like.

"You are being ridiculous. Knock it off right now," he said. Edward just stood there, awe struck at the escalating dialogue. "I didn't replace you. If you keep up with this attitude I will send that boy back to his house to get your things and you will not go back," he said trying to threaten me.  
"Go ahead, and I will make your life a living hell." I said coldly, almost nose to nose with him.

"Bella, don't talk to your father like that," Edward scolded me. And for some reason that I didn't know, I listened. "Go get what you need. We need to be getting back," he said in his annoying, sexy final tone. "And apologize to your father."

"Ugh," I groaned, giving both my father and Edward deaths glares. My dad looked surprised that I would listen to him and Edward looked like he was waiting for me to apologize. "I'm sorry," I said, staring at the ground. My dad nodded his head, remorsefully and speechless, as Edward walked back to the buggy.

I went upstairs and I tore my closet apart. I found a black skirt that came to just above my knee and a pink dress that I was sure was to reveling. Well the black skirt it was. I also grabbed my only pair of heals. I left my room a complete mess; I would just deal with it later.

"I'm heading out. I have to go help with supper." I gave a pause before adding sincerely, "Sorry I was rude. And Leah, it was nice to meet you."

"You too, Bella. I am sure we will get to know each other better when you get back." Well that sucked, she seemed nice enough though. I guess I needed to grow up and stop acting like a child.

"Sure," I said with a small smile. "Got to go Dad. Love ya." I kissed his cheek and headed for the door. Just as I got to the buggy I heard my dad call my name.

Edward took my things and told me quietly under his breath to be nice. I didn't understand why he had this power over me. It was weird. I felt like I had to obey him.

"What's up?" I asked as I jogged back over to my father.

"What's going on with that boy?" he asked nodding his head towards Edward, who was waiting by my side of the buggy.

"Nothing. It is just his…. I don't know duty? I guess, to watch over me or something. Dad, I am not going to become Amish. Ok?" I asked with a giggle and he took a deep breath. "I was just angry, trying to get a rise out of you. Although next summer, he is going to be staying with us," I told him as I turned my back.

"Were you going to ask?" he said getting pissed again.  
"Um… no. Didn't think you would say no. It's not a big deal, he'll just share my room and I'll show him how we live."

"Yeah, no," he said. "You are not sharing a room with this boy."

"Dad, he is Amish. All he really wants to do is sleep in, listen to music, and learn how to drive a car," I told him as I rolled my eyes. "We've got a year to mull it over Dad. I really have to go. We can stay up all night and talk about this when I get home. K?" I said as I went to the buggy and Edward took my hand and helped me get in.

"Sorry about that," I said to Edward as he pulled away.

"That was very uncalled for," he said not even looking at me.

I immediately felt chastised. Why the fuck did I care? But for some reason, I did.  
"I told him I was sorry and I even said sorry to his girlfriend," I said quickly trying to explain myself but at the same time rolling my eyes. "He could have had the balls enough to tell me he was seeing someone. Instead he waited until I was gone to sneak her in the house," I said petulantly.

"Regardless. Just don't talk to your father like that, ever," he said in that final tone.

I turned my head away from him with a sigh. When we pulled in Mr. Cullen was waiting for us.

"What took so long? I said there and back," he said sounding upset.

"Sorry Mr. Cullen, that was my fault." I didn't elaborate any further, not really wanting him to know that I gotten into a fight with my dad. "All I have is a black skirt, I hope it will be appropriate," I said holding it up.

"Well, that will have to do," he said shaking his head, still visibly displeased about something. "Go on inside," he said to me as he followed Edward to the barn.

When I got inside I put my stuff on a chair by the door and then went into the kitchen. Everything to prepare for supper had already been done. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Was everything okay at your house? We were getting worried," Mrs. Cullen inquired.

"Um, yeah, my dad and I just had a misunderstanding. So he, well, it just took up a little more time than I expected," I said as Edward and his father came in. His father glared at me. Fuck, Edward must of told him.

Dinner was completely silent. I didn't dare say anything. Even the clean up was silent. I put my things in my room and when I came out they were all sitting in the living room. I saw Edward move over on the bench he was sitting on to make room for me to sit next to him. They all seemed to be quietly engaged in individual pursuits so I went back to my room and got my notebook and pen. Everyone but Alice was reading; she looked like she was working on schoolwork. I sat next to Edward and started writing my essay. After about an hour Alice was the first to speak.

"Bella, do you get a lot of home work?"

"at least an hour or so everyday." I told her.

The silence continued on until it was interrupted by loud music blaring from the direction of the street. I stood and looked out the window, realizing Tanya's car was the source of the offending noise.

"They are so rude," I muttered.

"You may go talk with them," Mr. Cullen calmly said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes Bella, you can talk to an outsider in passing, and they seem to be just sitting there. Though when you speak to them, please ask them to turn down the noise," he said as I got up and walked to the door and than ran down the driveway.

"Bella!" I heard Mike yell. As I reached them Mike picked me up off my feet and gave me a hug.

"Turn the music down. God you guys are so fucking rude," I said as Tanya turned off her car.

"So how is it going?" she asked as I sat on the hood of the car.  
"It's going. I'm pretty tired and it is only the first day," I said and they laughed at me.

"What I would give to see you do manual labor," Mike teased.

"Whatever, Mike. Hey, do you have any candy or gum?" I asked.

"Missing sugar Bella?" Tanya asked as she handed me a peanut butter cup.

"Mmmmmm, this is so good," I moaned. They both laughed at me, I had to giggle myself at the dramatics of my own reaction. Mike was sitting next to me on the hood of the car and Tanya was hanging out her car window. "What are you up to tonight?" I asked them.

"Not too much, might go grab something to eat," Mike said with a shrug.

"Looks like your hot boyfriend is watching you," Tanya said nodding at the front window.

"Yeah, no. He's not my boyfriend, he's more like my protector," I said with a giggle.

"Ewwww, stop. I don't even want to think of it. Amish people are not hot." Mike said as I punched him in the arm.

"He is too hot, and very… nice. They all are. I have nothing bad to say. It's been a pretty cool experience so far," I told them. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Like quarter after eight," Mike said. That was when I noticed Edward walking down the driveway. "Ah… looks like your "protector" is coming to save you," he said with a laugh.

"I would become Amish if they all looked like that." Tanya said in awe.

"Hey Edward. This is Mike and this is Tanya, I'm not sure if you remember them from the other night," I said as he approached us. He shook both of their hands.

"Bella, it is time to come inside," he said.

"K," I said hopping off the car. "Oh, in the future if you guys are going to sit out here, don't crank the music," I said. All I got was a laugh and a "whatever."

"What were you eating?" Edward asked as we walked up to the house.  
"Just some candy, a peanut butter cup," I said. And that was it for our conversation.

I was hoping that Edward wasn't too pissed at me. I was so new to this world and still was having a hard time navigating what upset him and what didn't. But most of all, as the silence loomed over us, I couldn't stop my brain from thinking about turning in for the night


	5. Chapter 5

thank you all for the reviews. thanks to my beta chubbypoo you are amazing girl.

also I wanted to let everyone know that I will be having a book published called what changed. it was origanly going to be a fan fic but I wanted to see how the book would do. sssssssooooooo it will be out on amazon and barnes and noble website! I am very excited and can't wait to see the finished product!!!!!!!!!

I own nothing

* * *

Epov

Seeing Bella first thing this morning was nice. I didn't really sleep much, all I could think about was that kiss. I couldn't hide the smile from my face, thinking that she had chosen me to be her first kiss. Bella was so different from anyone I had ever met, and the more I got to know her, the more I liked her.

I didn't see Bella again until it was time for us to go to her house. I would have to say that "excited" was the wrong word to use when my father told me to take Bella home so that she could gather something to wear for church. I was much, much more than excited.

When I saw her I was, once again, all smiles. But when she told me that nothing could ever develop between us because of our different backgrounds, I began to quietly fume. She didn't have to tell me the repercussions of a relationship between the two of us; I'm Amish, not an idiot. I know better than anyone the restrictions and beliefs that will shape my future.

I was relieved that she quickly dropped the subject.

Unfortunately, as we approached her house it became apparent that Mr. Swan was at home. I had secretly been hoping that Bella would invite me back to her room again, that perhaps I could kiss her again. Just have a few more stolen moments to be alone with her. But as the disappointment settled in that that would not be happening, I turned my thoughts to the possibility that tonight might hold another opportunity.

I was standing outside the buggy waiting for Bella to return when I saw her burst through the door.

"Hey Edward, ya know what? I will marry you and join your family," she yelled as her father stormed out of the house, fast on her heels.

I almost smiled, but part of me knew that she was just trying to upset him. As I watched their interaction I became embarrassed for her, she was acting like a small, bratty child. I was floored when she started to yell at him. That was beyond disrespectful. When I heard Mr. Swan say that he wouldn't let her return, I had to do something to intervene. Finally, when I heard her use profanity towards her father, that was it for me. You never, ever talk to an elder like that.

"Bella don't talk to your father like that," I scolded as she scowled at me. I thought she was going to ignore me and go back to her yelling, but to my surprise she didn't. "Go get what you need. We need to be getting back. And apologize to your father," I said, hoping that this would end it so we could leave.

I needed for her father to allow her to return with me; one day wasn't enough.

As we pulled away from the Swan home I made sure to let her know that I thought her behavior had been uncalled for, though I found it funny that she grew quite at the admonishment instead of fighting me on it. I wasn't sure if I was pleased or disappointed that she acquiesced to my reprimand so quickly. On one hand, there was no question that her actions were disrespectful and had crossed a line. On the other hand, I secretly enjoyed watching the kitten turn into a tiger as her confidence and opinions came pouring out.

When we got back to the house my father was waiting, his presence on the front porch being a clear sign of worry or impatience. Bella tried to appease him by taking the blame for the delay, but something was still clearly bothering him. It was obvious that he didn't approve of the skirt she had retrieved from her house, but I didn't think that that fact alone was enough to alter his mood in such a way.

"What happened?" my father asked me as we walked back to the barn.

I relayed the gist of the argument that Bella had had with her father and the words that had passed between us.

"And she listened to you?" he asked looking as shocked as I had been.

"Yes, she apologized to both Mr. Swan and his girlfriend," I explained before pausing. " I think she was hurt by the way her father had handled sharing the news with her and lashed out a bit," I told him as I closed the gate to the stall. He shook his head and we headed back to the house.

That night after dinner Bella sat beside me quietly working on her journal as we each silently pursued our own reading or interest. We had been peacefully relaxing for over an hour when I heard music, the kind of music that Bella liked. My father told her she could go talk to her friends that had pulled up outside but he asked her to have them turn down the noise. I smirked at that, though I must say I was a bit disappointed at the enthusiasm in which she ran outside.

I watched out the window at how she interacted with her friends. I didn't like it that the blonde boy hugged her again. Worse than that was the fact that she really didn't seem to mind it. And that upset me too; I wish she would mind.

They were all laughing and talking and I saw the girl in the car hand Bella something that she unwrapped and popped in her mouth. She closed her eyes and smiled. I hoped it wasn't drugs, but I knew so little of Bella's life in the outside world. I continued to watch their interactions as they teased each other, occasionally looking in my direction.

"Edward, I think that it is time for Bella to come in," my father said.

My feet could not carry me out of the house quickly enough. When I reached the road, Bella introduced me again to her friends Mike and Tanya. She bid them goodbye and told them not to sit outside and play the music loud, though it was hard to tell if they took her seriously.

As we walked back to the house I couldn't control my curiosity and asked her what she had in her mouth. "A peanut butter cup," she said. Since I knew that was simply candy I internally released a small sigh of relief at the innocence of an act I had gotten so worked up over.

Later, I could hear my parents get into bed for the night, so I crept back to Bella's room. She was lying in her bed with her hands covering her face. "What's wrong?" I whispered to her as I sat on the bed. To my surprise and delight she didn't jump or seem startled by my presence.

"Nothing really," she said softly as she sat up. "I'm sorry for the way I acted today. I was being a brat, I just…. I don't understand why you affect me the way you do." She seemed upset as she paused, taking a large swallow. "You are the first person that I have ever listened to when they told me to apologize or to stop talking to someone in a certain way," she said as I smiled. For some reason that made me feel good.

"Why do you think that is?" I whispered as I took Bella's hand.

"I don't know. It's like you have some kind of hold on me. I don't understand it," she paused again, "but I like it."

We exchanged smiles before she pulled the blanket back and patted the bed next to her. I moved next to her not knowing what to really do. She threw the covers over me and lay on her side facing me. I followed her lead and did the same, which seemed to please her. We laid there in the silence and stared at each other for a while.

"This kinda sucks," she finally said.

"What?" I asked, bewildered by her statement.

"This," she said waving her hand between us. "I really like you and it is scaring me. I feel…….dependent, on having you with me, in my life….and that can't happen," she said with tears in her eyes.

I don't know what came of over me but I kissed her, _really_ kissed her. I was relieved when she kissed me back. I was almost lying on top of her and I could feel my body reacting to Bella beneath me, the intensity of our kiss, and the feelings that were practically overwhelming my mind. After a while I pulled away from the kiss but stayed close by, rolling over to my back so that she was lying with her head on my chest. Her shirt had ridden up and I could feel her soft skin under my hands. That didn't really help my situation, but I wasn't going to pull away either.

"Just... let it be. Okay?" I asked her again as I bent over and softly kissed her lips. All she did was nod her head. "I … understand how you feel," I added softly.

She nuzzled her body closer into my chest at my admission. It wasn't long before I felt her totally relax as she fell asleep in my arms. I wanted so badly to stay there with her, but I knew that was never going to happen any time soon. I kissed her forehead and headed back to my room assured that it was going to be another sleepless night for me.

The next morning as I walked into the kitchen, breakfast was on the table and everyone but Bella was already gathered there. We said our good mornings and I sat and waited silently for Bella to appear. A small clicking noise announced her arrival. I turned to see Bella walking in, my mouth gaping open. She looked out of this world. She had on a tight black skirt that came to just above her knee and a long sleeved, blue shirt. She stopped inside the doorway as we all sat there staring at her.

"Would your father let you leave the house like that?" Alice asked shyly.

"Um, yeah," she said as she walked over and sat in her chair. "Do you want me to change?" she asked looking uncomfortable and nervous.

"I think that if you were to forgo the heels it will make it less "showy"," my father told her, except for that was the part of the outfit that I liked the best.

She just nodded her head and we all bowed our heads for prayer. I know that I should have kept my eyes closed, but I loved to look at Bella's legs. The way she had them crossed made me want to rub my hand up and down her long, smooth legs. We were done rather quickly with breakfast and I helped clean up just so I could continue to stare at Bella. I know that lust is a sin, but it was like I couldn't help myself; I would go to hell as long as I could continue to look at her.

When we were finally ready to leave for the service I was disappointed to see that Bella had changed into her sneakers. All of the kids climbed into the back of the buggy and my parents were in the front. It was still chilly during the mornings, a small fact that made me incredibly thankful since it required us to huddle up in the back to cover up together. When we were settled under the blanket I couldn't help myself, I started to rub Bella's leg; it was so soft. She looked at me and smiled as she inconspicuously put her hand on my thigh, causing my body to react instantly. As far as I was concerned, the ride, and our time beneath the blanket, wasn't nearly long enough.

When we got to the service, it appeared as if everyone was already there. After helping the girls out of the back, I went and found my older brother Emmet as Bella followed Alice and my mother.

"Hey Emmet," I said as I approached him.

"Edward, how's the house guest doing?" he asked as I smiled.

"She's good, very nice," I told him as he gave me a funny look.

He crowded in closer and lowered his voice to a low, gruff tone, "Lust is a sin, Edward. I saw you look at her, even as she walked away."

I rolled my eyes, "How could I not?" I said as we both laughed.

"You really like her," he said, clearly as a statement versus a question.

"Yes. Yes, I do," I said quickly and walked away before he could say anything else. I know that I shouldn't have feelings for Bella, but like she said, there was something between us that seemed to be pulling us together, making me so attached to her, too attached.

When church started, Bella was in the room with my mother and sister. My sister-in-law Rosalie was sitting with them also. The service was the normal three hours. I always felt so good after church; I couldn't help but wonder how Bella liked it. I couldn't wait to ask her. I'm sure she didn't understand much of it since it was spoken in German, our first language. My family spoke primarily in English at home because my father felt it would help us succeed living in an English community. But we were the minority among our Amish neighbors.

Like every other Saturday, all of the boys my age would rearrange the benches into tables so that lunch could be served after church. Lunch was usually bread and coffee with church spread: peanut butter and marshmallow mix. That was my favorite. There were also assorted jams and apple butter, pickles, cheese, and beets, and finally, apple pie.

We were not a large community, so we didn't have to eat in shifts. In the bigger communities the oldest people would eat first and so on. I was able to sit next to Bella, which was nice. I had missed her closeness in the short time of the service.

Everyone spoke quietly as we ate. "How did you like it?" I asked her as I put some church spread on my bread.

"With what I understood of it, it was so… powerful," she said shaking her head in disbelief. "It must take them days to prepare for something like that," she said as I chuckled at her.

"No. They don't prepare, they come up with it as they go along, as they catch the spirit," I told her as her eyes popped out in disbelief.

"Really? They know all that stuff by heart, all those quotes?"

"Yes, we all do," I told her as she continued to stare at me in surprise.

"I will have a lot of questions when we get home," she told me and we both laughed, drawing a little too much attention to ourselves.

"What's so funny, children?" my mother asked.

"We were just talking about the service, Mother. Bella said that she'd have a lot of questions later."

"That doesn't seem funny to me," she said. All eyes were on us as Bella just kept her head down demurely, eyes on her plate.

"She is surprised that we all know the bible by heart," I clarified for my mother.

"That we do. Usually by the age eight a child will know it word for word," my father interjected.

"That's incredible," Bella said as everyone chuckled at her.

After lunch the adults would clean up allowing the kids to go to the barn to "hang out" as Bella would say. I smiled to myself as we began to walk towards the exterior building, thinking that I liked the different words that Bella had taught us.

As Bella and I approached the front door we overheard my father and Emmet talking.

"Edward is falling for that outsider," Emmet said and Bella's eyes fell to the floor.

"I actually think it is a mutual thing. I just hope that it all works out," my father said with a pause. "We all must follow our own path. You were free to follow yours; he will be free to follow his. If he wants to be with her, then we will let him," my father said as I saw Bella smile.

"But Father, we will have to shun him," my brother said in a concerned, hushed tone.

"Let me worry about that son," my father said with a note of finality, making it clear that the topic was closed. It made me wonder what he meant by that though.

As we walked further down the hall I handed her the sweatshirt she had brought along. "Those two are meant to be together," I heard my grandmother's voice off to the side.

"I know mother," my mother said. I looked at Bella and the shy smile she was trying to hide matched my own.

"Will she convert?" grandmother said.

"No. She wouldn't be able to handle not seeing her father again," my mother said sadly as I looked at Bella.

"How do you know dear?"

"She told me. She said she would never let Edward leave the church. She believes that family is too important."

I could feel my anger growing and I was surprised to realize it was directed toward Bella.

"She sounds like a gem, but she knows too little. We both know what the man says goes, and if Edward says he will be with her, we have no say," Grandmother reasoned. "Do you think she would be able to submit to him?"

"I do. She already does as he says. It is quite amazing to watch the two of them together, to listen to them talk at night. They have the most heart filled conversations. Bella tries to put her foot down, but Edward always has the last word and Bella leaves it alone."

Bella and I stood there frozen in the realization that they listen to us at night. Once that sunk in I quickly realized that they must not mind our meetings too much if they were aware of them and haven't stopped us.

"That is truly amazing for such a young pair," my grandmother said as we walked out the door. I tried to take Bella's hand but she wouldn't let me as she wrapped her arms around her own tiny body. I looked over my shoulder and saw my parents, brother, and grandmother in the window looking out to us.

"Bella don't be like this. What they said were all good things," I told her trying to keep my voice low, between the two of us.

She turned to face me. "They talk like we are going to get married. Edward, I am sorry, but that's just not going to happen," she said incredulously.

"I already told you to let that subject be," I said as my voice began to gather a warning tone. "Honestly Bella, you have no say inside this community or in the outside world when it comes to me and my choices." I told her. By the time I noticed I had my finger pointed at her in an effort to make my point, I realized she had started to cry.

"It's nothing to cry over," I said more exasperated with myself than her. "Just let it be and we will see what happens," I told her as I pulled her into a hug. She wiped the last of her tears away and we headed to the barn hand and hand.

When we walked in the little kids were playing tag and laughing. Bella quietly let go of my hand and went to go sit with Alice. I went with the other boys that were there.

"Bella is very attractive," my cousin John offered. I just nodded my head when my friend David nudged my arm and pointed to the girls who were rubbing Bella's legs and laughing. We went over, overhearing the girl's conversation.

"So you shave everything?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, my legs, armpits, and my…. yeah, that's it," she said with a blush, confusing me.

"Does it hurt?" Annie asked. Bella just shook her head no. "It seems like it would take a while," Annie wondered and all the girls agreed, but Bella just laughed.

"Bella do you…." Mary started to say something but then blushed and shook her head no.

"You don't have to be embarrassed to ask me things. You all have been very open with me, I'll do the same," Bella told her, her earnestness written plainly across her face. After a few moments Mary finished her question.

"Do you wear underwear? I know you wear a bra because we all saw it that day at the creek, but do you…..?" Mary asked in full blush causing Bella to blush too.

"Yes, of course I do. They just, uh, they don't really cover my bottom. I don't like panty lines," she said as all the girls looked at her in awe and confusion. "You know, I don't like it when people can see the outline of your underwear from behind?"

"I don't understand. Can I see them?" Alice asked.

"Alice! What is wrong with you?" I said to her as she looked guiltily down to the ground.

"Sorry Bella, that was uncalled for," Alice said as Bella glared at me.

"What? She should have never asked you such a thing," I justified to Bella as she stood up and took Alice's hand. "Don't you dare Bella," I warned her.

I know I was coming across as prim and proper, but the reality was that I didn't want my sister to see her underwear when I knew I couldn't. I swallowed my guilt as I felt the sin and jealousy course though me. A few of the girls followed them and went into a nearby horse stall. All I could hear was the girls gasp and say 'oh my goodness.' I wanted to look so badly, I set my jaw as my teeth were meticulously grinding down to nubs.

"Are they uncomfortable?" one of them asked.

"No," she said, "I actually think they're more comfortable."

"But, they are up you bottom… how are they not?" Alice asked and all of us boys stood there staring at each other with our mouths hanging open. My mind was racing to things I had scarcely considered before meeting Bella. I really had to see her underwear.

Maybe she would let me tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. i wasn't sure how this stroy would go but it is starting to turn out great.

thanks to my beta chubbypoo she is making this story better.

also in case you haven't look at my profile i will be having a book published and it will be out in early june.... i am very excited and can't wait to the finished product.

i own nothing

Bpov

After the church services and lunch, Edward and I walked across to the barn with the other young people. As we walked he tried to take my hand but I wouldn't let him. He told me not to be like that, that all the comments we had overheard people saying about us were all good things. I never said they weren't, but I still hated the way his entire family had spoken about us with such intimacy, it was uncomfortable and unnerving.

I did try to put my foot down, especially after hearing his mother refer to how "submissive" I was with him, but he was so intimidating in his own way. When he said that I had no say inside the community or in the outside world, it hit a cord in me and I started to cry. I hated the feeling of having no control.

He rolled his eyes at me when I started to cry, that just made me cry more. But when he pulled me into a hug, I got goose bumps all over my body. Regardless of my previous protests, the nearness of him is what my soul needed to calm itself and ultimately we ended up walking hand in hand to the barn, just as he had wanted.

As we entered the barn we quickly separated by gender. Sitting with Alice and the girls I was caught off guard as Alice rubbed the back of her hand down my calf.

"What?" I asked her with a giggle.

"I'm sorry. They just look so soft. Do you forgive me?" Alice said looking down, clearly embarrassed by her brazen action.

"Alice if you want to feel my legs, have at it," I said with another giggle as she and the other girls began to stroke my legs in awe. It wasn't long before the boys were over looking. So it seems that both Amish and non-Amish boys are all the same when it comes to a girl's legs, I thought to myself with a smirk.

When Sarah asked if I shaved everything I almost didn't think before I spoke, but I was glad I did. I didn't have the need to shave everything, but still, I tried to keep things groomed and maintained. So I was glad no one questioned me further when I cut off my sentence.

When the conversation somehow made its way around to my underwear, I was floored; that was the last thing I was expecting. Edward tried to go all alpha male, but I wouldn't let him. He was so mad, or maybe he was jealous, I really couldn't tell. But I knew that while I didn't want to embarrass him, or myself for that matter, I wasn't going to suddenly let him make all of my decisions for me.

I pulled Alice into a horse stall and a couple of the girls followed. I was really uncomfortable with the entire situation but tried not to let it show, after all, it's not like I was some sort of experienced exhibitionist or something. But I didn't like the way Edward spoke to Alice and I needed opportunities to be assertive around him.

I lifted my skirt to show them that I was wearing a pair of white cotton thongs- nothing that would be considered racy if I were in my high-school locker room, but admittedly, something out of the norm for the horse and buggy set. They all stared wide-eyed, blushing in various shade of fuchsia.

Mary asked if they were uncomfortable and I shook my head no. Alice didn't believe that. I giggled as I heard Edward outside huffing, so I quickly lowered my skirt and went back out to sit with the girls on the hay bales. We had just fallen back into comfortable zone of girl-talk when Edward quietly approached me and sat in the free space to my side. The other boys followed his lead and ambled into other free spaces amongst the group.

"Have you ever kissed a boy?" Alice asked.

"Uh, yes," I said. I'm not sure if the girls heard the tremor of nervousness in my voice above their own, soft giggles.

"What was it like?" Mary asked.

I could feel the shift in Edward's body weight at my side as I tried to avoid looking at him. "It was perfect- amazing. It gave me goose bumps all over my body," I told them as I heard Edward quietly chuckle and the girls "oh and ah."

"I was nervous at first, but....it was so right. I just went with it," I said as Edward stared at me.

"Have you ever seen a boy naked?" Mary asked as her curiosity overcame her obvious embarrassment at asking the question.

"Yeah….." was all I could say before Edward cut me off.

"What? When?" he demanded. Clearly not pleased with this newest revelation.

"All the boys that I hang out with, we went skinny dipping once…. No, twice," I told them. They all looked confused. "You know, we went swimming, but we didn't have our suits with us so we just went…..without our suits," I told them as realization washed over their faces.

"Why would you do that?" one of the other boys asked.

"It didn't seem like such a big deal at the time, I mean we were underwater….." I trailed off with a shrug.

"That's not an answer, Bella," Edward said in a harsh tone.

"I don't know why I did it. But it was fun." My initial shyness at the boy's reaction was now being overridden by the realization that I had done nothing to be embarrassed over and the determination to make sure Edward knew it. "And it wasn't like I was alone, it wasn't sexual, no one touched me. It was spontaneous, freeing," I said trying to stand my ground.

"I could never do that," Alice said blushing.

"Do you know that in the English schools they teach kids about intercourse?" Edward said to the group. They all turned to me. I wanted to roll my eyes, not at all happy that Edward was keeping this conversation going.

"Don't look so shocked. For me, in my world, sex is everywhere. All of my friends have engaged in sex in one form or another. I am the only one that has never done anything sexually. They teach us because sex can be a very dangerous thing." No one said anything so I kept talking. "I mean, sex can be dangerous, but not knowing about sex can be even more dangerous. There are sexually transmitted diseases, some that are deadly. That is why they teach us how to be safe. They encourage us to be abstinent, but if we do choose to have sex they want us to be smart about it. They teach us about birth control so we won't get pregnant and condoms that help protect against STDs," I said hoping that they have heard enough.

"What is a condom?" Jasper blurted out.

"Ugh….it's a rubber thingy that, um….well it covers the penis to… catch the cum….." I stammered, but they all looked confused. "Um, it catches the semen?" I said,more as a question, as the boys nodded in awed understanding.

"I don't understand," Alice said.

"Well, uh, when you have sex….. You really don't know about this?" I asked in exasperation, but Alice just shook her head, no. "So, when you have sex… the man releases semen, it is what gets girls pregnant. And the condom creates a barrier, stopping it from getting inside the girl's body," I said relieved when all of them nodded their heads in understanding.

"How do you know so much about this," Alice asked.

"I told you, they teach it to them in the English school," Edward jumped in defensively.

"Do you think you will have sex before you are married?" Alice asked.

I slowly nodded. I wasn't sure if I had overstepped some sort of bounds, but if I wanted honest answers _from_ them, I had to give honest answers _to_ them. After that the conversation was light. I was glad when the sex questions were over. We talked about their schooling, which most of them had completed since it only went to eighth grade. As tempting as that sounded, I couldn't imagine being done with school now and fending for myself in the real world. But I guess that was something else about the Amish, you never really were "by yourself."

After a long day we headed back to the house and as much as I wanted to participate in the family time, I was too tired and just wanted some time to myself. That was one thing I missed. Everyone stopped by to say goodnight as a scrawled in my journal.

Knowing he would probably come by later in the night, I was surprised to see Edward at my door as the house was settling down. His growing comfort level with me was obvious as he walked over to my bed and got under the blankets, wrapping his arms around me. I snuggled into his chest.

"I wasn't sure if you would come tonight," I whispered to him as he kissed me.

"Why would you think that?" he asked rubbing his hand on the bare skin of my back where my shirt had ridden up.

"Because your parents know," I said.

"If they didn't like it they would have said something," he told me, kissing me again. "We're not doing anything wrong," he said, looking into my eyes.

"I know," I said, not really knowing what to do. It was one thing to talk about sex education, it was another thing to get an education in "sex" when the boys parents were right down the hall.

Edward began to kiss and nuzzle my jaw line. His thigh inched over my own as his soft lips trailed up my neck. I closed my eyes, letting the sensations wash over and warm me until I heard his low, husky voice in my ear. "Can I see your underwear?" he whispered.

"What? Really?" I asked, my eyes popping open in complete shock.

"I mean you don't have to," he said quickly, sounding a bit embarrassed.

I looked over at him and I saw the passion from moments ago, but I also saw fear. He was afraid that he had gone too far, asked too much. And at that moment, I felt that there wasn't such a thing when it came to the two of us. I was his.

I gently pushed his leg off of me, keeping my eyes trained on his; searching for trust, offering it in return. I sat up, rolling over to sit up on my knees, facing him. I carefully pulled my pajama pants down, exposing the innocent, white cotton thong. Edward propped his head up on his elbow, keeping his eyes focused on mine. He then slowly moved his head to the side and looked at my exposed ass.

"Can I touch you?" he whispered reverently.

I had never been touched before. I tried to quell my butterflies as I gave him a slow nod.

Edward raised his hand to my ass, palming it gently before giving it a soft squeeze. His eyes returned to mine as he raised himself up on his knees, facing me- chest to chest- and kissed me. This kiss was not slow or gentle as he grabbed my butt roughly and continued to knead. As the kiss continued to deepen he pulled me tightly against him, pressing his hardness into my stomach.

For the first time ever, I could feel myself getting wet as the tingling butterflies ran from my stomach to all of the nerve endings across my body. He ran his hands down my thighs and up again, along my ribs, under my shirt, all the while not releasing the pressure of our bodies pressing together. He kissed me like he was never going to be able to this again. And I kissed him with just as much passion.

It was everything: everything I had ever read about, I had ever wanted, had ever dreamed of having. And I couldn't do this. Not here and now. Not with him, not yet.

I pushed against his chest, breaking our kiss and the connection of our bodies as I pulled away.

"Edward, we can't," I softly gasped as he shook his head breathlessly.

"You're right," he said closing his eyes and taking a breath before he kissed me once more and gently pulled my pants back up.

We quietly lay back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, with our hands entwined but our bodies separated just enough to cool the intense heat that had built up between us. As our breathing calmed my mind wandered to the secret thoughts that I had had the night before.

"Do you… jerk off?" I whispered, thankful that the darkness of the room would camouflage the blush of embarrassment that I am sure was staining my cheeks.

"Bella, I don't know what that means," he told me as he rolled from his back to his side to look at me.

"Do you um…. masturbate?" I asked shyly as I snuck a glance at him only to see his eyes grow large.

"No. That's a sin, Bella."

"Really?" I whispered in surprise as I rolled to face him. "Wow."

"Is that a normal thing to do in your world?" he asked, searching my eyes.

"Yes, I mean, I think for most people," I said softly. "Edward, why do you say 'your world?'"

"Because realistically we live in two different worlds, Bella. You have been referring to the outside world as "your world" this whole time," he said as he kissed my forehead.

"I didn't realize that I was doing that," I whispered as I tried not to let the spark of electricity at the touch of his lips distract me.

He didn't talk much after that, though I wasn't sure if he was tired or in thought. We just cuddled in each others arms as my eyes began to droop and consciousness began to fail me. I don't know how long we laid there, but I did feel him kiss me softly on the lips as he got up to leave my room.

That night I dreamt of Edward and me in my world, carefree and in love. I knew it wasn't possible, but I wasn't sure if that was because Edward would never live in my world, or if two weeks was too soon to fall hopelessly, irrevocably in love with someone.


	7. Chapter 7

I want to thank everyone a million times for the reviews. I love them and I love writing this story!

I am also editing my first story bc it is a little rough. I will let you all know when that is done.

Thanks chubbypoo you are a wonderful beta......

I own nothing

* * *

Epov

The jealousy that was boiling inside of me almost hurt. I hated that Alice got to see her underwear. I hated that Bella had seen other boys naked. I _really_ hated that other boys had seen her naked.

I hated that she planed on having sex before she was married.

Well, if I was being honest, I hoped that I was the only one she thought of in that way, and I hated that she didn't think that it was a big deal.

I have never felt this way before, and a part of me didn't like it one bit, but another part of me felt…. right.

If I had been a gentleman, I would have let the conversation die away. But instead, I brought up the knowledge that Bella learned about sex in school. It wasn't my intent to embarrass her or make her look bad. Truthfully, I just really wanted to learn more about it all and was hoping I could do so with someone else asking the questions.

She was very brave and honest, but it did scare me a little bit. Actually, I think we were all taken aback because we had always been taught that sex was for the purpose of reproduction. In Bella's world, people did it just for fun while actually trying _not_ to get pregnant. I didn't understand it.

Later, when we went to say goodnight, she was sitting on her bed in her pajamas writing in her notebook about what she had learned about our community that day. This had quickly become my favorite time of the day, spending time with Bella alone at night, just us. I was actually relieved to learn that my parents knew about the time we spent together, I knew if they minded my father would have said something to me. I was jumping to a conclusion of convenience, assuming that the fact that he hadn't commented was almost as good as granting me permission.

However, even knowing that he knew that I had been visiting her room, I also knew that a whisper could either sound like silence or like a roar. Obviously not every comment could be made in the same tone or volume. I had never been more aware of that fact than in that night's interactions with Bella.

Her underwear.

Her total lack of anything that could properly be called underwear, was…..amazing. All I wanted to do was touch her, and then touching became squeezing, and pressing, and kissing. I was consumed by the lust I felt for her, and even though I knew that lust was a sin, I could not help myself.

Our kiss was like nothing I had felt before. It was passionate and filled with longing. There was… desperation in it. I had always thought that a kiss like that would be the pinnacle, an incredible end, but instead, something about that kiss promised that this was only the beginning.

My hands would not stop roaming her body, though she stopped us right before I got to her breasts. I was thankful that she had the presence of mind to stop us, while at the same time I was in no way ready for this to stop. Not at all.

I wanted Bella, just Bella, and no one else. I don't think I would ever want anyone else. Knowing that she would leave here and go about her life drove me crazy. Knowing she would be back out in her world, with its different rules and expectations, knowing that I would only see her in passing over the next year was unfathomable.

I couldn't wait until Rumspringa.  
Would she wait for me?  
Would I have the guts to ask her?

I woke up the next morning with the dreadful reminder that we only had four days left. At breakfast my father said that tomorrow Bella would follow me around and see how my day went. It was a one-day deal. Everything about my time with Bella seemed to be limited, not nearly enough. To further prove this point, I didn't see Bella again until lunch.

I walked in early and heard laughter coming from the kitchen; I guiltily stood outside the door to listen to the girls talk.

"Oh Bella, your life sounds so happy," Alice said as Bella's laughter died down.

"Where is your mother? I never hear you talk about her," Alice said. Curious to her answer, I leaned in towards the door in hopes of hearing her response.

"I don't know. All I know is that she's put money in an account for me, but she's not really a part of my life. Last time I heard, she was in Florida."

"Who takes care of all the household duties?" Alice asked in disbelief.

"I do. My dad is too busy with work and I'm alone a lot. It has to be done and it's not like I mind or anything; I have nothing better to do and I actually love to cook," she said with a brightness that didn't ring true. She almost sounded sad and I found myself struggling to stay put instead of rushing into the kitchen to gather her in my arms and hold her.

"When was the last time you talked to your mother?" my mother asked delicately.

"Um, honestly, I think it was Christmas? She called. That's when she mentioned being in Florida." There was a pause before Bella continued softly, "I've only been here four days and you feel more like a mother to me than she ever did. Even when she was around…." Her voice began to crack and she ended up not being able to complete her thought before she took a deep breath.

How can a mother do that to her child? Just leave and only call once in a while. My heart broke for Bella. I wanted to make it better, I wanted to cherish her.

"Do you miss her?" Alice asked.

"Not anymore," Bella said.

That was even sadder. I walked into the kitchen hoping that they would stop asking her about subjects that were making her sad. As I walked in I saw my mother with tears in her eyes, as well as Bella. They both looked away from me quickly.

"Everything okay?" I asked, I didn't want them knowing that I had been eavesdropping.

"Yeah," Bella said with a sniffle. "We were just having a heart to heart," she said quietly.

Lunch finished quickly and before I knew it I was back outside in the barn for the rest of the day. I heard the barn door open but didn't hear anyone walk in. I looked towards the door and no one was there, but after a few minutes I heard sniffling. I walked towards the door and found Bella sitting on the floor of the barn with her knees to her chest, her head on her knees.

"Bella?" I asked and she jumped, startled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I told her as I sat next to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she whispered.

I knew that was a lie. "Tell me," I said trying to sound comforting and confident at the same time.

"You clearly know nothing about girls," she said, sounding sad and exasperated. "Sometimes we just need to cry. It makes us feel better, even if nothing's wrong," she said as she wiped her tears away.

I really didn't know what to say so just put my arm around her as she cried into my shirt. After a few minutes she calmed down.

"Feel better?" I asked wiping away the last of her stray tears.

"A little. I haven't missed my mother in a long time, but just being here with your mom and talking with her makes me miss what I don't have." A few more tears slipped down her face. I didn't know what to do or say. I just wrapped my arms around her and hugged her, gently kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry you don't have her in your life. I can't imagine my world without my mother," I said as we sat there in silence for a little while longer.

"That's why nothing can come of us," she said softly. "I won't let you just walk away from such an incredible family."

That was when I started to get it; I started to understand what she has been saying all along. I know that if I walk away from the Amish community I will never see or talk to my family again, maybe in passing, but that would be it.

"When was the last time you saw your mother?"

"A few years ago. I don't really remember," she said dismissively as she stood up. "I'm going to finish helping with dinner."

I stood, bending over to place another kiss on her head but she moved away from me. "Bella, don't be like this," I said as I pulled her back to me.

"Edward, we can't do this anymore. It's just going to make things harder in the long run," she said as she tried to move toward the barn door.

"I don't care Bella. I would rather do this now than never," I said. I was trying to keep my emotions under control, under the surface, but she was chuckling. "I'm serious Bella, what's so funny?"

"You're just like Tennyson. You know, the poet? He said, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all."" She looked at me sadly, any signs of her earlier laughter gone from her face.

"It's true. It is so true," I told her as I moved in and kissed her. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that I will never regret a single day that we will spend together," I said kissing her gently.

"No more talk about this, about Rumspringa, about what happens after..."

"I can't promise that… but doing and saying are two different things. I want you, but I want my family also. I am very selfish," I said.

"That, Edward, you are not. I don't think it is selfish to want to be surrounded by all of the people you love. In my world you could have both." She broke our gaze and wouldn't look me in the eye. "I will give you up, so your family can keep you. I would never make you choose," she said.

"That, my Bella, makes you the selfless person."

Cpov

I headed back from talking to the bishop; I was doing everything in my power to make it so Edward would not be shunned if he stayed in the outside world with Bella.

I don't even know if Edward was aware of his blatant curiosity with the outside world. Every time a car would pass, you could see the proverbial wheels turning in his mind. I think he really liked the idea of having a car, the music coming from the passing traffic causing his face to light up at the sound. But now his curiosity seemed to be about so much more than a vehicle.

I wanted him to be happy, for all of my children to be happy, and to be honest, I was no longer sure if the simple style of Amish life would keep his heart and mind full.

The bishop said that he needed to think about the decision and talk to the other elders.

When I returned home I was surprised to see the barn door open. As I walked to the barn I heard crying. I looked around the corner to see my son holding Bella as tears washed down her face. He had such love in his heart, I had never known its depth before seeing him with Bella. She was going to help my son find himself, and for that I will always be grateful to her.

My heart broke for that young child as I overheard her expressing how she missed her mother. How could a mother just up and leave and never look back? I had thought Bella to be so typical of teens in the outside world, a bratty, self-absorbed child. But now I could see her for the hurt little girl who just wanted her mother. I was glad that she could have the comfort of Esme for a few more days.

Hearing Edward say that he couldn't imagine not seeing his own mother again gave me hope that he would stay here in our community, our lifestyle. Perhaps having Bella here, the outside world within his touch, was too tempting for him. I secretly gave hope to the thought that once she left, the time apart would help his feelings go away.

But then again, Bella really wasn't the person that I thought she was. My initial fear that she could make a mockery of our lifestyle had been dis-proven. In fact, it was becoming increasingly clear that I was the one with preconceived stereotypes that had been unfair to _her_. She not only looked on my family with a positive light, but she also kept our needs and traditions in the forefront of her decision making.

Edward was right; she was a selfless person. And it made my role as a father that much more difficult.

Bpov  
The daily routine of cooking and cleaning was wearing me down, especially since it had been laundry day. By the time we had finally gotten the clothes hanging outside on the line I was longing for my old washer and dryer at Charlie's! The knowledge that I only had four more days of this came with both relief and sadness.

It had been an exhausting day. But more so than the chores, it was the emotional toll of thinking about my mom that had really worn me out. I did love Renee, regardless of how my flip comments came across, and I wanted, needed, for her to be a mother. But in her absence, I had made due. Most of the time it didn't bother me. And then there were days like today, when the loss crept up on me and overwhelmed to me. Everything seemed overwhelming to me today.

At dinner Mr. Cullen started up conversation with me. That was a first.

"So Bella, are you learning a lot?" he asked.

"Yes, I am. I've been amazed at how much I didn't know. I think that the church service was the most educational for me. There are some things that can't be read about or conveyed through words, they need to be experienced," I told him as he nodded his head in agreement.

"Is there anything you still have questions about?"

There was. I just didn't know if I was going to offend him by asking.

"I do. Um… the name Cullen, that's not an Amish name, right?" I asked, noticing the small smile that was playing across his mouth.

"That's very observant of you to notice such a thing, Bella. No, it really is not an Amish name; it is an American name, originally Irish actually. My father was an outsider before he met my mother. I was born in the Amish community," he explained to me as I looked on in surprise.

"Really…. that is… crazy," I said deep in thought as he chuckled at me. "Did your father have any family that he left behind?" I asked.

"No, he had no siblings and his parents had died. He didn't leave anyone behind," he said thoughtfully, as if he knew how I really felt about the subject. I just nodded.

"Would you mind if I include that in my report?" I asked.

"Not at all," he said with a smile. Something had changed with Mr. Cullen, he was different, softer, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"How did they meet?"

"As we all do, by the grace of God. My mother was walking along the trails in the woods, looking for berries. My father was walking by when they ran into each other, literally," he laughed. "And as these things go, sometimes you just "know." He went to the bishop and asked to marry her. He took the oath to learn all our rules and follow them, and with that they were married," he said.

"That is the nicest story that I have heard in a long time," I said, the warmth and endearment of such a commitment keeping a small smile on my face.

"What do you plan on showing Edward when he goes on Rumspringa?" he asked randomly, catching me off guard.

"As much as I can before the time is up. Um, I may teach him how to drive, take him to the mall. There's so much technology. I'll show him how to use the internet, maybe set him up with facebook while he's there," I said with a giggle.

"What's a face book?" Alice asked.

"It's an on-line network where you talk to friends."

"But you said that you talk to them with your cell phone," she asked, confused.

"I do. It's hard to explain, I would have to show you," I told her and she just nodded her head.

"What is the one thing that you are missing the most right now?" Mrs. Cullen asked.

"Honestly, the washer and dryer," I said as we all laughed.

"Of all things," Edward said chuckling.

It had been the best mealtime I had had here the entire time.

Edward came to my room that night and we continued to talk. He asked me random questions, like all of my favorite things as well as things that I didn't like. We talked more about my mom, but only the good things.

"What are you religious beliefs?" he asked me.

"Um, I'm not really sure. I don't now if I really believe the whole "Adam and Eve" story. I mean, it just seems…. not real. Like, how can a world of people come from one couple, more than that, one rib? And they had two son's right?" I asked him as he nodded his head at me. "How did they reproduce and have children? Did they have sex with their mother? Ew! Honestly, it just isn't logical. And ya know how the bible says that every one is forgiven for their sins as long as they believe and take Jesus Christ into their hearts?" I asked him and he nodded again, silently. "Well, if there is such a place as heaven, and murderers and people that hurt children get to go there after they die, I don't want to go to heaven, if that's the case. I mean, I don't know the whole bible Edward, not like you do, but it is really confusing, it almost seems hypocritical. It just doesn't hold a lot of meaning for me."

There was a long pause and I could tell that Edward was trying to digest everything I had just laid out for him. I was pretty sure it wasn't the answer he had been expecting.

"I have never thought of that before. I guess I can understand your outlook." We sat there silently cuddling for a little while longer.

"You should get some sleep," he said reaching over to kiss the tip of my nose. "Tomorrow will be a different kind of day for you, you're with me," he said with an impish smile before giving me one more small kiss goodnight.

Before I knew it I was being awoken to Alice's small pleas. "Bella! Come on, I let you sleep as long as I could," she said as I rolled over and picked up my cell phone to check the time. Urrghh, it was almost six.

"Shit," I muttered as I flew out of bed. "I'm so sorry Ally. I didn't mean to use that language in front of you," I said rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Don't worry about it. My father wanted to talk to you before you started the day. I'm not sure, but I think you and Edward might be in trouble," she whispered as the blood slowly drained from my face. "He let him sleep in too."

"Do you think he will send me home?" I asked as I felt the sadness wash over me.

"No, he doesn't seem that mad."

She turned to leave my room as I quickly got ready for the day. I walked down the hall, letting my nerves get the best of me.

"Good morning," Mrs. Cullen said to me with the same reassuring smile she always offered.

"Yes, good morning," I said timidly as I sat in my chair. "I'm sorry I slept so late."

"It's not a problem, Dear. We let you sleep in," she said as Edward walked in looking very tired. He sat in the chair next to me and put his face in his hands.

"If you two insist on talking with each other at night, then I think it needs to start a little earlier so that you aren't up into the wee hours. I woke up close to one this morning and I could still hear you two talking. Now, I've not intervened before now because your conversations had been fairly brief, but last night neither one of you stopped talking," Mr. Cullen said as he shook his head at us. "Today you two will clean the whole barn until it meets my specifications. Do you understand?" he said as both Edward and I nodded our heads in acceptance.

I really didn't understand Mr. Cullen. I thought for sure that he would tell us that we couldn't talk to each other at night, but instead he just seemed to want to give us a time limit. I honestly didn't think that I would be able to stay up talking tonight anyways.

Edward and I headed out to the barn in sleepy silence to get started on our day. I knew that I had to wake myself up; I couldn't believe how tired I felt. I began to bounce up and down on my toes before picking my knees up and jogging in place a bit. My pulse was stating to pick up and I did feel a little more awake.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked me, stopping by my side.

"Just trying to wake myself up."

"Did it help?" he asked in an annoyed tone, rolling his eyes.

"As a matter of fact, it did," I said plastering a big, cheesy smile on my face. "Don' be cranky with me just because you're tired, Mister," I said walking cheerfully into the barn.

He handed me a long rake. "What's this for?" I asked as he brought one of the horses out of its stall.

"Well, you're helping me today, right?" he asked, still sounding a bit annoyed. I nodded. "We are starting with the hardest part first. Walk to the back of the stall and start pushing the manure toward me and I'll do the shoving," he said as I walked to the stall door and gagged.

"You have got to be kidding me?" I said staring into the mucky stall.

"It's not that bad," he grumbled.

"What is your problem this morning?" I asked as I walked tentatively into the stall.

"Just stop being a baby about this."

"Then stop being a jerk to me," I said, more to myself than to Edward as I pulled my sweatshirt up over my nose and started pushing piles of shit towards him. It really wasn't that bad but with Edward being so pissy I decided it was best to work in silence for a while.

It didn't come as a surprise to find out how easy it was to work with him; we made a good team. By the time we were finishing the first stall I was sweating and took off my sweatshirt. Edward stuck his hand out for me to hand it to him and he hung it up for me.

"Thank you," I said quietly. He gave me a nod and that was it for the conversation. After a while the quiet began to drive me insane. I hated that Edward was acting angry with me. As we finished with the stalls Edward went to get his father to check on our work and see if it was up to his standards.

I was sitting on a hay bale and I had my head leaned up against the side of the stall when they walked in. Mr. Cullen smiled at me as he looked in and told us to wash down the walls. Edward silently gathered the necessary supplies to get us started. Once again, when we were done he went and got his father's approval.

I sat waiting on the hay bale as Edward began to spray water from the garden hose to wash down the stall floors. When the second stall was done he stood in front of me with his hand stuck out towards me. I stood on my own, crossing my arms in front of my chest. He didn't question it but I could see the annoyance in his face.

"Up the ladder," he said nodding his head toward the hayloft. Once we were both up there I decided I couldn't take it any more. I wanted to know what his problem was.

"Why are you so mad at me?" I asked as he turned to look at me.

"I'm not mad," he said softly as he sat on a hay bale.

"Then what's wrong, and don't say "nothing," because I know something is wrong."

"I'm just tired. I don't think I have ever been this tired," he said, smiling sadly.

I sat on the hay at his feet and pulled him down to me, rolling us in the process so that we were lying down, side by side. As I wrapped my arms around him I was incredibly thankful to feel him cuddle into me.

"I didn't mean to keep you up so late," I said softly, running my fingers through his hair.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one that stayed." He gave a small sigh, "We really don't have time for this. You are going to put me to sleep," he said with a chuckle. He picked himself up off my chest and propped himself up to his elbow. "I'm ruining our day together," he said looking into my eyes.

I gave him a warm smile. "No. But if you feel that way, then you can make it up to me this afternoon," I said as he smiled and gently leaned over to kiss me.

I was so comfortable with him and I _loved_ kissing him. I reached up to deepen the kiss, and as soon as I felt his tongue in my mouth and his hand on the bare skin of my stomach, my whole body broke out in goose bumps. He pulled me closer to his body and I could feel his thumb rubbing along the edge of my bra's underwire. He sucked on my bottom lip and pulled slowly away from my mouth. I lay there breathlessly as he stared into my eyes, his hand moving up to gently cup my breast. His mouth opened a bit in a small gasp as his thumb rubbed circles around my now harden nipple.

"Edward! Bella? Are you in here? It's time for lunch," we heard Alice call from down below. Neither one of us moved, Edward never broke our eye contact as he answered her, telling her that we would be right down.

"I love being with you," he said in a soft, breathy voice as he kissed me, his hand still gently caressing me over my bra.

"I was all upset because I thought that you were mad at me. I couldn't stand it," I whispered. "You promise that you were just tired?" I asked as he placed another small kiss on my lips.

"I promise. I am tired and I have… so many emotions going through me that I don't understand," he said, his hand gently roaming and exploring my chest as he spoke, but his eyes looking deep into my own.

"I understand…. how you feel. I feel the same way," I said as I kissed him.

"Come on," he said slowly taking his hand out of my shirt, stroking my stomach along the way. He reached down to help me up. "I'm hungry," he said with a playful look in his eyes.

I watched as he climbed down the loft's ladder and thought to myself how lucky I was to have him in my life. As Carlisle had told us when talking about his parents, sometimes you just "know." I was falling in love with Edward and the consequence of that was that I was inevitably going to end up with a broken heart.

As I got to the bottom of the ladder he gripped my hips, helping me off the last step and lifting me gently to the ground. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him with strong, caring arms.

"I love you," I whispered; it was out of my mouth before I could even stop myself.

Shit, what did I just do?

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Dont hate me!!!!!!!!!!!! it may be a week or so before the next chapter is posted please be patience


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the later update... my beta and her family have been passing the germs around... hope they all feel better.. this chapter I went back and forth between povs because there is so much emotion in this chapter.... enjoy girlys**

**I own nothing**

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Bpov

Did I just say that out loud?

Edward was just standing there looking at me with the most complex look on his face. I didn't feel bad for saying it, but at the same time I sort-of wish I hadn't.

"I don't understand you," he said, almost looking mad. "You say that we can't be together and then you say you love me? You can't say things like that and expect me not to be affected," he said as he started to pace the barn floor.

He was right. I felt like an asshole.

"I'm sorry. Just forget that I said anything," I said as I hurried out of the barn, holding my tears at bay.

He didn't follow me.

I hurt him and I didn't mean to. I couldn't be in love with him. I mean, I could… I was…. but there was nothing good that could come out of this. Maybe I would just leave early and get out of this entire situation. It may be the only way to make this work without getting my heart broken.

But at the same time I think it was too late for that.

None of this was suppose to happen.

Epov  
Why would she say that? And why would she then say to forget it? Are all girls so hot and cold? One minute she is saying that we can't be together and then the next thing I know she is saying that he loves me? I didn't get it. I didn't get her.

Of course I loved her, but I was never going to say it out loud. Well, I didn't think I was. I have never had so many emotions going through my body. This whole week I have experienced, jealousy, anger that I have never felt before; the lust I was feeling toward her was in every thought.

At this point I didn't care if I left my family behind, I just wanted her. I have never wanted for anything in my life, was I being rash to be willing to give up so much, my entire life, for something that may not last? Why did I want her so bad? The only thing that I would get out of leaving the Amish is Bella. Is she really enough for me to leave my family? I had so many questions and so many emotions and no one to talk to about them. For the first time in my life I feel so alone.

For the first time in my life, I was in love. I am sure of it.

Like Bella said, in her world I could have both her love and that of my family's. I could have that in my world too, as long as the person was Amish.

Bpov  
There was so much tension at lunch. Edward looked like he was going to rip someone's head off. He was so mad. And I knew it was my fault. Ultimately we would have to talk about it.

I began to think about leaving again, making a clean break. I could leave tonight if I had to. The Cullen's were amazing people and I didn't want to turn their lives upside down any more than I already had. I was pulled put of my thoughts when Mr. Cullen started talking.

"When you two are done with the stalls, sweep down the whole barn and then wash the horses. Makes no sense to put a dirty horse in a clean stall," he said.

I nodded my head in understanding. Edward never looked up from his plate. His parent's weren't dumb, they knew that something was going on. Lunch finished in complete silence.

As Edward and I headed quietly back to the barn I took a deep breath and laid it all out. "Please don't be mad," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I never should have said anything. I'm going to go home tonight. I've already made a big enough mess and I don't want anymore damage than what has been done," I said as we made our way back up the ladder to the hayloft.

"You're not leaving until Friday," he said sternly. "Help me throw a couple of bales of hay over the edge." We continued to work in silence before Edward paused and stared at me. "Look, is that how you really feel? Do you truly love me?"

"Yes and I......" I couldn't finish my thought as Edward crashed into me with a searing kiss.

"I love you too," he said, gently pulling back and delicately touching my forehead with his own. "I'm so confused. I don't understand everything that I am feeling."

"Would it make it better if I said that I was never going to tell you? It just came out," I told him.

His brow puckered in a frown. "Why take back what you feel?" he asked.

"Because this can't happen," I whispered.

"I want it to."

"I know…. me too," I said feeling his confusion wrap itself around me.

"Please don't leave," he whispered, hugging me.

"I have to, on Friday."

He closed his eyes and slowly nodded his head. "Will you wait for me? I…I can't stand the thought of you with other boys," he said, trepidation coloring his voice.

My mouth opened and closed several times as I searched for the right words. But who can find the words when you can't even understand and control your emotions? "I don't know. Maybe," I took a deep, calming breath, "maybe we both need to see what we can find in our own worlds. Maybe it will…clarify things, help us figure out what we have," I said as he moved away from me.  
"Bella, please. I don't think I will ever feel for someone the way I feel for you. I don't need you to go away, or to kiss someone else to realize that."

"This is first love. It will never last."

"You're just trying to make me hate you. Just to let you know, that is never going to happen," he said, his breath becoming labored as he visibly began to get upset. "You have turned my whole life upside down and you can't just take that back. I am feeling things that I have never felt before. Do you even know how many sins I have committed in the last few days? And do you know that I don't care? For you, I don't care," he said as I felt the first tear fall. "Thank the Lord I'm not baptized yet," he murmured under his breath.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here," I said in a broken voice. I headed for the ladder but Edward stopped me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind. As he nuzzled his face into my neck I felt the warm drops of tears just as I heard him sniffle. I froze, I didn't know what to do or say.

"I'm so glad you are," he said as I turned to look at him. He looked so sad, his face damp, his eyes red. We both hugged and cried.

I buried my face into his chest and let my own tears flow. "I want this so bad, I wish there was a way."

"Shhhhhh," he said, I am not sure if he was trying to calm me or himself at this point. "Me too. Me too, Bella. So much. Can we just see what happens next summer? Please, please just wait for me? I want to be the one to hold you when you are upset. I want to be the one to kiss you. I can't let you go only to think about another guy's lips on you," he said as we wiped the dampness from each other's faces. "I don't want some other guy to wipe your tears. That' my job," he said as I gave him a soft smile.

"My life will never be the same after I leave here. I don't even know if I could care for some one the way I care for you," I said looking at him slightly in awe. I looked down to the hay at our feet to choose my next words carefully. "I feel it all, everything you've said, I feel it too……but, if someone asks me out …… I think I should go. I need to know that the love I feel for you is real. I…" I couldn't finish, I didn't even know how. But I knew after everything that has happened, the one thing I wasn't willing to do to Edward, whether we were together or apart, was to lie to him.

"I understand. I will try to do the same. I don't think that will happen for me, but I will try." He looked so sad, but resigned. "When you leave, would you be opposed to writing me?" he asked as I smiled.

"We can do that?" I asked as he smiled and nodded his head. "Oh my gosh, you don't know how happy that makes me," I said as I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him. He hugged me back picking me up off the ground in a tight embrace.

"I love you, Bella," he said as I smiled.

"I love you, Edward," I said as he kissed me. "I feel… better."

"Me too," he said, and I could feel his smile beneath my lips.

We quietly, but pleasantly went about completing our chores, finishing in time for Edward to take me to what he called, "his meadow." He told me that he always came here alone. It was like his own personal sanctuary. We laid in the grass in each other's arms. The next few days were going to fly by and I knew it. I wanted to spend every minute with him.

I knew then, that every minute with Edward, whether it be right now or next summer, was priceless.

Epov  
I couldn't believe that I cried.

I felt like there was nothing else that I could do. I have never felt so overwhelmed by my emotions. Agreeing to see other people was a huge compromise for me, and honestly, I doubted I would pursue it on my end. I knew everyone in my community and there was no one that I could love like I love Bella. Nor did I need to experience spending time with others to reassure my feelings- they were solid. I would just have to pray ever night from here on out that she wouldn't find some one. That this experience would do what she had hoped and reassure her that her feelings for me were indeed- real.

That night after dinner I could barely keep my eyes open, but I was not going to miss out on spending time with Bella. I was lying on her bed tracing my fingertips gently along her ankle as she wrote in her journal.

"What are you writing about?"

"Just about what we did today," she said distractedly. "Say, um, what did you mean when you said, 'thank the Lord that you weren't baptized?'" she asked looking up from her journal to stare me straight in the eye.

I should have expected this question. Nothing ever slips by this girl. And telling from the look in her eye, she wasn't going to let this one go until she got an answer.

"No sins are held against you until you are baptized. That is why in the church they wait until you are an adult, until you can acknowledge and understand your sins, to get baptize. Like when I go on Rumspringa, I don't have to follow the rules like I do here. I can wear whatever I want and do really anything that I want without, I don't know, without getting in trouble with the elders or with the church. It is considered a learning opportunity, a right of passage before adulthood. That is the best way I can describe it," I said a she nodded.

I laid my head back down, staring at the ceiling. All of what I said was true. The only problem with this theory is that I knew that my actions with Bella were a sin. I knew right from wrong, and I was willingly making my choices, whether I was baptized or not. I lay there with these thoughts mulling around in my mind, not sure of what implication they might have. Before I knew it my eyes had grown heavy and I must have started to doze off when I felt her move.

"What are you doing?" I asked groggily as she set her notebook down.

"Nothing." She said as she leaned against the wall. I opened her notebook to see what she had written and I saw my name written all over the pages. I smiled and looked at her, she had her eyes closed and had no idea that I was reading her pages. I flipped to the next empty page and I wrote, "Edward and Bella forever." Then I wrote I love you a few times. I smiled at the thought of her discovering the messages once she had returned home. I closed her book as my father walked up to the door.

"Let's call it an early night," he said as Bella sat up straight and I rolled over onto my back. "And no sneaking back in here after I go to my room," he said as I smiled at him. I didn't know why he was being so easy-going with this. I thought for sure that he wouldn't want us together. But in reality he was acting more like he wanted us together. He was another person that I didn't understand.

"You are going to be here in the morning right?" I asked her, just needing her to say it again.

"Yeah, why would you ask me that?" She asked looking at me confused.

"I don't know. I just feel like you are going to disappear," I said to her as she giggled, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm here until Friday, I promise you," she said kissing my cheek. "I love you," she whispered as she kissed my lips.

"I love you too, Bella, so much," I said softly, pulling her close to me in a hug and kissing her once more. "Good night," I said as I walked for the door.

"Night, Edward. I will see you in the morning," she said with the sweetest smile. As I reached my room I lay on my bed and I was out.

Esme pov  
The tears that welled in my eyes and the lump in my throat hurt beyond belief.

The words that Alice told me after lunch replayed in my mind over and over.

"They're in love!" Alice said as she danced into the kitchen after lunch.

"Alice how can you possibly know this?" I asked her.

"I was going to go and help them because we were pretty much done for the day, and when I walked in I heard Edward tell Bella that he loved her, too," she said as the blood rushed from my face.

"They are young and you shouldn't be listening to other people's conversations," I scolded her.

"I know but I couldn't help it. I heard Bella say that she was going to go home because she has messed up Edward's life and then he started to cry. I'm not saying a few tears Mom, he is really crying," she said with a concerned look on her face.

That was when my heart really started to ache. Could they really be in love? They are so young. I don't even remember the last time that I saw Edward cry.

I felt very hypocritical telling Alice not to eavesdrop and here I sit listening to Edward and Bella. I just needed to hear it for myself, I think.

Bella had a strange affect on the Cullens. My husband was now a complete softy when it came to her and my son. Alice was in love with her from the moment they said hello. I thought of her as my own, and of course, now I knew how Edward felt.

I would find out if Emmett would talk to him. I was sure that Edward had questions that he wouldn't want to ask either Carlisle or me. That is what I would do for my son, I would have Emmett, Rose and the kids for supper tomorrow night, I said to myself.

And I wanted a talk of my own….with Bella, and I was hoping I would have the opportunity while Alice was at school tomorrow.

* * *

**Thanks for reading please review!!!! let me know what you want to see during Edward's Rumspringa**


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to my beta chubbypoo she is making this story better and she has giving me amazing ideas!

I own nothing

* * *

Esme pov

I knew that I didn't have a lot of time to talk to Bella but I knew it was now or never. Alice left for school around eight and Bella and I started on the dishes from breakfast.

"So are you looking forward to going home?" I asked her.

"Yes and no," she said looking sad.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her, hoping to learn something, anything.

"Mrs. Cullen, I ….. I'm going to miss all of you so much. Part of me doesn't want to leave."

I smiled at her knowing this was probably my only chance to bring up Edward.

"You will miss Edward the most," I said as she fought back a smile. I had meant it as a question, but it certainly came out as more of a statement.

"Um, yeah, I guess. But I will miss you and Alice too, maybe even Mr. Cullen," she said trying to go around my question.

"You think you love him?"

"Is that wrong?" she asked as she looked at me with wide, confused eyes.

"Wrong? No, I wouldn't say wrong. What does your heart tell you?" I asked her as she looked away.

"Well, my mind says it is wrong that it shouldn't happen."

"Bella," I prodded again patiently, "what does your heart say?"

"That I am crazy about him and I can't get enough time with him," she said as her eyes sparkled with happiness.

"Do you believe in the saying, "everything happens for a reason?" I asked as she silently nodded. "Maybe, you and Edward were meant to meet," I said as she took a deep breath and started to kneed the dough for bread. "You know, you can talk to me about this, anything you tell me stays in the kitchen," I told her trying to coax her to confide in me.

"Anything?" she asked as I nodded my affirmation. She looked to my eyes, trying to gage my sincerity before looking back down to the work at her hands. "Well, the way I feel for Edward scares me… and when we get to spend time together, I am so happy. I feel at peace. When he's not with me, I feel like something is missing. I have never felt anything like this before and I've tried to stop it but it keeps happening. And when he kisses me or hold my hand I feel this electric shock going all through my body. And the scariest thing of all is that I just don't know if I will ever feel anything like that ever again. And then I think how will I ever settle for anything less than what I feel for Edward?" she said taking a shaky deep breath.

"You don't," I said quietly.

"I told him that I was going to go out on a date if someone asked me so I could see if this feeling can happen with any one or if it is just him. And if it is just him, I have a lot to consider," she said as I gave her a small, knowing smile. "If push comes to shove and I want Edward forever I think….well, I think that I would convert to be with him. All I have is Charlie and I would give him up before I could ever ask Edward to give up all of you."

I couldn't believe everything that she was saying. Part of me knew that Edward didn't want the simple life we shared, but at the same time, I had been praying for quite some time that I would not lose my son.

"I am glad we had this talk. Just remember, everything happens for a reason, even if we can't control it or like how it seems to be progressing. It will all work out for the best."

Bella gave me a tight-lipped smile as she finished up molding the bread into a loaf. I wish Edward would talk to me. Rather than feeling enlightened, I had more questions and uncertainties than ever.

It was clear what was in Edward's heart, if only I knew what was in his head.

Epov

Sleep was my best friend and I was surprised that I was able to sleep so well. I still felt tired, but I didn't care. I would go the next few days without sleep if that meant that I could see Bella every minute. I hated the thought of her getting to know other men, but at the same time I understood. I was hoping and praying that she wouldn't find the same feelings that we share for each other with someone else.

Bella and I had gotten so much done the day prior, it left little to be done today, This left ample time for my thoughts. I went back into the house around two o'clock and found my mother, Alice, and Bella cooking up a storm.

"Good afternoon, ladies," I said as I walked in and walked over to Bella. It was like had a pull straight toward her. "Why are you cooking so much?" I asked as I put my hand discreetly on Bella's lower back.

"Emmett and the family are coming over for dinner," my mother said as I tried to take a piece of corn bread that Bella was cutting. I laughed when she slapped my hand away. "If you are hungry eat a carrot," my mother teased.

"Would you do me a favor?" Bella asked me quietly.

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Can you go in my book bag? In the front zipper is my hair tie. Can you grab it for me?" she asked with the cutest smile. I nodded my head and headed to her room. Her notebook was on her bed so I flipped to the back of the book and wrote her a little note for her to find later before searching out her backpack.

"Here you go," I said returning to the kitchen and taking a seat next to her as she cut vegetables for the soup.

"Thanks," she said with a small smile. She began to gather up her hair and pile it on top of her head, never taking her eyes off of me. I soaked in every nuance: her calmness, the slight shyness and air of self-consciousness that colored her movements, the heat as our eyes met.

"Thanks for the help girls. Go on ahead and do as you'd like, head outside or up to your rooms. Whatever you want," my mother said with a smile.

"I'm going to the school yard," Alice said as she bolted from the kitchen.

"Tell Jasper I said hi," I yelled with a laugh.

"Be quiet Edward!" I heard Alice say as she went out the door.

"I don't know why you insist on antagonizing your sister," my mother said as I gave her and innocent smile. "Go find something to do. Both of you; go be kids," she said as we headed from the kitchen.

"Are you sure you don't need anymore help?" Bella asked. What was she doing? Here we were given the opportunity to spend some time together and she was questioning it?

"Go Bella, I've got dinner under control," my mother said as Bella headed to her room.

"So, how was your day?" I asked her as she lay on her bed.

"Long. How bout you?"

"Long," I said as I laughed and laid on her bed with her.

"Your mother talked with me today, about my feeling for you," she said with a studied air of nonchalance.

I propped myself up with my elbow. "What was said?"

"Not too much. She just made me feel… more confused."

"What are you confused about?"

"Edward, are you being serious? Are you telling me you aren't a little confused about what is going on between us?" she asked as I put my free hand on her stomach.

"Yeah, a little. But it will all work out in the end, I hope," I told her as she closed her eyes.

"Do you want to go outside?" I asked her as she opened her eyes once again. I could look at her all day and never get bored but I was caught off guard when she suddenly moved forward and kissed me. It was the first time that she had initiated a kiss and it was incredible.

"Sure," she said softly, pulling away from me. "Is it cold out?"

"Um, you may want your coat," I told her as she got up and put on her sweatshirt. Before she could stand up I wrapped my around her and pulled her back to the bed and gave her the best kiss that I had in me. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip and she smiled before allowing me to kiss her the way I wanted. I loved kissing her, there was no other feeling in this world that I loved the more. Her breath was sweet, her lips plump, her tongue soft, it was heaven.

I groaned quietly as she broke our kiss again.

"You are a very bad Amish boy," she teased as she stood.

I jumped up off the bed and put my arms around her waist and picked her up off the floor. "I'm already going to hell," I said as she laughed and kissed me quickly on the lips. "Let's go."

"Yeah, we better. You look like you could use some air," she continued to tease as she walked in front of me out of the house.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Whenever I was with Bella my mind went a mile a minute with things that I wanted to do with her. Was that normal? I pushed the door open for her to walk through and I watched as she sat on the porch swing that my father had made for my mother. We seemed to be in sync with one another as I sat next to her and our hands found one another at the same time. We didn't really talk to one another, it wasn't necessary, and I smiled when our fingers interlocked and she laid her head on my shoulder.

"Tired?" I asked her as I leaned my head on hers.

"No, just relaxing," she said dreamily before snapping her head up at the sound of an approaching car. I watched as she stood and walked to the porch steps. It was Chief Swan. I chuckled at her knowing what his car sounded like. She waved as he slowed and pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, Bells," Chief Swan greeted as he got out of the car.

"Come on," Bella said turning to me before she made her way down to her father. "Hey Dad. How'd you get off work so early?" she asked as we made our way to his car.

"I'm going out with Leah tonight," he said solemnly, if not matter-of-factly.

"Oh, cool. Hope you two have fun," she said very sincerely. Then she turned to glance at me with a beautiful smile on her face before saying, "Dad, I want you to meet Edward. Edward this is my dad, Charlie."

"It's nice to officially meet you Chief Swan," I said shaking his hand.

"You too, Edward. So Bells, you missing home yet?" he asked her and I stared at her, certain I was far more interested in her answer than her father was

.

"A little bit," she said, teasing her father.

"Well, when I was driving by and I saw you out here I just wanted to make sure everything was going okay. About what time Friday do you plan on comin' home?" he asked.

"I don't know, probably after dinner?" She said and I had some sense of relief. I couldn't even think about her leaving yet, the thought was far too overwhelming.

"You have plans that night?" he asked. All she did was shrug her shoulders.

"Think you might have any time for your old dad before you head out again?"

"Bonding time, Dad? Really?"

"Well, I was hoping you and I could have a talk, and I want Leah to be involved too," he said and I could see the tension in his face as he waited for Bella to answer.

"Whatever." I didn't think it was much of an answer, in-fact, I wasn't even sure what she meant, but I guess it would suffice seeing that the Chief gave her a small smile.

"Has Mom called?" she asked, effectively changing the subject. I looked into her profile as I tried to gage her emotions, knowing how hard she'd cried the last time that her mother was mentioned. The fact that she was even asking about her broke my heart in a small way.

"Um, yeah. She wanted to know why you haven't been using your money. I told her a little bit about what you've been up to. She wants you to call her when you get home." He scratched his head and looked away for a minute as he continued, "She's still in Florida; said something about her coming out to visit for the summer."

The lack of eye contact seemed to be contagious as Bella looked down at her feet. "Yeah, okay. I'll believe it when I see it," she said with a small, sad chuckle.

"Yeah, Kiddo, I know," he said as he hugged her awkwardly. My hands literally twitched wanting to hold her, to give her a real hug.

"Bella?" I heard my mother's voice behind her. Bella pulled away from her father and I caught her wiping a tear off her face. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt," my mother said.

"No, no, it's okay. What do you need?" Bella asked.

"What did you do with the corn bread?"

"It was on the table," Bella said as she looked at me.

"What? I only took one piece," I said as my mother now turned to me with a look of suspicion. "Fine, it is on the counter by the stove," I said as Bella punched my arms and my mother gave me a disapproving but playful scowl.

"Well, I best be going, Bells. See ya in a couple days," Chief Swan said as he kissed Bella's forehead.

"Bye, Dad."

"Chief Swan, it was good to see you," I said.

"You too Edward, and I guess I will probably be seeing you again?" he asked as I nodded, sending a quick glance in Bella's direction.

"Will you go and get Alice?" my mother asked as she walked back into the house and the Chief drove away.

I reached for Bella's hand as I pulled her along with me down the dirt road. "You okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine." she said, but the smile she gave me could not disguise the fact that she clearly wanted to say something else. She paused before adding, "It's just, I wish I didn't know when my mother planned on visiting. I try not to get my hopes up, but it's kinda hard not to. Anyway, it's just the same time every time she plans a visit."

"Well, I really don't know what to say," I said feeling lost.

"You don't have to say anything," she said before switching subjects. "You know what, I'm going to save some money for next summer. I'm not sure what we'll do, but if we want the world to be our oyster then we will definitely need some cash." I loved the way she said our and we, it sounded right. "I do know that one of the first things we'll be doing is buying you some new clothes," she teased with a laugh.

"You don't have to do that," I said embarrassed.

"I want to. I want you to have to the full experience," she said, her laughter changing into a gentle smile. With that we walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence, just holding hands.

By the time we returned home with Alice my father was home and already deep in discussions with Emmett. Bella and Alice ran into the house saying a quick hello to the men on their way. As I approached the house I overheard my father tell Emmett that he was going to make sure the barn was closed for the night.

"Edward," Emmett greeted as I sat next to him on the front steps.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked as he laughed at me. "What?"

"Nice language, looks like you are spending too much time with Bella," he said as I stared at him in frustration.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about; she is leaving in two days," I said.

"How do you feel about that?" he asked as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you really care or are you going to mock me?" I asked as he laughed at me again.

"You always talked to me before, so talk to me now."

"I don't like it…. I hate it actually. I wish she could stay," I said as I stared down at my hands, willing to look just about anywhere except at my bear of a brother. "I love that girl," I said as I waited for the mocking to begin.

"Why do you think you love her?" he asked in all seriousness.

"It has to be love. It's something that I've never felt before. When I am not with her I feel like a part of my heart has a hole in it. I have so many emotions going on right now that I don't know what to do. I feel jealous all the time. Every time she talks about her life I hate that I can't be with her. When she goes back home she is going to go out with other guys to see if what we have is real. I just can't stand the thought. I love everything about her. She is sweet, strong, smart, and she cares about people so much. She's wonderful, and I feel like I'm about to lose her," I said taking a much needed breath.

"Well, I can honestly say that I was not expecting you to say any of that. To me it sounds like you've fallen hard for this girl. But you really have to think about yourself right now, what's best for you," he said and I did understand what he was saying. "You aren't going to see her for a whole year and a lot can change. You have to be realistic about this. What are you going to do if she has a boyfriend next summer?"

I could feel the anger slowly bubble up inside of me at his words. "She won't," was all I could say between clenched teeth. "I love her, I mean I don't want her to…..I don't know what I'll do. I just have to pray that what I feel for her, she feel just as strongly for me," I said feeling defeated.

"I know I shouldn't ask this, but I know what goes on on the outside," he said as he lowered his voice. "Are you having intercourse with her?"

"No," I blurted out as I was overtaken by my own blush. I could hear Emmett let out a deep, relieved sigh. "But I want to," I added, mostly under my breath.

Emmett gave a soft, knowing chuckle. "Just make sure you know what you are doing. This could turn out bad, and I just want you to know that if you need to, you can talk to me. I won't tell mother or father anything that we talk about." I took a deep breath and nodded my head to acknowledge his offer. "Well, I'm hungry. Let's go see if dinner is done," he said as he patted me on the back and we walked into the house.

I heard Bella's laughter before I even saw her. She was playing with Paul, Emmett's middle son. He's two and looks identical to Emmett. Alice was reading to Kate, who's three. She has Rosalie's golden hair and Emmett's brown eyes. As Emmett headed towards the back to see if Father needed any help Rosalie asked if I would take Sam while she set the table for supper. I smiled down at my five-month old nephew. He always makes me laugh because he has the biggest, baldest head with giant, blue, saucer eyes, both which look totally out of proportion to his tiny, little body. I took Sam and walked into the living room with the girls and sat on the floor next to Bella. She and Paul were building towers with blocks my father had made when Kate was born.

"Hello Kate," I said as she scowled at me. "What?" I asked her.

"It's not polite to interrupt when someone is reading," she said as Bella and Alice giggled at her bawdy attitude.

"You just got owned by a three year old. That is priceless," Bella said as she laughed harder. Did she just say I got owned? What does that mean? I would just to try and remember later.

"What are you building?" I asked Paul as he knocked down the tower again.

"A towa and den I knock it down!" Paul said with all the excitement that only a two year old could muster.

"Good job, Buddy!" Bella said to Paul as he started to build the blocks back up. Sam grabbed a block and was waving it in the air. "Awesome, give me five!" Bella said as she stuck her hand out palm up and Paul just looked at her.

"When someone says that, you do this," I said as I tapped Bella's palm with my own.

"Oooooo," Paul sang as he slapped Bella's palm.

"Oh, wow, you've got a good arm on you," she said as I chuckled at her because she was rubbing her palm up and down her pants. "Unckee! Bill wi me," Paul demanded. Bella took Samuel from me but stayed close. I loved watching her interact with the kids. She had already deciphered Paul's primitive speech and had a protégé in Kate. She was a natural, I was sure she would be a great mother. That was just one more thing to add to the list of the reasons that I loved her. I couldn't help but watch her as she played patty-cake and peak-a-boo. She was so beautiful.

I guess I wasn't showing Paul enough attention because before I could even stop him he had jumped on me. I groaned and earned a laugh from Paul and a giggle from Bella. This was how it was growing up with Emmett, he would just jump on me when I wasn't expecting it. Bella moved away from the two of us and sat next to Alice's feet. Kate jumped off Alice and ran over to me and tried to jump up and down on my stomach. Alice and Bella did nothing but encouraged the kids in their attack.

"Okay, give me a break. You two are brutal!" I said trying to catch my breath. Kate wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my check. I watched as Bella watched me play with the kids and when I smiled at her I could see the love in her eyes.

Our gaze was broken by Rosalie announcing dinner. Alice took Sam and I helped Bella up, keeping her hand in mine until we were in front of any one. As we sat at the table for our dinner prayer, I opened my eyes to peek at Bella, curious as to what she did while the rest of the family prayed. She sat serenely with her hands folded delicately in her lap. She was looking around the table at every one, smiling at the kids as her gaze gently passed over their sweet faces in prayer. As she continued to look around the table she inevitably caught me staring at her and she shook her head. I winked at her as we both suppressed our giggles at being caught.

"Grandpa, can I ask you something?" Kate asked as the blessing finished.

"Of course," My father said with a patient smile on his face.

"Why was uncle Edward winking at Bella while we were praying?" Kate asked as I chocked on my bread and Bella's blush turned her crimson

.

"I don't know. Edward, were you winking at Bella?" he asked me.

As I had no clue what to say, I looked at Bella who quickly looked away from me. "Um….Bells, are you going to help me out here?" I asked her hoping that calling her Bells would sweeten her up and she would have something witty to say.

"Nope," she said, popping the "P" while still avoiding my stare.

"Why didn't you pray?" Kate innocently asked Bella.

"I don't know. I've never really prayed before. Not unless I really wanted something to happen," she said.

"Do you get what you want?" she asked.

"Hmm, not always. Sometimes I don't get what I want, no matter how hard I pray for it," she said and I knew that was directed toward her mother, but part of me knew that some of it was now directed towards me.

"Maybe because you don't pray everyday," Kate rationalized to Bella.

"You got a point there Short-stuff, maybe I will start," Bella said with a small smile, apparently appeasing Kate in the process.

After dinner Bella and I took Paul and Kate outside and played tag with them. At some point Paul caught Bella off guard and knocked her off her feet. Kate wasted no time at all to join Paul on top of her and I was no fool not to join.

I knelt down on the ground by them and said, "How 'bout we see if Bella likes to be tickled?" The kids screamed in happy agreement as the three of us attacked Bella with our "tickle fingers." She was laughing so hard it left her fighting for breath. We sat back on our heels staring at Bella triumphantly as we allowed her to catch her breath as her laughter slowly subsided.

"I think (breath, breath), we should see if Uncle Edward is ticklish!" she said as Paul jumped on me. I didn't think I was all that ticklish until I could feel Bella's hand on my waist, my whole body broke out in cold chills. I put my arms around all three of them and rolled them over on to the ground. Paul was laughing so had that he gave himself the hiccups, Bella was coughing, and Kate was afraid she might pee.

"That was so much fun. Will you play with us on Sunday after church?" Kate asked Bella.

"I wish I could Honey, but I won't be at church on Sunday. I have to go home on Friday," she said as Kate's 1000 watt smile diminished and she grew quite.

"You can just stay here, I can ask Grandma," Kate said as I smiled sadly.

"Kate, let me tell you something," Bella started to say as she put Kate in her lap. Paul sat in my lap and I was as close to Bella as I could get. "I'm not Amish. I am here because Grandpa let me so I could do a project for school. I have to go back to my family in my world."

"But mother said that you and Edward love each other, so that means you have to stay," Kate said interrupting.

Bella and I both stared at each other. "It's….it's not that easy. I'm only fifteen. I have to go and live with my dad until I am done with school." Bella said and I could see that she was sad.

"So when you are done with school you are going to come back?" Kate asked again earnestly.

"Well, a lot can happen in a few years. You never know what is going to happen, but I am sure that I will see you again, and I know, I know, that I will never forget you," she said. There was a mixture of hope and finality to her words leaving me unsure with what to think. The only thing I knew is that Friday was going to be here far too quickly, and that I was desperately in love with a girl that I wouldn't be able to see for a very long time.

I was shaken from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps on the front porch as Emmett was preparing the family to head out.

"I really like Bella!" Kate said as she ran to Alice.

"Oh yeah? Well for some reason she has that affect on our family," Alice said as Bella looked to the ground with a small smile on her face.

"Bella, it was nice to meet you," Rosalie said as she hugged her. "Maybe we will see each other again," she said as Bella pulled away from the hug.

"Me too, it was great to meet all of you," Bella said as she hugged and kissed the kids. Before Emmett got into the front of their buggy he shook Bella's hand, giving me a quick head nod over her shoulder.

The entire process of saying goodbye hit far too close to home as a reminder of things to come, leaving me saddened. As the rest of my family returned to the living room I followed Bella quietly up the steps in a fog of my own emotions.

"Your niece and nephew crack me up. They are so cute," she said as she lounged on the bed.

"They really like you," I said softly. "You were very good with them."

"They're cool little kids. Other people's kids are great: you play, you giggle, have fun, then send them home. I think I would go a little crazy if it was an every day thing."

"You don't think you would want kids?" I asked, surprised and confused.

The smile began to slip from her face as she saw my expression, "I have no clue, right now, no. And the truth is, I don't know if I ever will, but who knows what will happen in the next ten years," she said and I started to think about how old that seemed to be to have kids.

"Ten years, really? Why so late?"

"For me that wouldn't be that late in life. I'll be twenty-five, I'll be done with college, and hopefully, I will have a job. So yeah, ten years would be the earliest for me." I really didn't know what to say. "Why are you so quite all of a sudden?" she asked, her voice sounding hushed and worried.

"I don't know, it's one of those things that makes us so different, I guess. Emmett is twenty-one and just had his third child. By the time he is twenty-five he will probably have two more," I told her as her jaw dropped.

"I couldn't imagine. If I ever have kids, at the most I am going to have two, and that's just because I didn't have any siblings growing up. How old were Emmett and Rosalie when they got married?"

"They were both seventeen."

"Wow. That is so young," she said with a shake of her head.

We spent the next while quietly in our own thoughts, just comfortable in each other's presence. But while my body seemed calm, my mind was racing with the new knowledge I had gained about Bella and what it would mean for a life together with her.

I was beginning to realize that even though I knew that I loved Bella, there was so much more that I didn't know about her and those thoughts made me uneasy.

I rolled over to face her, breaking the silence, "I love you," I said quietly, but the desperation in the words were still evident even to me.

"I love you, too."

But before she could say anything else, my mouth was on hers. I needed to stop thinking, stop worrying, stop reeling about all that might happen in the future. I just wanted to embrace what I knew, what I was sure about, and right now that was that I loved Bella. That I needed Bella.

My mouth ravished hers. Hungry, desperate kisses forcing her to recognize the depth of my emotions. Her hands were in my hair and on my neck. I loved the way her hands felt on my skin. My hands roamed in kind, exploring her body, wanting to claim her body as my own.

I rubbed the side of her legs, up her hip and across her torso. I felt her shirt ride up exposing the soft skin of her stomach along the way. Unable to stop myself, my hands continued their journey as my mouth tugged and nipped at her lips, increasing their pressure and the very neediness of each kiss. My thumb went over her breast and I could feel her nipple harden as she gasped.

"Edward?"

Someone's voice, someone who was definitely not Bella, was calling my name and my body froze. Oh my.....

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please review and let me know what you think.

I am working on chapter ten so I hope to have that up in a week or so...

for those of you who don't know I am getting a book published and I have been working on that so as I finish 'what changed' up I hope to have quicker posts. As of right now that book will be sold online in early june!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	10. Chapter 11

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is chapter 10..... sorry for the delay I have been working on proof reading my book What Changed and it will be for sale with in the next month. The story is not going to be for everyone. It is about domestic violence, so again it will not be for everyone. But if you buy it I hope that you enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!

**One more thing.... no one in this world is perfect so there will be some mistakes if this bothers you please do not read my stories!**

I own nothing......

* * *

EPOV  
"Edward?" oh my goodness, my heart sank.

"Alice what are you doing? Is something wrong?" I asked her trying to get my heart to stop racing.

"Can I hang out with you guys for a little bit?" she asked timidly as Bella sat up. I wanted to groan and tell Alice to leave but I just couldn't. I wasn't the only one that was going to miss Bella.

"Sure, come sit," Bella said bringing her knees to her chest. I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to my chest.

Alice walked over to the end of the bed, waiting awkwardly to say what was on her mind. "Do you think that if you are down by the creek we could come hang out with you?" she finally asked.

I had never thought of that possibility. Alice was a genius.

"I don't want you guys to get in trouble," Bella said with concern.

"Don't worry about us," I said knowing that if I heard her and her friends at the creek I wouldn't be able to stay away.

"As long as it doesn't cause you trouble, then I would love to see you both," Bella said with a bright smile.

"Great," Alice responded, echoing Bella's big grin. "I'll see you in the morning," Alice said quietly as she exited the room.

I was being very selfish; I was thrilled that Alice didn't stay.

I felt Bella take a deep breath and lay her head on my chest as I snuggled us so that we were relining against her pillows once again. Nothing was said between us. It seemed that we were both content with the silence. As long as we were together no words needed to be spoken. But tomorrow was our last night together; I could feel my heart breaking with just the thought of her not being with me.

"I love you Bella." I said as I kissed her hair. She didn't answer me; she had fallen asleep. I gently released my arms from around her and kissed her forehead one more time before I left.

"I love you," she mumbled in her sleep. All I could do was smile as I went to my room. A day in a half was all I had left. What was I going to do without her?

BPOV  
The conversation that I had with Mrs. Cullen was something I had not been expecting. I knew I had said too much, but she didn't say anything when I said that Edward and I had kissed. I was pretty sure that the Amish weren't allowed to go around making out. And while I totally subscribed to the philosophy of, "everything happens for a reason," was this really suppose to happen to me? Could I become Amish? Did I really love Edward that much?

Edward was special there was no doubt about that. He was the first guy to give me butterflies, and I loved that feeling. I knew that I was in love with Edward; I had to be. He made me happy, truly happy, and if I didn't find that feeling with anyone else I would do anything to be with him. But, I wanted to be sure.

I knew in the Amish world that sixteen was the age when teenagers transitioned to start their adult life. Was I really ready for that? When Emmett and Rosalie came for dinner, the idea that they were twenty-one and had three children, it just blew my mind. I really had a lot to think about and knowing that I had a year to think it though gave me some small piece of mind.

Paul and Kate: too freaking cute. I fell in love with them. Some day I would love to have a big family like the Cullen's with so much love.

The family dinner alone was amazing. I had the biggest smile on my face when it came to watching the family say the blessing. I would have to say nothing was cuter then seeing Paul and Kate fold their hands and pray. I almost choked on my drink when Kate called Edward out. It was beyond priceless. Kate seemed to be very feisty, I would love to see her again in a few years and see how she would act.

My presumption of the Amish before I came here was that men ruled all things, and that women and children do as they are told, when they are told. I really didn't think that there would be the deep love between a husband and a wife, the kind that I saw with Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. They really loved one another, you could see it every glance, in every innocent touch.

I also didn't think that an Amish father was involved with rearing the children, and that was completely false as well. Mr. Cullen spoke to all of the children like any other father. I watched as Emmett disciplined Paul for not listening and refusing to eat his food. Their life was so different, but so similar to the outside world, my world. And Edward was so cute playing with his niece and nephew. I think he would be a very playful father. Yes, there was no doubt in my mind that he would be a great father.

I would love to be the mother of his children. But at the same time, there are some things that I didn't know if I could give up. Some of them are superficial. I really didn't know how comfortable I would be never shaving again. I mean to never shave ANYTHING ever again, honestly, that creeped me out a lot. And always having to wear dresses and never being able to wear jeans, that just wasn't "me."

On the other hand, Edward was a pretty big reward for what amounts to some small sacrifices. I don't think I will ever see some one as beautiful as him. His messy hair, God, I love his hair, I want to run my fingers through it and just pull it. In all honesty his hair was perfect, but what would a few years hold? And as was the custom for the Amish, he would also grow a beard. Ugh, I really don't think I would like that.

I knew I was being a superficial, but this was how I felt.

I was sad that my week had gone so quickly. I woke up on Thursday feeling both sad and happy, and above all, confused. I hated being confused. I really didn't want to go home and play happy family with Charlie and Leah. I knew that Charlie wanted to have a talk with me and involve her. But I mean, come on, I just found out about her, how was I suppose to treat her? Maybe she and I could be friends, maybe. I would be lying if I wasn't a little bit curious to find out they had to say to me. I was truly going to try to be mature about the whole thing, but at the same time I knew that my "spoiled brat syndrome" would probably be rearing it's ugly head.

Then there was my mother.

After seeing what an outstanding mother Mrs. Cullen is it makes me hate my mother that much more. Why couldn't Renee be a real mother. Regardless of how anything worked out, Mrs. Cullen would always be the mother I never had. I just hoped that I would get to see the Cullens again.

It was all too much to take in and think about. It was overwhelming.

Thursday was the busiest day of the entire week. We washed every piece of bedding in the entire house, cleaned over what already appeared to be clean, and still had to make dinner. When Mrs. Cullen first told me about the day I didn't think that it was going to be a big deal. I was wrong.

I now hated dusting and I missed my washing machine and dryer more than ever. My arms hurt from washing the sheets and blankets, I even broke out in a sweat. By the time dinner came about I was exhausted.

"Long day Bella?" Mr. Cullen asked as he started to eat.

"Yes Sir," I said as I pushed my food around on my plate only taking a bite once and a while.

"With tomorrow being your last day with us, it will be a day off for you. I want you to go through all of your notes and make sure that you have asked all the questions that needed answers," he said as I smiled, knowing that I didn't have to do any more manual labor. I knew that I had to go through my notes and see what I had left to ask. Most of my questions were answered just by living the life. "Can you think of anything that you need to ask me?" he asked as I drew a blank.

"I don't really know at this moment," I told him with a shrug.

"When is your father expecting you home?" he asked and I felt Edward stiffen next to me.

"After supper."

"Good, then that will give you the day to finish your research," he said with an approving nod.

"Oh, I do have a question. Is it possible to take some pictures?" I asked as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen made eye contact.

"I suppose that would be allowable. You just can't take pictures of us," he said matter-of-factly.

"That's a sin for you-all, right?" I asked, having little knowledge of this.

"Yes, it is not appropriate to pose for a photograph. It goes against the second commandment," Mr. Cullen said as I shook my head. I was hoping for more of an explanation but he just gave me what I already knew. I would have google it later.

Dinner finished in quiet after that. We cleaned in silence. As I went about my chores I realized that I couldn't wait to blare my music when I get home. I always loved the quiet, but now it was a little overwhelming.

When the cleaning was done I went to my room. I pulled out my camera. I was hoping that maybe I would get a couple pictures of Edward but I would never ask him to go against his family's beliefs. Would it be a sin if they didn't know that I took a picture, if he wasn't posing?

I wasn't alone for long. Edward came into my room and lounged on my bed.

"Busy day," he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"It really was," I agreed.

I had my notebook out looking at all the question that I had recorded before I came to the Cullens. "Edward, are there still arranged marriages in the Amish world?" I asked remembering that I had read that somewhere.

"There use to be. Not so much anymore. Um... I think that if someone wasn't married and really didn't have intention, their father would probably intervene. But for the most part there is always someone for everyone," he explained. It made sense.

"Do you really think that taking a picture is a sin? Ya know, do you really think that you would go to hell?" I asked wanting to know his opinion.

"Honestly, I don't know anymore," he said taking my hand before he continued. "After meeting you and seeing your room," he starts to whisper, "seeing all of the pictures of you and your friends, I'm starting to second guess what I have been taught."

"I want a picture of you, of us," he whispered, staring into my eyes. I smile. What else was there for me to do? What do you say to that?  
I looked over to my door and I couldn't see any one. I grabbed my camera and put the batteries in and then sat on Edward's lap. Putting my arm around his shoulder, I kissed his cheek and told him to smile. I held the camera up and took a picture. I showed him the picture and his face broke out into a huge smile.

"You won't go to hell, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard," I said into his ear as he hugged me close to his body.

"I love you," I said into his neck. His arms tighten around me and I thought that I might cry. We didn't talk again until everyone went to bed.

"Can we take a couple more pictures?" he asked me quietly.

I gave him a small smile in return to let him know of my approval. We had a lantern by the bed so there was just enough light. I picked up the camera and he smiled and made faces as I snapped the pictures. We took pictures of us together, we even took a picture of us kissing, that was my favorite picture.

"Is there any way I can get one of these?" he asked. "I just need one," he said as I nodded my head yes, knowing one way or the other I would get him a picture.

"I promise," I said as he kissed me. "I'm going to miss this, I'm going to miss you," I said as we kissed again. He was the best thing to happen to me. I was really starting to think that there was no one else out there for me.

"I don't want you to see anyone else. Please, I can't stand it. Please wait for me," he quietly pleaded as he held my eyes with his gaze.

I didn't know what to say.

"Edward, we already talked about this."

"I know, but….. I don't want you to see if there is someone else out there. What if there is?" he asked and I could hear the desperation and anger in his voice. "I am in love with you, isn't that enough?"

I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as I tried to respond. "Your mother asked me if I believed in the saying "everything happens for a reason." I do believe that. I believe that we were meant to meet. We need to just see what happens. If you are "it" for me I will become Amish."

"How do you know that is what I want?" he said interrupting me.

"What do you mean? You don't want me in your family?" I asked again feeling confused.

"What if I don't want the Amish life?"

"How can you say that?"

"Do you not listen to me when I speak?" he asked through clenched teeth. "How can I stay with a religion if I don't fully believe in it anymore?"

"But you do."

"I have been second guessing myself this whole week. I mean, if I am being totally honest, probably longer. You have opened my eyes to a whole new world and I want to make the right decision," he said as my tears came.

I brought my knees to my chest and cried into my lap. "Bella, don't cry. There is nothing to cry over. Like you said we just have to see how this turns out. Okay? Let's do this: I don't want you to go out of your way to find someone else. But if they come to you, which I am sure they will, I … I will be fine with you seeing them," he said as I looked up from my knees.

"I don't really want to see other people. I just want to make sure that this is…real," I said waving my hand between the two of us. "I need to be a hundred percent sure. Right now I am about eighty percent," I said as he wiped my tears away.

"Okay," he said looking at me. "I love you." He said it with such conviction.

"I love you." I tried to give him a small smile as we kissed each other and then laid down. Not another word was spoken and I fell asleep.

I don't know when he left my room.

I understood how he felt about second-guessing his life. I just had to hope that he wouldn't find my world appealing. He couldn't leave his family, he just couldn't.

Friday morning...... My emotions are all over the place.

I woke before Alice; I just couldn't sleep anymore. Part of me wanted to just get the day over with, but at the same time, I wanted it to last as long as it could. Confusing right?

"Oh, you're awake," Alice said in her typical chipper tone.

"Yeah, first time for everything," I said, putting on my "happy face."

"Are you ready to go home?" she asked as she sat on my bed.

"Honestly, I don't really know," I said trying to smile.

"Bella, where do you think you will be in three years?"

Okay, not what I was expecting. I rubbed my palms over my face, "Probably in my first year of college, I guess," I told her, not really knowing where I would be.

"Would you come home during the summers?"

"I don't know. I don't know where I'm going to be applying. There's a lot of unanswered questions still up in the air. Alice, why so many questions?"

"How would I get a hold of you? You know, when I go on Rumspringa?" she asked as I smiled at her.

"Just find my dad. He will always know how to get a hold of me," I told her as she smiled brightly.

"I'm going to miss you waking me up," I told her as I put my arm around shoulder and we put our heads together.

"You don't ever seem happy in the mornings."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her observation. "True. I'm not a morning person, but I am still going to miss you," I told her as she hugged me.

"Ya know what? We will see each other again, I can feel it," she said as she left my room shutting the door so I could get dressed for the day. When I was finished I opened the door to find Edward waiting for me.

"Hey," I said with a smile.

"Good morning," he said softly. "I'm going to have to do my chores today. Will you come and hang out with me later?" he asked as I nodded my head and headed for the kitchen.

As breakfast ended I realized I really didn't have any questions that needed to be asked. I knew I wanted to take pictures, and just visit with the family I had grown to love.

It was comforting that as Mrs. Cullen didn't say anything about me leaving as Edward and his father headed out to work. I think she knew that I really didn't want to talk about it. Instead, she told me more about her life and her roll in the family. The way she was talking to me made it seem more like she was trying to help me make an informed decision about my life than assist with my research for school.

"Women are submissive, to an extent," she told me as she sat across the table from me. "We can speak our minds, but ultimately we really don't have any say in decision making. Carlisle will ask me what I think, but he has the final say. Once a decision is made we never question it."

As she spoke I finally began to come up with questions that I wanted answers to.

"Do you fight with him?" I asked timidly, knowing that I fight with my dad all the time.

"Not really. Like I said, there is no questioning a man. He has final say."

"Do you want to fight about things sometimes?"

"Yes and no. Carlisle and I talk a lot at night before we go to bed, that's when we talk about the things that children don't need to be concerned in," she told me as I nodded my head in understanding. I knew that I would not like having a voice in decision making for my life and that of my family. I could be very stubborn.

"Bella, just because Amish women do not have power, does not mean that we don't have strength. And it does not mean that we don't have influence. There are many ways to voice your opinions in a marriage," she said knowingly.

That was something I would need to think about. I felt for certain there was something I should be understanding in her comments, but I wasn't sure if I was getting the nuance of her statements. Definitely something to think about.

"I'm going to go and take some pictures, do you need any help with lunch?" I asked before I left the kitchen.

"No, you go ahead. I think I am going to just heat up some soup for lunch. You go and finish your project," she said as I headed out of the kitchen. I went to put on my hoodie before heading outside with my camera.

I took a couple pictures of the house and the barn. I also took a picture of the horse that was in the field behind the barn and I took a picture of the buggy. I opened the barn and snapped a picture of Edward carrying a bale of hay.

"Still taking pictures I see," he said as I walked to him throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him.

"I was missing you," he said as I kissed his lips.

"I missed you too," I told him as he held me to his chest. "Lunch should be done, you hungry?" I asked him as he held me close.

"Yeah, I could eat," he said kissing my temple. "Just let me finish up here and then I should be done for the day," he said as he released me from the hug.

"Would you walk me down to the school yard so I can take some pictures?" I asked as he moved more hay.

"Of course," he said as I smiled at him and walked back to the house.

"Hi Bella," Alice called as she walked up the drive coming home from school. "What's that?" she asked pointing to the camera.

"Oh, I was just taking pictures," I told her.

"May I see?"

"Sure." I turned on the camera and found the pictures that I had just taken, passing the pictures that Edward and I had taken the previous night.

"Oh, wow. This is so cool," she said with a smile.

We made our way into the house and I could smell the soup that we were having for lunch. As we joined Edward and Mrs. Cullen around the table, it was the first time that I closed my eyes and prayed. I didn't know exactly what I believed in, but I did ask whoever listens to watch over the Cullens and that I was thankful for having this time with them.

When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Edward's green eyes sparkling with happiness. I don't think I will ever understand what it meant to him to see me praying. There was pride in his eyes that filled me with such warmth.

After lunch Edward and I walked hand and hand to the schoolyard, Alice stayed behind to help Mrs. Cullen with dinner. Not a word was spoken until we walked to the meadow after I had all my pictures. We lay in the grass as close to one another as we could get, the sun so warm our faces.

Edward reached into my hoodie pocket, pulled out my camera, and started to take pictures of us the way I had showed him the previous night. The afternoon was so carefree and fun. I would have to say that Edward's laugh was my favorite sound. His voice was so smooth and I could listen to him talk all day. His laughter was musical. I was going to miss him something furious.

We headed back to the house for dinner after the most amazing afternoon of my life. Edward was the best companion that I could ever ask for.

Dinner, I would have to say, was the best that I had had here. Instead of the traditional silence, we laughed and talked about the week that we all had had. Mr. Cullen even told us to go around the table and say the one thing that we all learned through out the week.

"I learned that not judging people is definitely the best life lesson I could ever learn," Alice said as I saw Mr. Cullen's face beam with pride.

"I learned that as long as you raise a child right, no matter the religion, they will have good heart," Mrs. Cullen said as I smiled at her.

"I learned a lot," Edward said, not looking at anyone. I wanted to comfort him but I didn't know how in front of his parents.

"Well," Mr. Cullen said as he cleared his throat. "First I want to say that I have sinned and I ask you Bella for your forgiveness," he said as I looked to him in confusion as well as his family. "When you first approached us, asking permission to learn more about us, I was very against it. With what I have seen of teenagers in the outside world, I didn't want that in my home. After speaking to your father, he ensured me that you were a normal teen, but yet you were different. And he was right. I thought that you might make a mockery of our life and I thought that you might cause trouble for my family. And for that I ask your forgiveness," he said staring right into my eyes. "I would like to thank you for spending the week with us," he said as I stared at him with a gaping mouth.

"Um.... yeah of course. I forgive you, "I mumbles awkwardly. "But in all honesty, there is nothing to forgive. And I am very grateful for you allowing me to spend the week here."

"We have something for you," Mr. Cullen said as we started to clear the table. I looked to Edward who gave me a smile and I knew he knew about this.

"Leave the dishes Bells," Edward said as we all walked into the living room.

"We wanted to give you something to remember us by and we know that you like to read, so, here you go," Mr. Cullen said as Edward held up a homemade wooden bookshelf.

I couldn't respond with the huge lump in my throat. Knowing that I had to say goodbye, and with the present that they had given me brought all my emotions to the surface and the tears spilled over.

I wanted to say thank you, but I couldn't find my voice. I didn't want the Cullen family to see me breakdown so I quickly pulled myself together. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

"Thank you so much. I love it. You really didn't have to," I said quietly. I tried to smile, looking at each the loving people that I considered to be extend family.

Alice was crying and I could tell she was trying not to. Mrs. Cullen had tears threatening to spill over as well but a smile across her face. Mr. Cullen had a bright smile on his face and it was the first time that I had seen him look genuinely happy.

But it was Edward's face that broke my heart and I almost started to cry again. I could tell that he was trying to hide his emotions. His face looked pained and his eyes had tears in them.

"I know the perfect place for it," I said as I smiled.

"Well, if you have all of your things together, Edward can bring you home. I'm sure your father is waiting for your return," Mr. Cullen said as my smile faded.

"That's very nice of you, but I can walk," I said as Edward spoke for the first time.

"I want to Bella," he said in a strained voice. All I could do was nod as he left the house to get the buggy ready. Mr. Cullen walked out behind Edward.

"Well Bella, I have to say that it has been an honor to meet you and I pray to see you again," Mrs. Cullen said as I threw my arms around her and hugged her. I heard her sniffle and my tears came back. I wanted to be able to see her whenever I wanted and it broke me knowing that I couldn't.

"Bella, I'm going to miss you," Alice said as she hugged me. "I can't wait to see you again," she said as I hugged her tighter.

"Just remember that Charlie will always know how to get a hold of me," I told her as she smiled through her tears.

I picked up my bag and we headed for the door. Edward was waiting with his father by the buggy. I was still crying but the tears were intermittent, I was fine one minute and then some tears would fall the next.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay," Mr. Cullen said sincerely as he extended his hand to me.

"I did… very much. Thank you for letting me have this opportunity," I said with a broken voice shaking his hand.

"I would have to say it was a learning experience for all of us," he said.

I didn't know what else to say, so I said nothing. As I climbed into the buggy I took a last look at the house and barn before I brought my eyes back to the Cullens. I would miss them so much. I felt the jostle of Edward getting into the driver's seat as I turned and waved good bye to the family that I wanted as my own.

Tears rolled down my face as we made our way down the drive way. I was hoping I wasn't saying good bye, I was hoping that I was saying, "until later." I looked to Edward as a new wave of tears fell. How was I going to live without seeing Edward every day? How was I going to make it, until later?

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There you have it next chapter is going to Edwards pov and Bella talk with Charlie and Leah

Huge thanks to my beta chubbypoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please review I love them they keep me typing!!!!!


	11. Chapter 12

MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE TO BE ORDERED

BOOK NAME: WHAT CHANGED

AUTHOR NAME: ELAINA RYAN

MY WEBSITE: ERYANWHATCHANGED (DOT) COM

WHERE TO ORDER

barnesandnoble(dot)com

amazon(dot)com

exibris(dot)com

this book may not be for every one it is about domestic violence and the emotional state of the female. the book is funny, lots of drama, lemons, and it is basically and emotional roller coaster

if any of you order the book please let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a million thanks to any of you that buy a copy!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 13

Sorry for the delay. My beta has not gotten back to me and I haven't heard anything from her. There will probably be some mistakes so please don't review and tell me about all my mistakes I hate it. Anyways if my beta gets back to me I will repost this chapter. One last thing I have chapter 12 done so if she doesn't get back to me this week I will post chapter 12 this week, you all deserve it. Thanks for sticking with me!!!!!  
I own nothing

her you go awc1 thanks for the message!

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EPOV

My father helped me get the horse and buggy ready. I knew he wanted me to talk to him but I couldn't talk literally. The lump in my throat felt like it was choking me. I knew I was going to cry I just wanted to be out of sight of my family.

"Everything happens for a reason." My father said as he patted me on the back. All I could do was nod my head in understanding. After the final good byes were said we headed down the drive way. I heard Bella sniffling as we rode.

"Come here." I said to her as I took both reins in one hand and I put my other arm around her shoulders as she moved as close to me as she could. She buried her face in my shirt and cried. I need both hands steer the buggy so I couldn't comfort her the way I wanted to. As her house came into view I was happy to see that Chief Swan wasn't home. As we stopped it only took me a second to wrap my arms around her. Her arms were around my waist and she hugged me as tight as she could.

"I hate this." I said as my tears came. She picked her head up to look at me and I had to smile when she wiped my tears away. "I love you." I said as I softly kissed her lips.

"You say it like we are never going to see each other ever again." She said as more tears came from her eyes.

"We will see each other." I said as she smiled.

"I hope so."

"I know so." I said as I tried to hold off my tears and comfort my love. "If we don't see each other often, then I want you to write to me and tell me how you are and what you are up to. Okay?"

"I can do that." She said as she smiled. I put my hands on each side of her face and kissed her. It was a needy but passionate kiss. I wanted to make it last forever. "Do you have a minute?" She asked as she broke our kiss. I nodded my head yes and leaned in for more kisses. "I have an idea." She said as she jumped out of the buggy and ran into the house with her bag and shelf.

I sat back in the driver seat and waited. She was taking forever. I wasn't ready for her to leave my side. I wiped lingering tears that fell from my eyes away. I couldn't get rid of the crying feeling. It felt as if my heart was breaking. A part of me felt that I wasn't going to see her again. I wasn't stupid and I knew that a lot could happen in a year and I knew that she could forget about me. I would pray every night that she wouldn't. I was brought out of thought as Bella came out of the house. I climbed down from the buggy and she walked up to me with something behind her back.

"This is for you, so you won't forget about me." She said with a smile and handed me two pictures. More tears fell from my eyes. She was looking at me in one of them and the other was the first pictures that we took together. We both had wide smiles and it was beautiful. That was when I came to the conclusion that photographs were not a sin. How could they be?

"I love them, thank you. I love you." I said as I set them down and hugged her. She gripped the back of my shirt and I didn't want her to let me go. I hid my face in the crook of her neck as I cried. Why did things have to be this way? Why couldn't I be English or her be Amish?

"I love you too." She said as she pulled away a little to look at me in the eyes. "I don't think I will every love someone else the way I love you." She said as she took a sharp breath trying to control her cries.

"I feels the same." I told her as I kissed her. I could feel her tears on my face and I was sure that she could feel mine. Before we pulled away from each other I sucked on her bottom lip and she giggled. "I'll see you soon." I told her as she nodded and wiped her tears away, I did the same.

"I can't wait." She said with a smile.

"I don't want to, but I have to get back." I said as I pulled her in for one more hug and one more kiss. I don't think I would ever get enough of her. "I love you always." I said as we pulled away form each other.

"I love you." She said as she hung onto my hand as I climb back into the buggy. I saw her look past me and I could hear a car approaching, I figured it was her father. "I will try to be a the creek every Friday I will see you soon I love you." She said as I smiled at her and took a deep breath.

"I love you Bella." I said as she let go of my hand and I tucked the pictures into my shirt. Without another word I made my way back home. Just as I started down the drive way Chief Swan pulled in and waved as I made my way past him. I looked back at Bella and she waved and then wiped more tears away. Even if I got to see her with in the next week, it was going to be the longest week of my life. This was going to be the longest year of my entire life.

I loved her more than I thought possible. I was going to miss her more than anything. I didn't want to dwell on the sad so I focused on the happy. I thought of all the things that we could do when I came to stay with her. I chuckled at myself thinking that Chief Swan was probably going to dislike me by the end of my stay. One reason being that I was never going to be able to keep my hands off his daughter and another reason would be that I may not leave......

BPOV

UGH, that was the hardest thing I had done in a while. On the other hand who would of thought that I would of fell in love with an Amish man all because of a school project. I saw my father get out of his car and make is way towards me. His girlfriend got out of the car and look at my father with nothing but love in her eyes and all I could do was roll my eyes. I really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Bells I'm so glad you are home." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. "Did you already eat?" He asked as he released me from the hug.

"Yeah dad I ate. Um I'm going to go take a shower can you give me a little while before we talk?" I asked trying not to sound to sad, the last thing I wanted was for him to ask me a thousand of questions.

"Yeah sure we will be in the living room when you are all done. Why have you been crying?" He asked.

"I'm sad dad. I'll be down in a little while." I said as I turned and walked into the house.

As I stepped into my room I was happy to be home. I turned on my radio to my favorite station and smiled. I heard Linkin Park givin up and I started to jump around and sing at the top of my lungs. It felt so good. I danced my way to my bed and emptied my bag. I put all of my clothes into the hamper and I noticed that my cell fell onto the bed. I turned it on and it started to go crazy with text message and voicemails. I think the last time I turned it on was my first day at the Cullen's. I decide to take care of my phone calls later.

I found a clean pair of pajamas and headed for the shower. There is nothing like a nice hot shower. I truly missed taking showers. The Cullen's didn't have a shower. I had to wash my hair in a sink and clean up with a cloth. I don't think I could ever live without a shower. I took my time, I really didn't want to play family with Charlie and his friend. I knew the sooner I got down there the sooner it would be over.

I headed downstairs with my dirty laundry and sat in the living room at the computer desk. I heard laughter coming from the kitchen so, I just sat at the computer and printed all of the pictures that I had taken at the Cullen's. I was trying to be as quiet as I could to prolong this talk and I didn't know why. I hit print for the last picture and when Charlie wasn't in the living room I decide that I would take my laundry to the basement

"Bells that was the longest shower you have ever taking." Charlie said as I made my way to the basement door.

"Actually if you were paying attention you would of know that I was in the living room for the twenty minutes printing pictures from my week." I said as I went down the stairs to the basement and started my laundry. As soon as I walked back into the kitchen Charlie was waiting for me alone.

"Bella, Leah is important to me and I want you to give her a chance. You have only been home for a little while I have missed you, so please lose the attitude" He said as I mumbled a whatever and went back to the living room. I smiled at Leah as I made my back to the computer.

"Did you get a lot of pictures?" She asked in a sweet voice. There was no way that I was going to be able to be rude to her.

"Yeah." I said as I looked through the pictures.

"Can I see?" Leah asked as I walked over to her and sat on the couch. She started to look though the pictures of the house and the school yard when I remembered the pictures of Edward and I kissing and I snatched them out of her hand.

"Sorry." I said as I tried to come up with an excuse. "Um some of them are personal nothing bad, I just don't want to share." I told her looking down to the floor.

"Who was the young man in the picture?"

"Edward. I know I have no right to ask but please don't tell my dad."

"I'm right here Bella." My father said as my stomach dropped.

"Oh hey dad what's up?" I said with my sweet smile.

"What's in the pictures?"

"It's nothing bad just pictures of me and Edward." I said as I looked at one of the pictures of us in the meadow.

"What's the big deal?" He asked as I shrugged my shoulders knowing that he probably doesn't know what we did was wrong in the Amish's eyes. "Anyways I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He said as I lounged on the couch.

"So what do you want to talk about? I'm really tired I had a long week." I said just wanting to go to my room.

"Well then I will get right to the point. I want to know how you feel about Leah and I." He said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't really care. I just wish you would of told me. BUT in all honest I don't feel like playing family." I told them as my father's jaw dropped. "Anything else?"

"Um, so, yeah I'm just glad that you aren't throwing a fit." He said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I could, but I really just don't feel like doing it right now."

"No, no, that won't be necessary" He said as I stood.

"Look, I hate that you are with some one and happy. Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm a brat and I have an awful attitude so don't expect me to all happy about this." I said as I paced the length of the living room.

"Okay I'll take it. Glad that you are home sweetie." Charlie said as he hugged me.

"Charlie told me everything you just said." Leah said with a laugh. "I'm happy with your honesty. I just hope that we can try and be friends." She said as I looked at the pictures in my hand. I saw Edward's smile and I smiled.

"Yeah I can try." I said as I made my way back to the basement to switch over the laundry. As I made my way back to the stairs I looked into the living room and saw Charlie and Leah cuddling on the couch. You would of thought that I would have been grossed out by it, but it made me miss Edward. I wanted to cuddle with him.

When I got to my room I turned some music on and then hung up the pictures of Edward and myself. I smiled and then blew him a kiss. I was truly a dork. I sat on my bed and sent a text to all of my friends letting them know that I was home and that I could hang out tomorrow.

I looked at the clock and it read eight thirty. I was ready for bed. I had to laugh at myself. I was making myself stay up until ten, I wanted to sleep in. I flipped open my notebook to look at my notes and something caught my eye. I started to flip through the pages and say a note from Edward. As I read the tears came back, but also a smile. It read:

Bella, I love you. I can not wait to see you again. I have a feeling it will be soon. Again I love you so much. Only yours Edward.

I took a deep breath and laid on my side facing the pictures that I had just hung. I was hoping that I could see him soon. I had to or I was going to go crazy.

"Good night Edward, I love you." I said out loud and next thing I knew I was sound asleep.

EPOV

This was to weird. As I was laying in bed I looked at the pictures that Bella had giving me. The moon was shining bright and it made the photo look even better. I thought we looked good together. I was missing her already. When I returned from dropping Bella off I went right to my room, I just needed to be alone.

I thought back on our week together and I felt like a completely different person. Bella opened my eyes to so many things and I couldn't wait to live in her world. I knew it was going to be the best experience of my life and I couldn't wait. I was going to make sure that I was down at school yard on Friday there was no ands, ifs, or buts about it. Before I put the pictures away for the night I kissed it. I knew it was dorkish of me but I didn't care. That was my girl.

"Good night Bella I love you." I whispered.

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Please review I want to know what you all think!!


	13. Chapter 14

**PLEASE READ FIRST**: Okay so here is my beef, if you know more about the Amish than me please let me know so I know I have accurate info! I am very aware that Amish people do shop at walmart and go to the doctors...... with that being said this is a fiction story! If you don't like this story don't read it!

okay my rant is over..... on a brighter note I want to say how sorry I am that this took so long to post it will not happen again and I plan updating at least once a week! :)

also I am hoping that I will have my very first fan fic updated with corrections. So if you want to check it out that would be great it is called what do I have to lose.

I own nothing......

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BPOV

Monday morning came too soon, and even though I slept most of the weekend, I still felt tired and sad. I was missing Edward and on my way to school I was hoping to catch a glimpse of him… but that didn't happen.

Charlie and I really hadn't talked much over the weekend, but Leah and I did. I truly hated to admit it, but I liked her. She didn't act her age, well, I really didn't know how old she was. She had to be near forty, I hoped. She let me talk to her about Edward and I was happy that I had someone to talk to. She said the same thing as everyone else, things happen for a reason, blah, blah, fucking blah.

I didn't hang out with my friends over the weekend. I just didn't feel up to it, I really wanted some time to myself. I wasn't feeling like myself. Something felt off and I didn't know what it was. I still had the same feeling this morning as I headed into school. It was almost as if I didn't belong or I was out of place. Can a week really change someone?

"Bella!" I heard three very familiar voices ring out at once.

"Hey guys," I said with a smile on my face.

"So did you hear we have two new students?" Ah Jessica, she always knew everything about everyone. I shook my head and she kept talking while I was getting some books out of my locker. "Jacob Black and Angela Weber, they are step siblings. They're actually really weird, but Jacob is hot," she said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"I would have to agree that Angela is kinda weird, but Jake's pretty cool," Mike said in agreement.

"Ya know what? I really don't give a fuck, and I know for a fact Bella doesn't either," Tanya said.

"So how was spring break?" I asked trying to change the subject and stop Tanya's snipping. They all shrugged their shoulders.

"How was that fucking hot-ass Amish boy? What's his name?" Tanya asked.

"What hot Amish guy?" Jessica literally started salivating, like a dog that had just caught a whiff of steak.

"His name is Edward."

"Did you fuck him?" Tanya asked. This is what I liked about her and hated about her at the same time, she never beat around the bush. When she wanted to know something she would just ask.

"No," I said as she shook her head and called me lame. I just laughed at her.

The first half of the day went well and as I got back into the grove of things I started to feel better. Ms. Cope, my English teacher, asked me to stay after class. It was lunchtime and I was hoping that she would make this quick because I was starving.

"How was your week?" she asked with a smile.

"It was awesome," I told her, trying not to sound as wistful as I felt. She laughed at me, saying she wasn't expecting me to have such a reaction. If she only knew the week I had. Every time someone would bring up my spring break it made me think of Edward and that made me miss him.

I headed off to the cafeteria trying to shake off thoughts of Edward as I grabbed a piece of pizza and chocolate milk. I made my way over to the table and noticed that there were two extra people there; I assumed they were Jake and Angela. Angela looked a little like she was going through her awkward stage while Jake looked tall, dark, and … hot. He had short dark hair, tanned skin, and muscles that could make a girl drool. Angela also had dark, long hair and brown eyes. She wore glasses that were so nerdy, but immediately found her interesting.

"Bella, this is Jake and Ang," Mike said as I made my way to the available chair.

"Hey, nice to meet you," I said giving them my best friendly smile.

"Mike and Tanya were just telling us that you spent the week with an Amish family?" Ang asked. She had such a small voice. I was starting to think that her "weirdness" that the others had commented on was actually just simple shyness.

"I did. I have pictures do you want to look at them?"

"Hell yes! You have any pictures of that fuckhot Edward?" Tanya asked as I laughed.

"OOOOOh, I want to see him," Jessica whined.

I took a bite of my pizza and then dug into my bag for the pictures. I took one more bite and then moved my tray so I could put the pictures on the table.

"This is where I slept, this is the living room, kitchen, the house, and barn," I said as I laid them out on the table.

"Yeah, no one cares. Where's Edward?" Jessica asked.

"This is Edward," I said as I stared at his face.

"Wow," Ang said.

"Yummy," Jess said.

"Perfect," Tanya said as I started to laugh at their reactions.

"He's not that great," Mike said as Jake agreed with him. Of course they would stick together.

"Okay, so, you said you didn't fuck him, but did you at least kiss him?" Tanya asked as both Jess and Ang stared at me.

"Why would you ask me that?" I stumbled, caught off guard by the question.

"Duh Bella, look at this pic. He wants you something furious," Jess said.

I hated to blush, but I couldn't help it.

"Oh my God, you did!" she said, as I blushed even more.

"I was getting worried about you, slut! It's good to see you're still the same ol' mouth whore," Tanya said as I saw Jake's face light up.

"I hate you all," I said as I put the pictures back into my bag, trying to avoid looking in their eyes at all costs. I was glad when the subject got changed and no one had anything else to say about my trip to the Cullen's.

My next class was biology, and when Ang said that she had that class too, I knew that we would be lab partners because the seat next to me was the only seat left in the class.

"Thanks for being so nice to me Bella," she said quietly as she took her seat.

"Why would you thank me?" I questioned, feeling confused.

"Well, for being so nice. Tanya and Jessica are just, well, they haven't been the most welcoming," she admitted shyly as I chuckled.

"Don't let them get to ya. Quite honestly, they're bitches," I whispered to her as we laughed.

There was a lull in the conversation before she asked randomly, "I thought the Amish couldn't photograph themselves?"

"Um, they don't. Actually, Edward is second-guessing his lifestyle a little bit, I guess, and he doesn't feel that taking pictures is really a sin. I can't say I blame him," I told her cautiously as she smiled at me and nodded in agreement.

Our conversation was abruptly halted by the start of class. I was starting to think that Ang and I would become very good friends. It would be a good change from the cattiness of Tanya and Jessica. I really didn't like Jess, but she was always there. Tanya was the closest thing I had to a best friend. I knew better than to tell her all my secrets, but she seemed dependable enough when I needed her. Charlie didn't like her; he said she was a bad influence. I knew how to keep myself out of trouble so Charlie never really told me what I can and cannot do. If I started getting into trouble I am sure he would crack down on me, but I don't really plan on ever getting in trouble. I liked my freedom.

I walked out to the parking lot as the school day ended only to notice everyone was gathered over by Tanya's car. The weekend plans were clearly getting people excited already.

"I think we should go down to the creek," Mike said.

"We always go to the creek." Jess whined. She was always whining mistakenly thinking that she sounded cute.

"I like it down there. No one bothers us and we don't bother them," Tanya said casually and I agreed.

"If you don't like it, then why do you go?" Jake asked Jess and I chuckled.

"She likes going down there. She's just a whiny bitch," Tanya said, And that my friend, is why I love her.

"Whatever. I'm going home," Jess said as she walked away.

"So Bella, do you need a ride home?" Jacob asked me.

"Um, no thanks. I ride with Tanya," I told him as Tanya rolled her eyes.

"Some other day," he said as he gave me a wide smile. He had perfect teeth. I couldn't help, but to smile back at him.

"You could of ridden with him Bella, He's kinda hot," Tanya said as we pulled out of the student parking lot.

"I just met him," I said.

"Well just so you know, it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you ever wanted to ride him, whoops! My bad, I mean ride with him," she told me with a sly smile. I just smiled back at her and looked out the windshield.

As we drove past the Cullen's house I about broke my neck trying to see if anyone was outside, but I didn't see anyone. I knew Tanya wanted to ask me questions, and I was glad when she kept quiet. I really didn't even know what I would tell her. Suddenly the idea of going down to the creek Friday seemed like the perfect distraction.

I just had to hope that Edward would be there too.

As I walked into the house the phone was ringing. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my mother. I really didn't want to talk to her so I just let the machine answer it.

"Hi Bella, it's Mom. Your dad said that we were getting home on Friday, but you never called. I'll call back later. Love you," she said as I rolled my eyes. Part of me didn't care if I ever saw her again. I missed Mrs. Cullen more than I missed my own mother.

I was hoping that she wouldn't end up coming during the summer. In all honesty, I just really didn't care. I did love my mother, but at the same time, I would rather have her just call than promise one thing and then do another.

Now, on top of all of my mother drama, I had to deal with my father starting a new relationship. I knew this day would come eventually, but then again it has been just my father and I for so long that it really was going to take some getting use to. But he seemed happy and I would try for him.

By the end of the week Ang and I were quickly becoming friends. We had a lot in common and she was a breath of fresh air. We both liked a wide range of music, we loved reading the same books, and the best thing I liked about her was that I felt like I could trust her. I even talked with her about Edward, almost telling her everything. Almost. She wasn't judgmental at all. She couldn't wait to meet Edward and I wanted him to meet her as well.

Jake and I were becoming fast friends as well. Parts of him reminded me of Edward. Jacob was a protector. Angela couldn't stand that about him, he was the worst with her. We were sitting in lunch Friday and he told her that she couldn't go to the creek because he didn't want her getting in the way. That was when I knew that I had Jake wrapped around my finger because all I had to do was flash a smile and he melted and gave me my way.

Jake was a Junior and drove a red rabbit. I didn't know if that was the name of the car or if that is what he called it. Jake was picking me up so I could show them how to get to the creek.

All I knew was that it was Friday and I was going to celebrate the weekend by mauling Edward the first chance I had. That is, if he showed up.

I was really, really hoping that he would.

I was so anxious to get to the creek that I was pacing the foyer. When Jake's Rabbit pulled into the driveway I bolted out without any memory of opening, locking, or shutting the door.

"Hey guys," I said as I slid into the front seat. Ang was already in the back seat with Ben. They were so cute together.

"Hi Bella, I see you are excited to see me," Jake teased with a toothy smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are the source of her excitement," Ang giggled, knowing that I was hoping that Edward might make an appearance.

"So what goes on at these creek parties?"

"Nothing," Ben and I said at the same time.

"Great answer," Jake chuckled out. "Are there any fights, drinking, you know, anything like that?" Jake asked as he lit a cigarette.

"We only drink once and a while but not often. With the chief of police being Bella's dad none of us push our luck too much," Ben told him as I inhaled the smell of the cigarette. I really liked the smell. I have yet to try to smoke but it was tempting. I wondered if Edward would mind.

"Take this left," Ben and I said at the same time and then started to laugh.

"You have a great laugh," Jake said to me.

I smiled as I quietly thanked Jake for the compliment and then I started to wonder if it would be weird if I introduced Jake to Edward? What would I say? Jake this is my boyfriend Edward? Ugh, now I was freaking myself out over this. There was no doubt in my mind that I would kiss Edward if he should up. And I knew that I would have to explain things to Jake if something more was to become of our friendship.

I really didn't know if I wanted anything with Jake. He was cute enough so I guess he would be a good distraction. But then I felt really bad for even thinking that. I really didn't want a distraction from Edward. But did I want to spend the next year flying solo to every school function, movie outing, or party? It would be nice to have someone to do things with.

We made it to the clearing by the creek and I tried to start the fire but it was useless. Before I knew it Jake and Ben were by my side and had the fire burning in no time. I looked at my cell and saw that it was just six; I was hoping Mike wouldn't take too long to show since he was bringing the hot dogs and I was hungry. I also knew that if Edward was going to show up then he would be there within the half hour.

"Food's here!" I heard Mike yell as he walked into the clearing. My smile grew just as my stomach growled.

"Bella……" I heard Ang say. When I made eye contact with her she nodded her head to her left and my eyes shot towards the woods.  
My heart leap out of my chest releasing the nervous energy I had been holding in all afternoon.

"Hold this for me?" I said to Ang, holding out my stick to her that I had planned to use for roasting my hotdog.

"What's going on?" I heard Jake say as I ran to Edward. He had the biggest smile on his face, matching the one I wore across mine. I swear on my life it felt like it took me days to run across the field to him, but when his arms wrapped around me I was content.

"I missed you," I said as his lips found mine. God, I had missed this boy.

"I missed you too. How are you?" he asked as we held hands and walked back to the fire.

"It was a long week," I told him laying my head against his shoulder, as he gently kissed my hair.

"Mine was the same. Mom says hi," he said with a chuckle. My eyes popped out of my head.

"They know you're here? Are you in trouble?"

"No, she said it was fine. She misses you," he said, "we all miss you."

"I miss everyone too," I said quietly. "Where's Alice?"

"She is with Jasper. He doesn't feel comfortable here," Edward explained as I nodded in understanding.

"If you don't feel comfortable either, I would understand."

"Bella, I'm comfortable wherever you are," he said as we made it over to all of my friends.

"Well hello again Mcyummy," Tanya cooed as I rolled my eyes.

Edward looked at me in confusion.

"It's nice to see you again," he said politely.

"You remember Mike right?" I asked him as we sat as close to one another as we could. I had to laugh because as soon as he saw Mike it was clear that Edward was marking his territory by putting his arm around me. "These are our new friends, Ang and Jake. Guys this is Edward," I said as Ang said hi and smiled sweetly. Jake shook Edwards hand and I saw both of their forearms flex. Great next thing I know they are going to have a pissing contest.

"Here Bell," Ang said breaking the tension and handed me my hot dog.

"Thanks," I said as Jake moved away and I put my dog back over the fire.

"Use a plate Slob," Jessica said as she handed Edward my plate. I never used a plate because to me there was no sense, all I did was eat the dog off the stick.

"Want a bite?"

"What is it?"  
"It's a hot dog." I said as I squeezed some ketchup on my plate for dipping.

"It looks like a sausage, what's in it?" he asked as he inspected it.

"Don't know. Don't care," I told him as I brought it to his lips. "Just try it, I tried church butter," I said as he chuckled. "Besides, you never know how you might get rewarded for trying new things," I teased, raising my brows to him.

"Well, if my reward is a kiss," he whispered into my ear, "I think I want to collect now."

I laughed out loud at his new found boldness before leaning over and giving him a quick kiss on his lips. Then before he could respond, I replaced my lips with the hot dog. He smiled and took a bite. He chewed the bite and then shrugged his shoulders.

"That's pretty good," he said as I smiled.

"So Edward, are you even allowed to be here?" Jake asked bringing me back to reality.

"Um.." Edward began to say but I interrupted him.

"It's none of your fucking business Jake. Jeesh, don't be so fucking rude," I said as I felt Edward grip my thigh. "What?" I said to him.

"Bella, I think you're the one being rude," Edward said to me as I looked at him in shock and the others busted out laughing.

"It's none of his business."

"All he did was ask a question. You need to relax," he said before turning to Jacob. "Yes Jacob, I could get in trouble for being here. But I wanted to see Bella," Edward said as I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Oh, how sweet," Jake said as he ate his food.

"Don't," Edward said as I started to say something back to Jake. I stood up and got another hot dog out of the cooler. Edward took his hand off my thigh and ran his fingers through his sexy, messy hair. I couldn't help but stare at him.

"Damn Bella, he is so fucking hot," Ang said as Tanya and Jessica agreed with her. "Do they all look like that?" she asked, and it was obvious that all the girls were waiting with baited breath for my answer.

"Well, yeah, some of them are," I said as they giggled. I walked back to sit with Edward. I took the stick from him and started to heat the dog over the open flames. I smiled when I felt Edward wrap his arms around my waist and had his legs on each side of me. "You want to share this one with me too?" I asked as he kissed the side of head.

"No, I'm not hungry," he said as I started to eat the dog. "This is fun," he said into my ear as I molded myself to his chest.

I nodded my head in agreement as I finished munching away. Once my hands were free we weaved our fingers together but it wasn't long before I felt Edward start to fidget.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I just wanted to check the time," he said as I reached into my hoodie pocket and pulled out my phone.

"We have forty five minutes and you are not leaving a minute sooner," I said as I leaned up to his perfect lips and kissed them.

"I love you," he whispered to me as a gave a soft giggle. I don't think I would ever get tired of hearing him say that.

"I love you too," I said quietly before being snapped out of our little bubble by someone calling my name.

"Jesus Christ, there is more of them," Jacob said as I turned and saw Alice and Jasper headed towards us.

"Alice!" I said as she approached us. "Hi Jasper," I said as he nodded uncomfortably. "You guys want a hot dog?" I asked as I saw Edward out of the corner of my eye shake his head no.

"No thanks," they said together.

"You said you liked them!" I said to Edward.

"Um... you look so pretty today," he said with that crooked smile that should be against the law to have. Everyone busted out with laughter.

"Whatever," I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

Everyone settled down, talking and munching on chips, and I tried to engage in the group conversation and not be too distracted by the Greek God who was sitting beside me.

"Okay Ang, I admit it, I think you are pretty cool," Tanya said, as if giving in to a truth she found hard to believe. I couldn't help a smile that was on my face that Tanya was accepting Ang.  
Alice and Edward were quickly included in the snacking and conversation as we talked relaxed around the fire.

"Jas, you don't have to be afraid of that chip. It's okay if you want to try it. Your secret is safe with us," Ang teased as I smiled at her.

"Yeah Jas, just try it. They are really good," Alice said. He finally tried the chip and he seemed to like it, but didn't take another. Alice on the other hand loved them and ate the chips with us until my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and saw that it was my mother again.

"Who is it?" Edward asked.

"My mother."

"If you answer that phone I swear to God I will throw it in the creek," Tanya said knowing what my mother does to me every time I talk to her.

"Call her later if you want, but right now…." Edward looked at me trying to convey his intentions with his eyes. I put my phone away but could still hear it beeping letting me know that she left a voice mail; and because I am gluten for punishment, I listened to the voice mail.

"Isabella, I am sick of you avoiding me. You have ten minutes to call me back or I will be there in the morning," she said as I looked nervously to Tanya and then to Edward.

"Should I call her bluff?" I asked.

"I don't want that crabby bitch here, but I don't want you to talk to her either," Tanya said.

"What's the big deal?" Ang asked. Such a simple question, such a complicated answer.

"Because the women is not a mother. She is always getting Bella upset, she never sticks to her word, and I can say that I have seen more tears come from Bella because of that woman than she deserves," Edward said as he paused to take a breath. "I am Amish and we live by not judging people. But I can't help it with her, I will never like that women, ever."

"Edward you don't mean that," Alice said as everyone just stared at Edward. "I say call her bluff."

"Agreed," everyone said at the same time. I hated drama, but it was worse when it revolved around me.

However, the phone call was quickly forgotten when I heard Jasper say, "We have to get back." My tension about the phone call immediately spiraled into panic as I watched Alice jump to her feet to follow him back towards the woods, rushing to say her goodbyes to my friends.

Edward looked reluctant to leave, but we both knew that he had to. I tried to tamp down my own sad feelings and took his hand as we walked slowly in the direction that Jasper and Alice had walked.

"I had fun," he said smiling at me.

"Good I'm glad. Are you going to be able to come hang next week?" I asked hoping to hear the answer that I wanted.

"I'm not sure. I won't know until later in the week."

"Okay, well, I will be here just in case," I told him as I wrapped arms around his waist. He pulled me into a hug and I laid my head on his chest. "I'll miss you," I said into his shirt.

"I'll miss you too. Do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Stay away from Jacob. Please," he said as I looked into his eyes.

"Why?"

"I don't know there is just something about him that makes me nervous. I just ….." he paused looking for the right words as I looked at him skeptically. "I don't like the way he looks at you."

"It will be okay Edward, I promise. I love you."

"Just do it for me. I love you too," he said as he kissed my lips. "I have to go before I'm late. See you soon," he said pulling away, giving me one more kiss.

"Yeah, I'll see ya. Love you."

"Love you, stay away from him," he said. I nodded my head in understanding and he turned and ran through the trees.

What was his real problem with Jake, I wondered? I would have to talk about it with him when we had more time. I wondered if he was jealous and saw Jacob as competition. I laughed at that. It would make sense, of course he would want me to stay away from him. He had no idea that Jake was anything but competition.

The rest of the night seem to go by fast. I had to be home by eleven and Jake was taking me home. I didn't want to disappoint Edward, but part of me wanted to know if something was off about Jake or if Edward was just being an over jealous boyfriend.

"Did you guys have fun?" I asked Jake and Ang as we headed home.

"I did. I really like Edward and Alice. Jasper seemed a little creepy… well at least he seemed a little uncomfortable," Ang said.

"Jasper gets very nervous around outsiders," I told her as she shook her head in understanding.

"So what's up with you and that Amish guy?" Jack asked.

I really didn't know how to tell him without telling him the whole story. "It's kind of a long story."

"I'm sure I can keep up," he told me as I debated what to tell him.

"Well......"

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Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. Drama will start next chapter!

I promise no matter what the next chapter will be up on Monday!  
a fan rec is payback on the player...... if you need a good laugh this is a must read!


	14. Chapter 15

As promised... please excuse any mistakes

I own nothing

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EPOV

The year of being away from Bella is half over. Six more months to go. Well it was more like seven months, but who was counting? With winter fast approaching trips to the creek were a few and far between. When I told Bella that I wouldn't be able to see her often she wasn't as upset as I thought she would have been. Maybe she didn't like the cold. I wanted to be optimistic. She said she loved me every time she saw me and she always showered me with kisses. The only thing that I couldn't stay positive about was Jacob.

I knew he wanted my girl and I was going to do whatever I had to, to keep her with me and away from him. I told Bella the first time I saw her after she left my house that I wanted her to stay away from Jacob. I told her he gave a funny feeling. I hate lying, but it really wasn't a whole lie. He did rub me the wrong way. I wanted him to stay away from my Bella, part of me thought that he would be better for her than me. He could be with her all the time and I was only seeing her a few times a month. Now that winter was coming if I saw her once a month I would be lucky. She would have Jake to keep her warm. Gez I had to stop thinking like that.

I was going crazy with these thoughts and they were invading my every thought. I decide that I would write a letter to Bella and explain my feelings. I was hoping that she wouldn't take offense to the letter, but I had to tell her how I was feeling or I was going to go insane.

Bella, how are you? Good I hope. I had to write you this letter because I know that I won't be seeing you for a while and that is driving me crazy. I love you more than anything and I wanted you to know what I have been feeling. I truly hate that I can not be with you. I hate that I know Jacob can be with you. You aren't with him are you? I know I may be silly asking this, I'm going crazy here Bells. I need to know where you stand on this. If you tell me that you are not interested in him I will never ask again. This is going to be the longest winter of my life knowing that I can't be with you. I miss the nights that I got to hold you, kiss you and love you. The next six months are going to take way to long for my liking, but I know there is nothing that I can do about that. I miss you every minute of every day. I was think of starting Rumspringa your last day of school, how does that sound to you?

One more thing before I end this letter, I was just wondering if you are upset about not being able to see me? You just didn't seem that upset. For some reason I am feeling very insecure and I don't know how to get past this. I just need to know what you are feeling.

Well I guess this is all for now.

I love you forever Edward.

There now I just had to get this letter to her and wait to see what she had to say.

BPOV

The last six months have flown by. The summer was great! I spent most of my time with Ang, Ben and Jake. We did everything together, movies and dinner was our thing. I would start to have feelings for Jake and then I would see Edward and then they would disappear. The weather was starting to get cold and Edward told me that he wouldn't be able to come around as often.

"Bells, with winter coming I won't be able to get out as much." He told me and a lump grew in my throat.

"I understand." I told him trying not to cry. I didn't want him to feel that he had to make time for me. "I love you." I said as I reached up to his face to kiss him. His kiss was odd. In a way it was like he was telling me good bye. All of his other kisses had longing and want. Did he even want me anymore? I thought.

"I love you too." He said as he went through the trees to the school yard.

I wasn't sure what was going through his head. I thought of him on my birthday when I got my licenses. I knew that he wanted to learn how to drive and I was hoping that I would be able to teach him. Charlie and Leah got me a car for my birthday. It was nothing grand, but it was mine. My dad said I was most likely to crash it and then went into a huge lecture about safe driving.

"It's not that I don't trust you Bella, I just don't trust other people." He said as Leah and I chuckled.

"Charlie, she is the most responsible teen I know, that or she is very good at getting away with things." Leah said as Charlie turned to me.

"Dad don't listen to her she is just trying to get me in trouble." I said as I put my hand over my heart like I was hurt.

"You two are going to be the death of me." He said as we both laughed at him.

I was really liking Leah. She now knew everything about Edward. She knew of the chooses that I was thinking of making.

"Bella these choose need to made in good time. You are so young, right now you just need to live your life. Okay?" She said as we ate pizza while Charlie was working late.

"I understand what you are saying, but in the Amish community I would be considered an adult. Edward right now is thinking about what he wants to name his kids. He isn't thinking about what he is doing this weekend or what college he may want to attend. I have never felt more confused in my life." I said as I took a breath. "Am I selfish for hoping that he will want to stay in the outside world?"

"Bella I don't think you are selfish, but I think when he gets here we should all have a talk."

"I don't want my dad talking about this with us." I said in a rush.

"Bell he is your dad, he needs to be involved."

"Can it just be us at first?"

"Yeah." She said as she hugged me.

So yeah I was really liking her, maybe even loving her. I did love her she was already more my mother than Renee every was. When I called her bluff that night at the creek she never showed. I can't say that I was surprised. She did show up a week before my birthday. I was good to see her. She talked about herself the whole time telling me that her and fill were almost done traveling the east coast and that they were going west. I showed fake enthusiasm knowing that she would be closer to me. It was easier this time when she left, I didn't understand why, but I wasn't going to question it.

The biggest surprise of the summer was when Charlie asked Leah to marry him. He was so sweet that I almost cried. Leah did...

"So what's up with this dinner dad?" I asked as we sat at an Italian restaurant.

"What? I can't do something nice for my two favorite girls?" He said as he started to fidget. He was up to something and I didn't know what. The dinner was so much fun. We talked about how my summer was going and Charlie talked about work. Leah talked about her writing, she was a published author. She wrote trashy romance and Charlie said I couldn't read them ever. Little did he know I was already reading them. She was very talented. It was one of thing that I liked about her, she had a very good imagination.

"Okay I do have a reason for bringing you two out." He said as he started to sweat. "Okay this wasn't the way I truly wanted to do this, but I thought that it was the perfect way for us." He said as he reached into his coat pocket. When I saw the ring box I squealed. "Leah, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I have to ask for Bella's bless..."

"No you don't. Go and ask her." I said as I interrupted him.

"Okay, Leah will you marry me?" He asked as tears fell from her eyes. My heart swelled with happiness. Leah was going to be my step mom. She was already my mom.

"Yes of course I will." She said as she wiped her tears away. He slipped a small pretty ring on her finger.

"I hope this doesn't mean you are going to become evil and mean now. I really like being friends with you." I said as she hugged me.

In a way I wasn't joking, I didn't want her to become a bitch now that she would be my step mother. In all honestly if anything I liked her even more.

"Bell you got a letter today." Leah said as I walked in the door from school. As she handed it to me she smiled and I knew it was from Edward. I couldn't open it fast enough. I sat down as I was reading it. He didn't think I cared and I did care that I wasn't going to see him. "What's wrong?" Leah asked as I started to cry handing her the letter. I looked up at her when I heard her chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"I guess all men are the same." She said handing me back the letter. "Okay sweetie let me try to explain this to you." She sat next to me and giggled again. "Men at any age are very insecure. They need to be told a lot that they are the only one that you want. It does get better with age. You and Edward are doing a long distance relationship, but yet you live in the same town. It's bothering him that he can't be with you. He's scared." She said as I understood what she was saying.

"Thanks for the talk." I said as I walked up to my room and started to write him back.

Edward, I love you and there is nothing you have to worry about. Jacob is a good guy and there is nothing for you to worry about. His dad and my dad have become pretty good friends. I will be honest with you, once in a while I do have feelings for Jake, but when I see you I no longer feel for him.

That night at the creek when you said that you couldn't see me as much I was crushed. I went home and cried. I just didn't want to breakdown in front of you because I didn't want you to feel like I couldn't handle you not being around.

I think that it would be perfect if you came my last day of school! I can't wait until we can be together all the time. I hope this letter eased your mind. You know you can always talk to me about anything.

Only yours Bella

I was hoping that this letter would make him feel better. I didn't want him to feel like I was out and about with Jake. Part of me felt guilty because in a way I was hanging out with Jake a lot. He and I were friends nothing more. Right?

EPOV

I received a letter from Bela two days later. I felt better knowing that she was sad about not seeing me as much. I was glad that she still wanted me. I felt a part of my heart break when she said that she was developing feeling for him. As long as she sees me her feelings stay away, but will happen if she doesn't see me for a few weeks?

I was starting to wonder if I was over thinking this. I needed to talk to someone, but who?

"Edward, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Emmett said as I jumped down from the buggy.

"Everything is fine. I was wondering if I could talk to you?" I asked as my nerves started in. He just nodded his head yes and waited for me to continue. "If I tell you things you won't tell father will you?"

"Edward what is going on. I have told you before I won't say anything." He said sounding a little annoyed and concerned.

"Okay, well, I really don't know where to start." I said taking a deep breath. "Almost every Friday night I have been hanging out with Bella. I told her with winter coming I won't be able to see her as often I wrote her a letter saying that I was worried that she would start hanging out with Jake more. She told me that whenever she starts to feel something for Jacob she would see me and the feelings would go away. What if she falls for him because she can't see me?" I said as I waited for him to talk.

"Who is Jake and Jacob?"

"They are the same person. He is a friend of Bella's and the way he looks at her I know he has feeling for her."

"Do you trust Bella?"

"Yes."

"Then what are you worried about?" He asked as I grew quite. How was I to answer that? He was right I did trust Bella, but I was still worried.

"I don't know I think I'm going crazy." I told him.

"You are worrying about things that you have no control over."

"Do you think I don't know that?" I asked getting angry.

"Look Edward I don't know what you want me to say?" He asked me and his face was at a loss.

"I don't know. I just want to understand these feelings."

"Do you really love her?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust her?"

"Yes."

"But you are worried that she is going to fall for the Jake kid?"

"Yes."

"But as long as she sees you those feelings that she has say at bay?"

"Yeah that is what she told me." I said as he just stared at me. I needed him to say something, anything.

"I don't really think that there is anything that I can say that hasn't already been said. Things happen for a reason, Edward." He told me and I rolled my eyes at him. I was so sick of hearing every one saying that. "Oh wait, I have another one for you." He said as he smiled at me. "Absence makes the heart grow founder." He said acting proud that he had come up with that.

"Well that's just stupid." I said with a chuckle.

"Just don't let it bother you so much. There is nothing you can do about it." He said not making me feel any better. "I know I'm not making you feel much better, but honestly I don't know what you are going through. I'm at a loss here." He said as I just shrugged my shoulders. "What do you do when you see each other?"

"Just hang out. Talk about what we have been up to." I said as a smile grew on my face. "I'm just going to keep writing to her, ya know keep the reminder of me in the front of her head." I said as I climbed back up in the buggy. "Thanks for talking to me Emmett." I said as I started to pull away.

I was feeling like I was obsessing over her and it was making me crazy. I didn't like the way it made me feel. I had to find something to make my time go by faster, but I didn't know what I could do. It seemed as though my mind was racing around Bella. That is what it felt like to be in love right?

BPOV Halloween

Every one was pairing up for Halloween. This was one of the times that I have missed Edward the most. Mike and Jessica were going as Raggedy Ann and Andy. Jess put the slut factor to her outfit, we all were. That was what Halloween was all about, you got to channel your inner slut and get away with it. Ben and Ang were going as Aladdin and Jasmine. Tanya and Tyler were going as a dominate and a submissive, I roared with laughter when I heard that. I couldn't wait to see them. I was stuck with Jacob. Every time I tried to shy my way away from him some how we were pulled back together. Jake and I were going as Danny and Sandy from Grease. I was thankful so I didn't have to be overly slutty I was hoping for a fun night.

The girls were all coming over to my house to get ready, which was a good thing because I didn't think I would be able to do my own hair. All the girls looked great by the time we were ready. Tanya had on the shortest black leather skirt I had ever seen in my life. She was also wearing a black tube top with a leather choker. I could just imagine what Tyler would hook up to that. Jessica was wearing a skirt that looked like torn rags and her shirt was the same. The shirt was ripped near her boobs and her mid drift was showing. Ang looked like Jasmine, with her long dark hair she could play the human part. I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I had leather pants on that made it hard to bend over, I was glad I listened to Tanya and wore leggins underneath them. I was surprised when Leah took me to the store to get a push up bra to make my boobs look a little bigger. She told me not to tell my dad. I also had on a black tube top with a small leather coat. I had to admit my boobs looked great and I would probably wear the push up bra more often.

"Oh my god don't you boys look so handsome!" I heard Leah say. Handsome was an understatement, that were all so hot. Jake refused to wear leather pants so he had on a pair of black jeans, white shirt and a leather coat. His hair was the best part his it was identical to Danny's in the movie. All Tyler had on was black pants and no shirt. I didn't get it, but Tanya looked please. Ben had on a pair of white pants and they looked like something MC Hammer would wear. Then he just had on a purple vest, I think they looked the most in character. Mike looked hilarious! He had on a ripped plaid shirt and ripped jeans, the two of them looked like a hot mess. They were finally together so that was all that mattered. They were kind of cute together. I have no idea how they ended up together, but one day at school we caught them making out. Tanya had a field day with the two of them.

"Girls?" We heard Charlie say. "I think you all need something more on." He said as we all busted out laughing.

"Oh Charlie stop it's Halloween." She said whispering something in his ear that made him blush and I knew I didn't want to know what was said. "Okay I want some pictures." She said as we all matched up.

"Okay, no drinking. And drive safe." Charlie said as we finished up the pictures.

"Dad don't worry we won't." I said as we headed out the door.

"We have to walk to my house I want to go trick or treating!" Mike said sounding like a ten year old boy. Us girls laughed at him, but all the boys had bags.

"You have got to be kidding me. Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" I said to Jake as he took me by the hand.

"What? Who wouldn't want free candy? Don't worry I'll share." He said as we walked down the street stopping at all of the houses on the way.

EPOV

I loved this holiday. Halloween. I love to watch all of the trick or treaters dressed up. This was something I always wanted to do. Alice and I would always watch people walk up and down the street. Every year my father would give us the, it's the devil's holiday, speech. I wondered if Bella dressed up.

"Edward, I think that is Bella!" Alice said as I saw a group of girls walking down the street. Some of them had barely any clothes on. They all did look really good. "I think she has those tight pants on." Alice said bring me out of my lustful thought of the girls.

"Father can we go say hi to her?" I asked hoping that if Alice wanted to go too he wouldn't mind if we went outside.

"Sure, but make it quick." He said as my mother smiled. As we headed out the door I got a better look of every one that she was with. She was with all if her friends that were always at the creek, he was even there with her. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him put his arm around my girl and feed her something. I saw red, I wanted to rip his arm off his body.

"BELLA!" Alice said as Bella's eye's flashed to us.

"Alice, Edward!" Bella said as she looked both ways before crossing the street. Jake grabbed her hand as they walked across. I then wanted to break his fingers. What was she doing? Why was she with him? Why were they holding hands? "I've missed you." She said as she shook his hand off her's and hugged Alice. I haven't seen Bella in three weeks and right now I was so mad that I didn't want to see her.

"What are you dressed up as?" Alice asked as Bella pulled away from the hug.

"Jake and I are dressed as Sandy and Danny from this movie called Grease." She said as she walked over to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I clenched my jaw.

"I've missed you too." Bella said as she saw how angry I was. "Are you mad?"

"Yes!" I said as if it should be a known fact. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I said pulling her to the side before she could say anything. "Bella you said you would stay away from him and now I see him with his arm around you and holding your hand!" I have never in my life been as mad as I was at that moment.

"Edward, I'm sorry. It's just that I had no one else to dress up with. Every one was doing a couple thing. Please don't be mad." She said taking my clenched fist into her hand. "I love you not him." She said trying to calm me down.

"Bella, I don't like it." I said as if I was a whiny child.

"Please don't be mad. You said you trusted me."

"I do. Bells I'm just so mad because it should be me." I said as she looked to the ground. "I have missed you. It's just that you look so hot and I don't want other guys looking at you and believe me they are going to look." I said as she giggled.

"Oh baby I have missed you." She said as she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. I didn't know what overcame me, but as I was holding her in the hug my hands started to explore her body. I could feel her soft skin of her back and stomach.

"Your skin is so soft." I whispered into her ear and then kissing her temple. Then my hand had a mind of their own as they grabbed her butt. "I really want to go home with you. I have missed our nights so much." I said as I kept my hand on her behind.

"Me too, I can't wait for the summer." She said as he gave me a small kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. Will you keep this outfit?" I asked as she laughed out loud and then said she would and she would only do it for me.

"Bella! Come on." I heard one of her friends call.

"Okay go, but don't let him put his hand on you."

"Yes sir." She said with a giggle.

"Have fun. I love you." I said as she walked away from me.

"Love you." She said blowing me a kiss and then completely ignoring Jake when he tried to walk with her. That made me happy and I was hopping that I would never see him touch her again.

Bpov

When I heard Alice call my name my whole body froze. When I saw how angry Edward was I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him in three weeks and I was missing him like crazy, the last thing I wanted was for him to be mad at me. It made my Halloween to see him and when his hands roamed my body I knew he liked my costume.

When he told me not to let Jake put his hand on me, my body broke out in goose bumps. Edward didn't know how sexy he was. Everything about him was sexy. The way he walked, talked, kiss, even his hugs were sexy.

Just seeing how upset he got over Jake touching me I just couldn't be around Jake anymore. After walking away from Edward I walked past Jake and went to walk with the girls. I turned to get one more look at my sexy Amish boy only to find him with his arms crossed across his chest glaring at Jake. All Jake did was smirk a smug grin at Edward and walk towards me.

"Bella wait up." Jake said as he approached me trying to put his arm around me. I shrugged him off and looked back to Edward giving him an apologetic look. He smiled and made his way to the house.

I had told Jake the whole story between Edward and I after he first met Edward. Of course he was confused, who wouldn't be. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.

"Okay let me see if I got this straight, you are in love with him, but you aren't his girlfriend?" He had asked me and I shook my head yes. "And you want to see other people to make sure what you have is real with him?" He asked as I again nodded my head yes again. "So do you want to go out some time?" He had asked me and I didn't know what to say.

"Maybe some other time. Right now it just to soon." I said feeling very nervous.

"I guess I can understand that. I just want to let you know that I won't give up on this. I really like you Bella." He said and that was the first time he held my hand. It was a nice feeling, his hand was warm, but I didn't get the tingly feeling that I got with Edward. And I still didn't feel it.

As we made our way to Mikes house Jake told every one we would meet up with them.

"Bella how are you going to find out what else is out in this world if you keep pushing me away? Whenever we are together we have so much fun. Go out with and see if what I feel for you is there for you too. If it's not there for you I will understand." He said as I stared at him. I didn't know what to say.

"I don't know Jake. I just really don't know what to do." I told him feeling so torn.

"Just say yes." He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to him. "You don't have to change your life around for me." He said as leaned his head down towards my face. I started to pull away, but his hold on me got tighter. "Don't fight this." He said as his lips touched mine. I tired to fight as I heard Edwards voice in my head, don't let him touch you. I pulled away.

"I can't Jake, I'm sorry." I said as he took one of his hands off waist and put it on the back of my neck.

"Bella, just try. You are the one that wants to see if what you and the Amish dick has is real, then you need to do this." He said as he kissed me again.

"I will end up hurting you." I told him knowing that I would choose Edward over him.

"You have to get to know me first before you can make an informed decision" He said once again kissing me. "This will be our first date and we will go from there." He said as another round of kissing came about. I was scared because I was getting into it. I liked his kisses. His lips and tongue were so soft and he was so gentle and I wanted more.

"Okay, but I can't make any promises."

"I can deal with that." He said with his killer smile then kissed me again and this time I didn't pull away I moved in because I wanted more.

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I just want to say thanks a million to everyone that has reviewed, put this story on alert or your fav list I love you all... now that I said thank you please review! i have never done this before, but if you review I will give you a little teaser...

see u next week!


	15. Chapter 16

Ok so here's the deal, I don't like Bella she is not my favorite person in twilight. Jacob is a big part of twilight and he adds the drama... I like drama... If something doesn't make sense just give it a few chapters before you stop reading... and please remember Bella is a spoiled teenager, that plays an important part in this story. In twilight she is said to selfless and I think she is a little selfish and that is what she is in this story

BPOV END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR

"Jake if you didn't want to help me why did you say yes?" I asked ready to punch him in the face.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to spend time with you." He said sounding like a whiny little boy.

"Whatever, just go wait in the car." I said as I looked through the men section at Old Navy.

"No I said I'd fucking help." He said picking out the ugliest shirts.

"I don't want your help." I said putting back the clothes that he had picked out.

"Why are you being such a bitch?"

"Why are you being an asshole?"

"Because a few weeks ago you were sleeping in my bed! Now I am here helping you pick out clothes for the Amish douche bag."

"I didn't ask for your help you offered." I reminded him. "Do you think he is a thirty or a thirty two waist?"

"I don't know he is scrawny so he is probably a thirty." He said as I threw a pair of thirty twos in the cart.

"Why ask if you aren't going to listen?" He asked and I just shrugged my shoulder. I really didn't trust him after seeing the shirts he picked out for Edward.

Things between Jacob and I were very weird. We did date, a lot. We spent most of our days together. I was spending every weekend with him at his house. My dad thought I was spending the night with Ang, but she was with Ben every minute of every day. They really did love each other. Jake and Ang's house was the best place to hang out, their parents were never home.

I told Jake in april that I wasn't feeling what was becoming of us.

"You aren't even trying!" He yelled at me.

"I have been trying for months! I just don't feel for you the way I feel for Edward." I said as I stood up from his bed.

"Of course, I should of known. Why were you fine all winter? You didn't start acting weird until a few months ago." He said and what had change was that I was seeing Edward on a weekly bases. "I should of known this was going to be a mistake." He said as he laid back on his pillow.

"I know this is a corny thing to say, but can we stay friends? You are my best friend."

"It really doesn't matter what you say because I will be nothing once he get's here."

"Just forget it." I said as I walked out of his room. He didn't talk to me until two weeks ago. He told me that we could be friends. We were the most awkward friends in this world. He would try to hold my hand or kiss me goodbye, I would just pull away.

Jake was a great guy, but he wasn't the one for me. Edward was who I wanted. I was hoping that Edward wouldn't be upset over finding out that I was with Jake. That was the hardest thing that I ever had to tell him. I got a letter in the mail at the beginning of April saying that he was going to be at the creek the following Friday. It was the first time that I saw him in almost five months. The winter was one of the most harsh winters in years.

"Bella!" His sweet voice said as he made his way to me. "I missed so much." He said as he encircled his arms around my waist, picking me up spinning me around.

"I missed you too." I told him as I pulled away from him. "I have something to tell you." I said as a lump formed in my throat.

"Why won't you let me kiss you?"

"Because I can't." I said taking a breath trying to push my tears away. "I have been dating Jake." I said as my tears started to fall on their own. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry for something you wanted." He said as he looked away from me in disgust. "Do you love him?" He asked and I didn't know how to answer him. "I'll take that as a yes." He said as he started to walk away.

"I am sorry. I'm sorry I am hurting you. I knew this was going to happen. No, I don't love him like I love you." I said as he stopped walking, but still wouldn't look at me.

"Then why are you still with him." He asked as I heard his voice crack.

"Because I'm selfish." I said honestly.

"That's a dumb reason."

"I know." I said sounding defeated.

"It's me or him, Bella." He said turning to face me.

"It will always be you, but I would want him to be my friend too." I said in a whisper felling like the biggest piece of shit ever.

"Figure it out and let me know when you do. You knew how I felt about this whole thing. Have you... did you... UGH I don't know how to ask." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest with tears in his eyes. "Did you have intercourse with him? Sleep with him?" He finally said.

"No I didn't have sex with him,but I have slept in his bed." I said wanting to not hide things from him.

"UGH." He yelled. "I can't be here." He said as he started to walk away again.

"I haven't seen you in months please don't leave." I begged.

"Go back to Jacob, that is who has been there for the last months."

"I will never speak to him again if it meant that I could only be with you."

"I just... need to go... think." He said as he walked through the trees.

I wrote him a letter every day for a month before he wrote back. My letters were short I really didn't know what to say. They all said that I was sorry and that I loved him. I didn't know what else to write. The day that I got Edwards letter saying that he forgave me, I broke down in tears because I was starting to think that he didn't want me any more. Thinking about what Edward had said about Jake and I having sex, made me think of the time that we had our first oral session.

I was staying at Jake's and we had been together for over three months. We were laying in his bed and I was comfortable warm. I loved the way he held me, it reminded me of Edward. Everything reminded me of Edward. Were were watching a movie when I felt Jake put his hand on my boob.

"What are you doing?" I asked him with a giggle as he pinched my nipple, that felt really good.

"Playing with my girlfriend's tits." He said with a sly smile as we started kissing. His hands started to inch their way up my shirt and when his hot hand landed on my breast I shivered and moaned. It felt great to have his hands on me, but it didn't give me the 'wow' feeling that I got with Edward. As I kissed Jake back I ran my fingers through his soft hair and down his bare arms. He lifted my shirt over my head and for the first time I was naked in front of a boyfriend, and I was sad. Something felt off. He kiss me down my neck and trailed kisses to my mounds. He sucked on each of them and it did feel good, but I was growing uncomfortable. I knew I had to stop before it went any further. Before I could collect my thoughts he pulled my pants down and started to fondle my girl parts.

I couldn't help the moaning that was coming out of my mouth. I had lost all train of thoughts as he started to finger me and kiss me. I moaned out his name and wanted to beg for more. Jake gave me my first orgasm. No one would ever understand what went through my head at that moment, I thought of this as a rehearsal and I wanted to practice just in case Edward wanted to try.

Jake ground his hard erection in between my naked legs and I wanted to melt. The way he was moving was erotic. I ran my hands down his chest as he kissed my mouth, neck and breast. I slipped Jake's short off his hips and he made a hissing noise as my hand grazed his penis. He was so hard and big. I was starting to get nervous, but I was going to do this for Edward.

"Jake, can I... do you want me to..." I trailed off as he kissed my mouth.

"Babe, I have done this before and I know that you haven't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." He said as we laid there naked with one another.

"I want to." I said as he smiled at me as he rolled onto his back. I knew the basics, but I had never giving a blow job before. I lowered my mouth to his hard member and put the head of his manhood in my mouth.

"Oh baby you don't know how good that feels." He moaned out as he stroked my hair giving my ego the boost it needed for me to keep going. I just remembered everything that Tanya and Jessica had said in the past about what guys liked. I used my hand to stroke him as I sucked him in my mouth. He moaned pushing the back of my head up and down keeping the pace. The way he held my hair in his fists made my mouth water for him.

"Bella, baby, I'm going to come. I want you to swallow every drop that I give you. That is the sexiest thing you could do." He said as I felt him shot his load into my mouth. I did as he asked and swallowed every drop, I liked it.

That happened several times throughout the time that we were together. In March we almost went all the way. He had just gotten done going down on me and it was amazing. I loved when he did that to me. I was getting ready to repay him when he stopped me.

"Bella I want to be inside of you." He had said as he had my legs drape over his hip. I could feel his cock at my hole.

"I can't Jake." I said as he stared to kiss my neck.

"Okay baby, I can wait until you are ready." He said as we kissed. I went down on him and then the question of sex never came up between the two of us again.

As I looked through more men clothing and thought back on the last year I couldn't believe how fast it had gone by. The last few days had gone by so slow waiting for Edward to be at my house. I only had one day left of school and it was a half day, so I knew that I only had twenty four hours before he was with me.

After I had two pairs of short, two pairs of jeans, five shirts, some underwear and pajamas, I headed to shoes. I had no clue what size to get him. All I knew, I wasn't going to ask Jake. I didn't even really know what Edward would like so I picked out a pair of men's strappy sandals size ten and half. I knew that was the size that Charlie wore and I think their feet looked the same size.

"Are you done yet?" Jake asked as he leaned on cart.

"Yes." I said as I hip bumped him away out of the way.

"I'm sorry for earlier, it's just that this is hard." He said as I started to the front of the store.

"You didn't have to do this, I would of understand."

"Damn it babe, you just don't get it." He said as he threw his arms in the air.

"Well help me understand." I said getting sick of his bitchiness.

"I'm in love with you and the thought of you with him makes me sick. I was hoping that if we spent more time together you would love me too." He said as I just stared at him.

"Jake I do love you, but I love Edward more. I know that is a shitty thing to say." I said looking at my feet.

"It is a shitty thing to hear, but one of the things that I love about you is that you are so honest." He said nudging me with his elbow. I had to laugh at that because it felt like the amount of tension that was between was gone. "I will do my best to get along with your friend."

"Thanks." I said. I wanted to say that his name was Edward, but I figured that him saying my friend was better than Amish douche or Amish dick.

I was so excited that I didn't know if I was going to be able to sleep. I knew that I still needed to go to Walmart and pick out some toiletries for him, but I was dropping Jake off first.

EPOV

The year was finally over and I was going to be with Bella! The last six months were so long. The winter was so harsh, the worst I have ever seen. During the month of January the warmest the temperature got was twenty. My father was afraid that we would lose a horse, but thank the lord we didn't. We were able to heat the barn better than we have in years.

I received many letters from Bella telling me about how here life was going. She had told me that she had one of her best Christmas's. She was very happy with her father's girlfriend. I smiled when she said that she was like her mom, and she needed that.

My feelings for Bella never subsided. She was in my every thought. I looked at our pictures every day. Alice came to my room one night and I didn't have time to hide the pictures.

"You aren't coming back are you?" She had asked me as she looked at the pictures.

"I don't know."

"I would understand if you didn't, I just wanted you to know that." She told me as I hugged her. "I would leave if Jasper asked me."

"Thanks Alice I appreciate that. Will you still try to come by the creek so that I can see you?" I asked her knowing that I was going to miss her.

"Yes, I want to see how you are going to dress." She said very excited.

"Bella said that she was going to buy me some clothes, but I'm not sure what I will like." I told her as I looked at the picture.

"The first Friday you are there you have to be a the creek." She said matter a factly.

"I can do that." I said as I chuckled at her.

My mom was the worst. The closer the day came the more she stuck by my side. She would come out to the barn with me just to talk.

"What do you plan on doing with Bella." She had asked.

"She said that she would try and teach me how to drive."

"Please be careful." She said as I laughed out loud. My mom was becoming more of my friend than my mother. "Your father doesn't want me talking to you about this, but I feel that I should talk to you about this." She said blushing and that made me nervous, I have never seen her blush.

"What is it?" I asked as I sat on a hay bale.

"In the outside world kids your age have intercourse like it is a hobby."

"Mom you don't have to talk to me about this." I said cutting her off. I knew it was rude, but who talks to their mom about sex.

"I do, just hear me out." She said taking a deep breath. I watched as she pulled something square out of her apron pocket. "If you and Bella happen to engage... together use this." She said handing me the foiled wrapped thing.

"What is it?" I asked as I looked at it.

"Your father said it is a condom. Emmett got it from some Englishmen that he works with. Um, I guess you..."

"Mom I know what it is now." I said as I felt myself blush.

"How... I didn't know... well that's good." My mother stammered her words. I found this funny because my mother has always been so fluent.

"Do we have to keep talking about this?" I asked not wanting to continue the conversation.

"No I'm sorry for embarrassing you." She said still blushing.

"I'm fine. Bella told me about these once." I said not knowing if I should of told her that we had, had such and inappropriate conversation.

"Okay then, good to know." She said as she walked out of the barn. I think I laughed to myself for an hour after that.

Things between Bella and I were rocky for a while. I went through so many emotions I didn't know which one was the worst. I think the worst was the jealousy that I was feeling. Knowing that she was sleeping in some other guy's bed made my blood boil. I felt like I hated him. I hated that his hands and lips were on her. I hated that he could cuddle her, I hated him because I wanted to be him. My feelings were hurt knowing that she was sticking to her word and dating other people. I couldn't handle knowing that she was with someone else. My heart broke that day, her words repeated in my head a thousand time. 'I'm with Jake.' I would have the same dream over and over. Bella and I would be together and then he would come in and I would lose her to him. I wanted to be enough for her. I wanted to be her one and only. I was surprised when my mother confronted me about why I was so upset.

"I can't talk to you about this, I'm sorry." I told her as the lump in my throat grew.

"Yes you can. I know something is wrong and you aren't talking to anyone." She said as I turned my back to her as the tears fell from my eyes.

"Bella is with that Jake kid." I told her as I heard her gaps. "I haven't talked to her sense she told me, I don't know what to say."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with her?"

"Yes, more than anything."

"Dose she love and want you?"

"She says she does." I told her as I hung my head as more tears came. "She has been leaving letters in the box for the last month and I just don't know what to say to her."

"What do the letters say?" She asked and I didn't know if I wanted to tell her, but I was feeling better talking to her about it.

"Mostly that she loves me and that she wants me not him. I don't want her to say that just to please me." I told her as she wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Edward I don't think she is saying it to please you. You went months without seeing her, it was bound to happen. Is she still with him?" She asked as she rubbed my back.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her." I told her for the second time.

"How do you expect to work things out with her if you don't talk to her?" She asked me as I wiped my tears away.

"When did you get so smart?" I asked her as she swatted my arm. "I'm just kidding, thanks for making me talk." I told her as she kissed my cheek.

"I love you." She said to me and I smiled.

"I love you."

I finished what I was doing and went inside and wrote her a letter:

Bella, I want to be completely honest with you. I love you more than life. You are my life. When you left you took my heart with you. I want to be with you and I want this to work. I love you enough to say that if Jake is who you want than I will let you. You don't know how hard that is for me to say, but it is true. I am so full of jealousy right now that it hurts. I want to be him. If I was him there would be no questioning this.

I hated you for weeks. I knew there was a chance that you would see someone else, but I didn't think that it would happen. I was hoping to be enough for you. One of the things that I am most angry about is that you didn't tell me sooner. You have always been so honest and all winter you didn't tell me. At this time I don't want any information on the two of you, but one day I may ask and I want you to be honest with me when the time comes.

Bella Swan I love you for everyday of forever and I can't wait to see you. I just need to know what is going on through your head. I want you to be nothing but honest with me. I can handle it I swear. I love you forever. Edward.

It only took her a day to write me back saying that she and Jacob were no longer together. That was the happiest day of my life. She wanted me and only me and that meant the world to me. I saw her the following Friday at the creek and at first I would have to say that it was very awkward.

"Why are you acting so strange?" I had asked her as we sat in the grass.

"I just feel weird, like I cheated on you or something." She said as she pulled grass out of the ground.

"Don't feel like that. I knew this could of happened. I'm not mad I swear." I told her taking her hand. "I love you." I said as I kissed her knuckles.

"I love you." She said as she leaned into me. After that we were back to our old selves. Now it was the day before I was leaving and I couldn't concentrate on anything, but the fact that I was going to be at her house within hours. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. Bella was picking me up on her way home from school and time just wasn't going fast enough.

At dinner I knew my mother was feeling upset about the next day. She made my favorite meal of chicken and corn bread. Alice even looked sad, my father, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Dinner was unusually quiet. We went to the living room and sat and all I could do was bounce my leg and stare out the window.

"Edward." My father said bringing me out of my thoughts. "I won't be here in the afternoon when you leave, so this is for you." He said with a smile as he handed me an envelope.

"What is it?" I asked as I opened it.

"It's some money. It's not a lot, it was all I had." He said as a smile grew on my face.

"Thanks so much, are you sure?" I asked not wanting to take from my family.

"You are our son we wouldn't have it any other way." He said as I smile and put the money in my pocket.

"Now I just want to say that I hope you have fun, and please remember who you are. The outside world can be harsh, just keep a level head." He said as I nodded in understanding. I wasn't sure to what he meant by that, but I was sure I was going to find out.

"Be safe and have as much fun as you possibly can." My mother told me as Bella pulled into the drive way. As she hugged me I could see the tears in her eyes. I didn't like seeing her like this and for the moment my excitement didn't seem to matter. "Bella it is good to see you again." I heard my mother say as she pulled from our hug and embraced Bella. It took everything in me not to pull her away.

"I've missed you. How have you been?" She asked my mother who was holding her tears off.

"I've been good. I've missed you as well. How was school?" My mother asked as I stood there itching to leave.

"Well I passed everything so I will be a junior." She said very excited.

"Good for you." My mother said pulling her into another hug.

"Have fun big brother." Alice said as she pulled me into a hug.

"I will." I told her as she hugged Bella.

"Okay well we won't keep you any longer I know you are anxious to get going." My mother said as she hugged the both of us again. "Take care of my little boy." She said as Bella laughed and said she would.

"Love you both." My mother and Alice said in unison.

"Love you too." Bella and I both yelled and then laughed together.

As we got in to the car Bella told me to buckle up and we were off towards her house. I was so excited to be in her car, listening to music with the windows down. I took my hat off and I felt like I belonged.

"Comfy?" Bella asked as I smiled at her.

"Very. So what are we doing first?" I said as my excitement was about to boil over.

please review and let me know what you think!

There will NOT be a post next week I am going out of state! yeaaaa me!


	16. Chapter 17

SURPRISE!

Had an amazing trip... well minus the 2 hours we got lost but it was all good lol hope you all enjoy this chapter...

I own nothing :(

EPOV

"This is your room." She told me as I looked around the small bedroom. "Your clothes are in here." Bella said as she opened a small closet that had a few clothes hanging and there was a small plastic dresser on the floor. "I know there isn't much, but we can get whatever you need later." She said as I pulled her into a hug.

"Thanks, this is all so great." I told her as she smiled leaning in kissing me. Just as I went to deepen the kiss I heard music. "What's that?"

"My phone." She said as she pulled out her cell phone and answered it. "Hey." She said into the phone. "No, we have plans tonight, but we could tomorrow." Bella said as she sat on my bed. "Okay cool, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Who was that?" I asked as she stood to put the phone back into her tiny shorts.

"Ang, she wanted to know if we wanted to go out to dinner with her and Ben. So that is what we are doing tomorrow." She said as I got excited. "Here let me show you the bathroom." She said as she took my hand. The bathroom was small, I'm not sure what I was expecting. "This is yours." She said handing me a bottle of Axe hair and body wash. "Smell it, I love it." She said as I opened the bottle and smelled the aroma of the soap.

"I like that it smells so fresh." I told her as her smile beamed. She continued to show me where the towels were and my toothbrush. I couldn't get the smile off my face as she showed me around the house. Everything that she had done for me meant so much, that I didn't know how to put into words.

"Okay, so if you want you can go take a shower change your clothes and I am going to start dinner." She said giving me a kiss and then leaving me in the bedroom. "Oh and there is a radio in the bathroom so you can listen to music while you shower. It is set to my favorite station, but feel free to change it." She said as she shut the door.

I sat on the bed and just looked around. I couldn't get enough of everything. I walked over to the window and opened it wide, I loved fresh air. I smiled when I seen a radio on the night stand. She had thought of everything. I went to the closet and looked into the small dresser and found underwear and what looked to be pajamas. I pulled out a pair of tan colored shorts, a gray t-shirt, and a pair of underwear.

As I started the shower and stood under the spray of the water I chuckled at how different I felt and had no idea why. I felt like I should be doing something. Bella was cooking dinner and I was enjoying a shower.

I used the towel I pulled out of the cabinet to dry off with and then started to get dressed. The shorts fit, but were a little baggy and they hung on my hips. The brim of my underwear were showing, I wondered it that was the way they fit. I put the gray shirt on and looked in the mirror and smile. I thought I looked good. I ran my fingers through my messy hair, I thought to myself to get a hair cut. I put on the deodorant hat was the same sent as the body wash. I put all the dirty laundry in the tall basket that was in the bathroom and made my way downstairs.

When I reached the kitchen I stood in the doorway with my hands in the pockets feeling a little nervous about what she would think of the clothes. I watched as she maneuvered around the kitchen, it was so sexy.

"What do you think?" I said as she spun around.

"You scared..." She started to say, but froze when she saw me. "You look great!" She said as her smile grew. "Do the clothes fit okay?"

"Yeah the shorts are a little baggy, but other than that, I really like them." I told her as she walked over to me.

"They are suppose to be." She said with a giggle as she put her hands on my waist and kissed me. "You are so hot." She said with a smile as she kissed me again. I placed my hands on each side of her face and deepen the kiss.

"I've missed you so much." I said as I held her to my chest.

"I've missed you. I'm so happy you are here." She said as she pulled away and moved back to the stove. "Help yourself to anything that you want." She told me. "There are drinks in the fridge and snacks in the cupboard." I just simply nodded my head. I didn't know what I was.

"What are you making?"

"I'm making lasagua" She said as she drained some noddles. "Have you ever had it before?"

"No I don't think so."

"It is one of my favorite things to make. It is just noddles, sauce, meat and cheese. Oh and we are also having garlic bread and salad."

"That sounds really good." I said as I smiled at her as I watched her put together dinner. "Is there anything that I can do?" I asked feeling a little useless.

"No I'm all set, you can watch TV or something I just have to put this together and let it sit. I think it taste better that way." She said as she started to put the dish together.

"Is it okay if I just hang out here with you?"

"Of course. Are you sure you don't want a drink?" She asked opening the refrigerator. "We have tea, soda, milk and juice." I didn't know what I wanted.

"I'm okay for right now." I told her as she pulled out a can of soda and popped it open.

"Here try this, it is my favorite." She said handing me the can. I took a sip and it tickled my nose.

"That's pretty good." I told her. I did like it. She smiled and turned back to what she was doing. Before I knew it I had drank the whole can of soda and I felt a huge burp coming. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't and let out a loudest burp of my life. I heard Bella laugh and I said excuse me.

"That was a pretty good one." She said still laughing. She was finally finished and he went and hung out in the living room. She turned on the TV and flipped through all of the channels twice. "I hate watching TV there is never nothing on." She said as she settled into the couch. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure that would be cool." I said as she jumped off the couch. She put a disc into the player and then sat back on the couch. "What movie are we watching?"

"The Proposal. It has my favorite actress in it. This should be a really good movie" She said as I stretched my arm along the back of the couch.

We snuggled on the couch sitting as close to one another as we could. I draped my arm over her shoulder and she held my hand. The movie was funny and I wanted to watch another one. The clock on the wall said it was four o'clock and Bella got off the couch saying she was putting dinner in the oven.

"My dad gets home about five thirty, Leah will be here anytime. Dinner takes about an hour to cook so I wanted to get that in the oven." She said as she sat at the computer in the living room.

"I thought you had a computer in your room?" I asked remembering from the last time I was in her room.

"I do, my dad and Leah use this one." She said as she logged on to something. "Come here." She said as she stood from the chair and let me sit. I was surprised when she sat on my lap. "We are going to make you a face book." She said as she pulled out her cell phone and said smile taking a picture of us. She fiddled with her phone for a few minutes and then put it down. "You need to think of a password that you will remember." She told me and I drew a blank.

"I don't know what to put." I told her as she smiled.

"It's okay we will just put your mom's name. It will be one word. Oh and I already set you up with an email, I will show you how to use everything." She said as I started to feel a little overwhelmed by all of the information that she was giving me. She showed me how to log into my account and added herself as one of my friends. She also added Ang as one of my friends and she quickly accepted the request.

"Honey I'm home!" I heard a sweet voice call.

"We're in here." Bella said as she got off my lap. "Leah this is Edward. Edward this is Leah." She said as I stood to great the women who was becoming her mother.

"It's nice to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you." She said as she hugged me.

"Same here Bella has said all good things." I told her as she smiled.

"Well it's good to have you here. Now don't be shy this is your home now."

"Thank you I appreciate that." I said sincerely. I loved that she said that this was my home.

"Are you making your lasagua?" Leah said sounding very excited. All Bella did was nod with a smile. "Oh I'm so hungry!" She said with a giggle. "I'm going to go call your father and take a shower. I'll be back down in a little while." She said as I sat back down at the computer getting the hang of it.

"You liking face book?" Bella asked as she rubbed my shoulders.

"Yeah this is very interesting. That feels so good." I told her as I hung my head at the relaxing feeling. I heard her giggle and kiss the back of my neck, I shivered.

"Leah has a face book too if you want to add her. You can find her under my friend list."

"Don't you have to get on here to confirm that we are friends?"

"No I did it from my phone." She told me as I went to her profile and smiled when I saw that the picture that popped up was the picture of us that she had just taken.

"I want some pictures of us." I told her as I scrolled through her friend list.

"We will add them later. I have them saved to my lap top." She told me as she rubbed my shoulder more. "Oh I know what we can do." She said as she sat on my lap and logged into her profile and did something with the picture and then logged back to my page and there the photo was. The internet was a very interesting thing.

After we played on the internet, she said she was going to finish making dinner. I wanted to help, I hated doing nothing. She let me cut up vegetables and cheese for the salad. It was fun working beside her making dinner. It was something I have never done before. I did get nervous when I heard Chief Swan pull into the driveway.

"Dad, you remember Edward?" Bella asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yup, Edward how have you been?"

"Good, sir, it's good to see you again." I said trying not to stutter my words.

"You can call him Charlie, Edward." Leah said coming into the kitchen,

"What I like watching the kid sweat.." He had said as the girls started laughing. "You can call me Charlie." He said as I nodded. I knew I going to avoid saying his name directly.

"Well dinner is done." Bella said as she placed the bread on the table. I watch as Charlie sat at the head of the table, Bella and Leah sat on each side of him. I sat at the opposite side and watched as they all made their plates. I noticed that none of them prayed before they ate so I just said a quick thank you for everything that I had in my life.

"So what did you do for your last day of school?" Charlie asked Bella.

"Nothing." She replied and he just let it there and gave her a head nod. "How was your day?"

"Slow." He said. "How bout you hun?" He asked Leah.

"Really good. Got a lot done." She told him. They really didn't go into depth with their conversations.

"What do you do?" I asked hoping to make more of the conversation.

"Oh I'm a published author and I am also an editor."

"That sounds very interesting. What kind of books do you write?"

"Trashy romance." Charlie said with a chuckle.

"What's trashy about it?" I asked confused.

"I'll let you read a chapter and you will find out for yourself."

"Isabella! I told you weren't to read them." Charlie said cutting her off.

"Charlie she is almost seventeen, I was writing that stuff at her age." She said as Charlie's eyes popped out of his head.

"Yeah dad, and it's not like I don't all ready don't know what is in those books. Actually it is more like an instruction manual." She said as her and Leah laughed.

"You two are going to put me in an early grave." Charlie said as he chuckled at them. I smiled and relaxed into the family dinner that I was feeling very a part of. "So what are your plans for the night?"

"Just hanging out in my room. I'm teaching Edward how to use the internet." Charlie didn't seem to be phased by her saying we were going to be in her room.

"What about tomorrow?"

"I think we are going to go shopping and then we are going out to eat with Ang and Ben."

"Shopping for what?"

"Whatever."

"Do you need money?"

"No Renee is sucking up she gave me a few extra hundred."

"He will need something to wear to the wedding."

"Well I guess that is what we are shopping for then."

"Are they always like this?" I asked Leah.

"Yup. It is quite humorous to watch." She said as we laughed together.

"What do I need for the wedding?" I asked her as Charlie and Bella sat there done with their conversation.

"Just something nice. Button down shirt and pants." Okay I think I could handle that.

"Okay we are going upstairs, do you need anything?" Bella asked standing up.

"Edward, my rules are simple, you sleep in your own bed." Charlie said.

"I understand, Chief Swan." I said not feeling right about calling him Charlie.

"Charlie, kid, please call me Charlie." He said as I nervously laughed.

"Okay." I said as Bella pulled my hand to follow her.

Once we were to her room, she flicked on the light and we sat on her bed. I really didn't know what to do. She tossed me a book and told me to read chapter ten. I looked at the the front and back cover and realized that it was one of Leah's books.

"You read that I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm just going to take a quick body shower. Will you be okay in here?"

"I think I can handle a few minutes by myself." I said as she smiled.

"If my phone rings you can answer it."

"Okay." I said as she gave me a quick kiss.

"I'm glad you are here."

"Me too." I said as we kissed again.

She walked out and I leaned back on her head board and put my feet up. I opened to chapter ten and started to read. _The way he slid his tongue into my mouth told me he was going to take control. My breathing became heavy as he roamed his hands over my body. I could feel my rosy nipples harden and my panties were becoming wet. The way he pressed his hard, large manhood against my over heated body made me moan. I wanted this I wanted more of him. I was relieved when I felt him pull my shirt above my head, I wanted him and I wanted him now. He moved his lips down my neck, leaving trails of hot kisses all the way to my breast. As his lip sucked one of my nipples into his mouth I moaned and bucked my hips into him._

_ "Hhhmmm, some one like this." He chuckled out as he pinched the one he was suck making his way over to the other. As he worked my mounds over, he undid my jeans and slid them down my legs. I felt him run his finger over my wet folds as he placed his face between my legs. He spread my legs further apart sticking one finger into my tight hole. It took everything I had not to cum as I felt his tongue run over my clit. I moaned liked a porn start begging for more. As he flicked his tongue constantly over my clit he added another finger into my hole. I couldn't hold back any longer and came all over his hand._

I couldn't read anymore. I felt like I was invading someone's privacy. One thing was sure, Bella was right it was an instruction manual. I had all of these thoughts now of me doing those things to Bella. I wondered if she would like that. I had to think of something else because I was becoming aroused. I closed my eyes and thought of the kitchen chair, that always works.

"Read anything good?" Bella asked as she walked back into the bedroom.

"I understand now why it is trashy." I said as she laughed laying next to me in her bed. I wrapped my arms around her feeling as if this was where I belonged. This was what I really missed the most. She had her head on my chest and I kissed her hair.

"How far did you get?" She asked as I chuckled at her.

"Just a couple paragraphs." I told her as she laughed. I wanted to ask her if that was something that she wanted to do, but I couldn't form the right words.

"Oh!" She said out of nowhere and jumps out of bed. I watched as she made her way to the closet and she pulled out a wrapped gift. "I bought this for you on your birthday." She said as she sat back on the bed with me.

"Bella you have already bought me so much stuff." I told her taking the gift. I felt greedy because all I wanted to do was rip it open.

"I don't care, I love you and you will love this."

"I love you too, and thank you." I said as I leaned in and kissed her lips. I opened the gift and inside the box was... "What is it?" I asked feeling stupid.

"It's an ipod. It hold music and I downloaded all different kinds of music for you. Listen to them a few times and then whatever you liked best, we can put more of that kind of music on." She said very excited.

"This is pretty great. Thank you so much. Will you show me how to use it?"

"Of course." She said putting an ear bud in my ear. She sat in my lap and showed me how to work the ipod. I think it was the best gift that she could of ever giving me. We played with the music gadget for over an hour. She grabbed her lap top and did her thing on the computer while I listened to music. Her phone started to go off so I picked it up and saw that it said she had a new message.

"You have a new message." I told her as she smiled.

"Wanna learn to text?" She asked, I nodded my head yes.

"Fuck you Bella I see where we stand." I read aloud as she snatched the phone out of my hand. "Who is that?" I asked getting mad at what I read on the screen.

"I'm sorry it's no one." She said hiding her face as she texted back.

"Don't lie to me." I said as I felt my anger boiling.

"I'm not. Please just leave it alone."

"No, I will not leave it alone." I told her as she took a deep breath.

"It's Jake."

"Should of known. Who does he think he is talking to you like that?"

"Just leave it alone." She said as her phone went off again.

"What does that one say?" I asked trying to read it, but she kept moving away. "Please tell me." I asked softly.

"It's not a big deal." She said trying to laugh it off.

"It is to me." I said in a pleading tone.

"Ang told him we have plans with them tomorrow." She said.

"And that gave him right to talk to you like that?"

"When I left school I told him that I would call him later and I didn't."

"And that still doesn't answer my question."

"He's just mad, he'll get over it." She told me as her phone went off again and this time it was a phone call. "Hello?" She said getting quiet and not saying anything. I could hear someone at the other end of the line getting loud.

"This is dumb." I said as I lounged back in the bed.

"No, will you stop?" She said. "No!" She half yelled. "No, you are not talking to him!" She said a little louder.

"I'll talk." I told her as she stared at me.

"No he is only going to be a jerk to you." She told me. "Fine be rude and I will kick your ass." She said into the phone before she handed it to me.

"Hello?" I said trying to sound pleasant.

"Look, Bella has friend, you can't keep her away the entire time that you are here." He said to me and I laughed.

"I don't plan on it." I said to him. He grew quiet, I don't think her knew what to say.

"Bella and I are friends. I don't know how much she told you, but I love that girl and if you hurt her I will fucking kick your ass and I don't care if you are Amish." He said breathing heavy into the phone.

"First of all, Bella can have as many friends as she wants. Secondly, she is the love of life and if I leave she goes with me and there is nothing you can do about that. Thirdly, talk to her like you did in those text I will be the one throwing punches." I said feeling the anger boiling over.

"Can't wait." He said as she hung up.

"I don't think I like him." I told her.

Next will be an insight of what Bella what she is thinking...

Let me know what ya think

Dose anyone know how to make the banners for stories let me know


	17. Chapter 18

Sorry for the small delay I am working with a new wonderful women... thanks kat for your help

thanks so much for your review they keep me writing

I own nothing

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BPOV

The whole day had gone great and now I was sick to my stomach. Jake and Edward were talking about fighting one another and I didn't like it. I didn't know how to fix this, why did I have to be so selfish? If I would of never taking an interest in Jacob this never would of happened.

I love Edward with all my heart, there will never be anyone else but him. I felt so stupid for things that had happened this past year. I was starting to wish I would of stayed true to my feelings. I was going to make things right, I just had to figure out how...

"Please don't ever fight him," I told Edward as I tried to cuddle into him. He was very tense and rigid. I ran my hand over his bare leg. I really liked his legs. They were muscular and they weren't overly hairy.

"Bella I will do whatever I have to do to defend you," He said in a calm voice.

"I just don't want you fighting you are better than that."

"Honestly, you have no say. If I feel that he is being disrespectful towards you, I will not stand by and let it happen. If he feels the need to throw punches, I am going to throw them right back," he said as I sat up trying to to look at his face so I could read his expression.

"I hate it when people fight. And I don't want any one fighting over me. I will fix this, I promise. If I wasn't so stupid this never would of happened," I said as the tears started to form in my eyes.

"Bells we are both young and we are still figuring out life. Everything happens for a reason, right? Well maybe there was a reason why you were meant to date him," he said fiddling with the iPod.

"I'm really starting to hate that saying,." I said as he shrugged. I knew he was mad at me even if he wasn't going to say so. The rest of the night was quiet. Around eleven my parents came into my room and said goodnight. Edward took that as it was time for him to go to his room.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said to me as he gave me a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you more," I said as he smiled and kissed me again.

"That's impossible," he said with a smile as he left my room. I laid in bed and tossed and turned. I was going to fix the tension between Edward and I.

EPOV

I hadn't even been at Bella's house for a full twenty four hours and already I was feeling frustrated. I was hoping that Jacob would just stay out of my way. I have only ever been in one fight in my life. I was defending Alice from an older boy who took his role of being a man to a whole new level. He was trying to claim Alice when she was ten. He was a disgusting pig and we went punch for punch until Emmett broke us up. When I told him what had happened he got a punch in himself. Needless to say he was shunned and never bothered Alice again.

Two of the things I hate in life are when some one disrespects someone else and people who think they are better than every one else. Jacob was both. I hated that Bella found something appealing about him. I just couldn't find sleep. All I could do was toss and turn. I wanted to talk to Bella about what I was feeling, but I didn't know if what I was feeling was normal. That and there was no way I was going to fight with her on my first full day here.

I woke up to the sun beating on my face and I felt so comfortable. I looked to the clock and it read nine fifteen. My eyes bugged out of my head, I couldn't believe that I had slept so late. I made my way to the bathroom and I was pretty sure that Bella was still sleeping. After taking care of my needs I headed downstairs for a drink and that was when I noticed a note by the phone.

_Bella and Edward, have a great day and call if you change your plans. Love Leah_, it said and I smiled. Leah was great for Bella. I headed up the stairs and I still heard nothing from Bella's room. I opened the door and found her sleeping. I had to chuckle at the sight, she was on her stomach, her shirt was up under her arms exposing her back and her butt crack was showing from where her shorts had rolled down. I walked over to her and ran my fingers up and down her spine. I smiled when her body broke out in goose bumps. As I crawled into her bed she moved herself onto her side as I pulled her to my chest.

"Edward?" She asked. Well who else would it be? I thought to myself.

"Yes?"

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Yes."

"Will you take your shirt off," she asked hiding her face in my chest.

"Yes, but why," I asked sitting up so I could look at her face.

"Um, because I have never seen you without something on," she told me as she blushed of embarrassment. I couldn't help but to laugh at her. "You don't have to," she said quickly and then hid her face again in her pillow. I just sat there for a minute before I pulled the shirt off. I felt a little uncomfortable, but when she looked at me, it just felt right. She scanned my body up and down and her cheeks held a pink tint to them the whole time.

"Have you never seen a guy with his shirt off before?" I asked.

"No... I mean yes I have, but in a way it seems like this is a little wrong and I feel like if we get caught we could get in trouble. I know that we won't get in trouble, but at the same time you are still Amish... so you know it is kinda weird," she babbled, and I think she didn't even realize that she was running her hand up and down my stomach.

"Bella, I am not Amish when I am with you, I'm Edward and you are Bella. No more my world, your world. This is just our world now," I said to her as she got up on her knees and hugged me. The feel of her soft skin against my chest was sending my thoughts in all kinds of directions. I wrapped my arms around her small frame and ran my hand up and down her exposed ribs.

She pulled back and smiled at me. She laid back down on her bed and smiled up at me not taking her eyes off my bare chest. All I could do was smile back at her. My eyes roamed her body, but froze on her chest because I could see that her nipples were sticking out. I wanted to avert my eyes away, but I just couldn't.

"Are you cold?" I asked her trying to pull my eyes away from her breast.

"Not really why?"

"Um... well... because." I said finally looking away and waving my hand at her breast. She looked down at her little mounds and then shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah that happens when my sexy boyfriend rubs his hands on me," she said as I blushed knowing that I affected her body that way. "Um, ya know, you can touch them if you want. You don't have to. I'm just saying that if you want to I won't say no," she said as we both blushed.

As I laid down next to her I kissed her cheek and then nuzzled into her neck. I had no clue what I was doing and my heart was racing so fast that I could barely hear anything. I placed my hand on her stomach and rubbed lazy circles around her belly button. I moved my face toward her and planted kisses on her lips before I deepened the kiss. That made it easier for me to move my hands on her body. As my hand made contact with her breast I felt her nipple harden again. As I played with her nipple she moaned and the sound of her voice went straight to my penis. I pulled back from the kiss dropped my hand from her chest and took a couple of deep breathes.

"Are you okay?" she asked while touching me, and that wasn't helping my situation.

"Bella, you can't touch me right now. I'm sorry." I said breathlessly as I tried to cover myself.

"It's okay, I can take care of it for you if you want me to," she said and I didn't know how to answer her. "You will be forgiven for all your sins once you are baptized right?" she asked as I nodded my head at her. "Okay," she said as she started to kiss me moving my hand away from myself. I felt her hand rub me on top of the pajama bottoms I was wearing and I couldn't hold back the moan that came out. I felt Bella smile into my lips.

I couldn't take my hands off of her as she rubbed me. The way I was fondling her perfect mounds made her nipples pop out of her chest. I was more shocked when I felt myself moving my penis back and forth on Bella's hand. I started to think that there was something wrong with me. Intercourse was for reproducing only, but my mother said kids in the outside world did it like a hobby, so which one was right? I was pulled out of my internal dialog when I felt Bella slip her hand down my pants and grasp my length. She started to pump her hand up and down and my head snapped down to look at what she was doing to me. I didn't know what came over me, but I felt a tightness in my lower stomach.

"Faster." I said without thinking and she started to move her hand faster. "Oh my God!" I groaned and then I became quickly mortified by the fact that I just took the Lord's name in vain and then on top of that I ejaculated not only all over her hand, but her bare thigh and stomach. "Bella I am so sorry," I told her as she picked up my shirt and wiped herself with it.

"For what?" she asked with a little giggle.

"For everything that just happened," I said.

"Why would you be sorry?" she asked as I stuffed myself back into my pants.

"Not only did I get aroused, I took the Lord's name in vain and I ejaculated on you," I said as I could see that she was trying not to laugh.

"Okay, I know you said that there was no more my world your world, but everything that just happened is normal. If you didn't react that way I would think something was wrong with me. And you saying oh my God is no big deal to me." She said as we sat there and stared at one another. "Did you like it?" She asked me.

"Yeah," I said trying to hide my smile. "I really liked it. I feel really relaxed," I told her as she smiled at me.

"I know this is all new to you, but boys your age usually jerk it three to five times a day."

"Really?" I asked a little floored with her saying it.

"Well I don't really know how often they do it, but I'm sure it is at least once a day," she said as she got out of bed. I laid in her bed taking in what she was telling me. I was feeling more comfortable without my shirt on and liking it. It was freeing.

"So you are okay with everything?"

"Yeah, it's just now I have to go wash your spunk off of me," she said with a laugh.

"My spunk? What is that?" I asked laughing at the new word I was learning.

"When you came, the jiz, that is your spunk."

"So you're saying that my semen is what you are calling spunk?"

"Yes," she said as she started to laugh. "Don't call it semen, it sounds funny," she said as she gathered the rest of her clothes.

"So I call it jiz or spunk?"

"Or you can just call it cum, that is the most common," she said as she sat on the bed. "We don't have to do stuff like that if you don't want to," she said as she laid on my stomach. I smiled at her as I played with her hair.

"I want to do those things with you, but part of me feels wrong for wanting this," I told her as she nodded her head.

"I feel a little weird talking about this with you."

"Why?" I asked her as I ran my fingers through her tangled hair.

"I feel like you should be saying these things to me." She said as she took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "I would have sex with you in a heart beat. I love you, I just don't want you to feel pressured in any way," she told me sincerely. Thank you sounded like the wrong thing to say so I just smiled and nodded my head.

The morning was uneventful. We both took showers and then had cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast. Let me tell you, that was so good. I helped her do up our dishes and pick up the house. The day was like nothing I was use to. We watched TV, a lot of TV.

Around two o'clock we headed to the mall to go shopping. I really didn't know what I was expecting, but I was so excited. As we walked through the crowd I watched how other couples interacted with one another. I saw one couple making out on a bench and people just passed them like they see it every day. I felt awkward just holding her hand for all to see. I couldn't imagine showing that kind of affection in public. Another couple were walking and the guy had his hand on the girls bottom and every time he would squeeze she would giggle.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked giving my hand a little squeeze.

"Yeah, this all just so strange. Did you see that couple back there kissing for all to see?" I asked as she giggled.

"Yeah you will see that once in a while. I'm not really into the whole pda thing. Well I mean I wouldn't mind if you gave me a little kiss or whatever, but please don't stick your tongue in my mouth," she said as I started to laugh.

"I promise to never stick my tongue down your throat," I said as she laughed with me and let go of my hand so she could hug me.

"Well I didn't say never... just not at the mall or any wheres public," she said looking up to me with loving eyes and I couldn't help but to kiss her. "That is the perfect way for public," she said as we held hands once again.

We walked into Old Navy and I was in awe of all of the clothes. I have been inside a Walmart before, but this was unreal.

"So what do we need?" I asked her.

"Whatever you want and we have to get you something to wear to the wedding." She said rolling her eyes.

"What are you wearing?"

"Ugh.. I'm in the wedding so I will be in a god awful dress." She said as she looked through shirts.

"Is it really that bad?"

"No I just hate wearing anything dressy. I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl," she said with a smile.

"Well I'm excited to see you all dressed up," I said with a smile on my face. We did some shopping and I picked out a plane white golf shirt, that was what Bella called it. I was once again feeling overwhelmed by all of the information that she was telling me. I didn't know all the different kinds of names there was for clothes. It was insane of all the different kinds of pants there were and shirts. I found myself liking plain t-shirts and shorts. Bella said that me wearing a pair of khaki pants would be good enough for the wedding. I had to take her word for it, I had no idea what I was doing when it came to fashion.

The way home was anything but quiet. We had so much to talk about.

"Alice wanted me to go to the creek tomorrow. Do we have any plans?"

"Nope. I would love to see her," she said keeping her eyes on the road. "So do you want to learn how to drive today or do you want to save that for another day?" she asked as she smiled at me.

"Let's save that for another day. I'm a little nervous," I told her.

"Oh I have an idea! If it would make you feel better, you can read the manual that I have from when I got my license," she told me with a smile on her face.

"I think that would be a very good idea," I said as I placed my hand on her thigh. I didn't know if I should of done that while she was driving, but I just liked touching her. After everything that had happened this morning the urge to touch her was growing even more.

We made it back to the house in time to get ready to go out to eat. Bella and I were meeting her friends at a place called Denny's. She said that this was the 'it' place for teenagers. As we walked in Bella was texting Ang to see where they were sitting, we quickly found them. When we arrived at the booth I stepped aside so Bella could sit first.

"Hi Edward, it's good to see you again," Ang said to me with a sweet smile.

"You too, how have you been?" I asked trying to be polite.

"I've been good. Do you remember Ben?" she asked me as I extended my greetings to him.

"So how's the real world been treating ya?" Ben asked me.

"So far so good," I said as Bella put her hand on my bare knee.

"After the end of every school year we have a guys night, would you like to come?" Ben asked

"When is it?"

"This Saturday at my house, my parents are leaving for the weekend," He told me and I didn't know what to tell him. I was grateful for Bella,

"If you want to go you can," she said with a smile.

"Sure count me in," I said getting excited. Ben and I were becoming fast friends and he seemed very respectful. Conversation was light and comfortable, and I really enjoyed myself. The food wasn't the best, but it was still good. I found out that I did like french fries. They were the best.

I wanted to do everything I could and as fast as I could, but I wanted to take my time as well. I was hoping that I would fit in with Ben and his friends and I was wondering if Jacob would be among them. I would feel rude if I said I couldn't go because he was there. Another part of me was wanting to go and confront him to show that I wasn't scared of him. I wanted to face him and show him that I was anything but a wimp.

"Did you kids have fun?" I heard Leah say as Bella and I got to the top of the stairs. Both Bella and I stood in the door way of their bedroom.

"Yeah it was nice. Why are you in bed so early?" Bella asked.

"Just relaxing," Charlie said. "So what's up for the weekend?"

"Oh nothing much," Bella said.

"Do you have any plans?" Leah asked.

"Kinda, sorta, not really," Bella said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Why do you do that?" I asked Bella. All she did was shrug her shoulders. "We are hanging out with my sister for a little while tomorrow and then I am hanging out with the boys on Saturday."

"Well thanks for letting us know," Leah said with a smile.

"I think we will get a lot out of him this summer," Charlie said and before I could say that I didn't understand Bella was pulling me away.

"What the hell Edward!" she said as she shut the door. "You can't do that!" She said as she pulled her shirt off.

"Do what? Why is your shirt off?"

"Because I am changing into bed clothes. You can't be telling the 'rents what we are doing all the time. If we aren't leaving the town all they need to know is that we are going to be out," she said putting on a tank top.

"Well hate to tell ya, but if they ask I'm going to tell them," I said as I sat on her bed.

"But Edward," She said in a whiny tone as she took her jeans off and then walked over to me. "They don't need to know everything that we are doing," She said as she stood between my legs and then ran her fingers through my hair.

"I won't lie," I told her as I enjoyed the feeling of her nails on my scalp.

"I'm not asking you lie, lets just keep it on a need to know basis," She said as I subconsciously rubbed up her bare legs. I had to laugh when she pulled my hair back so she could see my face which was resting on her chest. "Please?" She asked with a sly smile on he face.

"We'll see," I said as I started to feel bold and pulled her on my lap. Her legs straddled me as our lips met and my hands went to her hips. Bella deepened the kiss. I didn't know why, but it didn't feel natural that she was in charge and I wanted to take over. I wanted to be fearless so I did what felt natural.

My hands pushed up her shirt and she shivered when my hands touched her bare skin. Her skin was so soft and creamy I wanted to touch and kiss her all over. It was as if I couldn't get enough of her. As her shirt raised above her breast I was caught off guard when I felt skin not cloth.

"When did you take your bra off?" I asked staring at her breast as I watched her nipples harden. All she did was giggle and continue to kiss me. I ran my thumb over her hardened nipples and she moaned into my mouth. That sent me over the edge and I lost all sense of reality. I stood up with her legs wrapped around me and laid her on the bed. I looked at her sprawled out on the bed I couldn't help myself and my mouth covered her nipples and sucked.

"Oh Edward that feel so good," She moaned and I pressed my erection between her legs and bit her nipple. When she cried out in pleasure I pulled back. We were both breathing heavy as she stared at me. "Babe what's wrong?"

"You were really loud." I told her as she turned on the radio to her alarm clock. All I could do was smile.

"I like this side of you, I didn't know you had it in you." She giggled out and ran her finger nails down my chest. She bit her lip as she started to lift my shirt over my head. I sat back on my knees and watched her eyes roam my naked chest. "I love you," she said making eye contact with me.

"I love you... there is no one else for me, but you," I told her as she pulled me back to her mouth. The next hour was full of kisses, gropes and I love you's. She stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed a hold of my penis and started with the up and down motion. I moaned into her mouth. It felt so good I didn't think I was ever going to not want this feeling.

"Oh Bella that feels so good." I told her as I was sitting back on my knees and she was sitting up as we both watched her jerk me off, so she has called it.

"It's supposed to feel good," she said as I felt my stomach muscles tighten. "Just let go," she said as I watched my semen shoot out the tip all over Bella's shirt and underwear.

"I'm so sorry," I told her as I found my shirt on the bed and tried to wait my seed off of her.

"Don't worry about it I can change." she said. "Go clean yourself up and get some sleep, I'm beat," she said with a giggle.

"Are you sure?" I asked not wanting to leave her.

"Yes it is almost two in the morning I want to get some sleep," she said as she kissed me softly. "I love you and I had so much fun with you tonight."

"I really enjoyed myself too, a lot," I told her as we kissed once more and I headed for the bathroom. All I wore to bed that night was my underwear. I was beyond tired. I don't remember anything that happened after my head hit the pillow.

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Please let me know what you think!

So I have some ideas, but I want to know what you all want. Do u want Edward's time with the boys to be drama free? Or do you want a taste of him and Jake going at it. And also a little warning the next chapter will have underage drinking so if that is not your thing don't read the next chapter


	18. Chapter 19

Sorry this chapter took so long to post, but I started to lose my inspiration and I am starting to get writers block so I am hoping that I can work through this... I hope you all like it

WARNING... this chapter is not for everyone there is under age drinking talk of drug use and of course there is some lemons in this chapter so if any of this offends you bounce out now...

I own nothing

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EPOV

"Okay here are the rules," Charlie said as he and Leah were headed out of town for the weekend. "No throwing parties. Sleep in your own beds," he said as he paused and looked at Leah. All she did was shrug her shoulders. "Well that's it," he said as he placed a duffel bag on his shoulder. "I am trusting the two of you and so help me god, if I find out that you broke any of these rules I will make your summer a living hell," he said as he kissed Bella on the forehead.

Even though they fought constantly the father/daughter love between them was something I have never seen before. I knew my father loved me unconditionally, but what Charlie and Bella had was different. I couldn't explain it with words. It was something that had to be seen. Leah was called out of town due to publishing problems, so they were making a weekend of it. They were putting trust into us and I wasn't going to let them down. I was excited to some alone time with Bella and I was going to make the most of it.

"Well let's head down to the creek!" Bella sang as her parents pulled out of the driveway. I just smiled at her as we exited the door. For some reason unknown I was nervous to see my sister. I knew I was being silly. The drive was quick and as we approached the clearing I saw that Alice was already there.

When she saw me she gasped, "Oh my goodness! You look great," she said very hyper like making me blush. "I love this look on you," she said as she hugged me.

"Hey Jasper," Bella said to him as he nodded his head towards her.

"Hello, Bella. Are you enjoying your Rumspringa?" he asked, turning to me.

"Yeah we haven't done a whole lot, but at the same time I have learned a lot," I told him as I put my arm around Bella's shoulder.

"Well what have you done?" Alice asked as we sat on the ground. I filled her in on everything that I had done so far and she played twenty questions with me about the mall. What were the stores like, what did I buy, what did it smell like? I had no idea what to tell her, all I could do was laugh at her line of questions.

"So are you going to learn how to drive?" Jasper asked getting excited. I knew he love cars as much as I did.

"Not yet, I'm a little intimidated about the whole driving thing. It's not as easy as it looks," I told him as he looked confused. "Driving itself doesn't look hard, it's the rules of the road that seem hard," I told him truthfully.

"What was the hardest thing for you Bella?" Jasper asked her, and I think it was the first time that he has ever asked her something straight forward.

"Well the 'rules of the road'," she said making air quotes, "I already knew from riding in cars my whole life, but the hardest things for me were the gas pedal, the break pedal, and left hand turns. Oh and parallel parking is horrifying," she said with a shudder.

"What's so bad about that?" Alice asked, as I thought the same thing.

"Well it is one of the hardest things to learn. You have to park your car between two cars. It's hard to explain. I would have to show you." And that is what she did. She took three rocks and demonstrated to us how it was done. I had to agree with her on the hard factor and I was hoping that she wouldn't teach me how to do it. It was weird hanging out with Alice knowing that I wasn't going home with her.

She told me that our parents were in good spirits and that made me feel more relaxed. I was missing them, but the feeling was nothing that I couldn't handle. That was one of the things I was worried about was getting homesick. I was hoping that it wouldn't be overwhelming, I really didn't want to leave Bella. Time seem to fly by and before I knew it we were saying our good byes and we made plans to see each other in a couple of weeks. The drive home was longer than I expected because we stopped off at a Taco Bell to get some dinner. I could now say Mexican food was one of my favorites. Bella's house was feeling more like home and I wasn't feeling like I have to follow her around. She went to her room to change for bed and I did the same in my room. When I was done I heard Bella down in the kitchen so I went to the living room to get on the computer. I really liked playing card games on slingo. I was amazed by how many different things you could do with a deck of cards. The night was so relaxing. We watched movies and ate popcorn. I wouldn't say that popcorn was one of my favorites. I was surprising myself with how late I was staying up. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was after midnight.

"You ready for bed?" a very tired looking Bella asked me. All I did was nod and go and check the door that I had already locked. I didn't think I was going to sleep well knowing that I was the only man in the house and Bella needed protection in case something was to go wrong.

"Do you think Charlie would mind if slept on your floor?" I asked her as she rolled her eyes at me. "What?" I asked her confused.

"You are sleeping in my bed," she informed me.

"But your dad said..."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Bella..."

"Edward..."

"You know I don't want to disappoint him," I told her.

"You won't and I bet you five dollars he doesn't even ask about it when he gets home," she said a matter a fact.

"Bella I think I will just sleep on the floor and I will explain it to Charlie when he get's home," I told her as she laughed out loud at me.

"Edward, do you really think that Charlie thinks that we are going to sleep in our own bed?" she asked me as I shook my head yes. "We are teenagers! We don't do as our parents say. Trust me everything will be fine. Now come lay down with me and I will kiss your face." I want you to kiss more than my face, I thought to myself. Was it normal to think that way?

I laid down feeling nervous. I really wanted Charlie's trust, but I wanted to be in the same bed as my girlfriend. That word was growing on me, girlfriend. At first it sounded funny to me, but now I liked the sound of it. Another thing that I was liking was not wearing my shirt to bed. I liked what Bella wore to bed as well, a pair of very short, shorts and tank top. I loved the feel of her skin, it was so soft. She had the softest skin I have ever felt. Cuddling was another thing that I loved to do with her, the closeness felt amazing. I was impressed with how I was adjusting to the outside world. I was feeling very comfortable and I felt like I was fitting in. I felt at home and I wasn't feeling as intimidated as I was. As I laid next to her it was as if I had no control over my mind. When my lips touched hers and her hand went to my hair two things happened. First my body broke out in goose bumps and my penis started to grow. I knew this talk was coming with Bella, I had so my questions for her, but I was embarrassed to come out and ask her. I didn't know if it was normal with just a kiss to be aroused. I really didn't think there was a nonchalant way to ask. I felt her thigh move against my manhood and I jerked away from her.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Well I guess we were going to have this talk now.

"May I be blunt with you?" I asked, as she giggled and then shook her head yes. "I don't know much about being with you sexually. I don't know what is a normal way to react. I mean I am getting aroused by just kissing you. I know how to get the job done, but other than that I'm clueless," I told her as I took a deep breath.

"What do you want to know? I will tell you that if you didn't get a boner when kissing me I would feel bad and think there was something wrong with me. Just do what you body tells you to do," she said as she stroked my cheek. "Is there anything you want to know?" she asked looking down.

"I don't know how to please you," I said taking a deep breath. "And I really want to please you," I told her as she smiled at me.

She never answered me, she just kissed me and she she stuck her tongue in my mouth I forgot about all my worries. I let my hand explore her body. I loved her body. Our kissing was intent and her moans grew louder as my hands explored her body. The harder her nipples got the more she would grind her hips in to my erection. I needed to take a breather from the kissing, but I didn't want the closeness to end. I fisted her shirt in my hand to take it off, but I stopped.

"It's okay," she told me. She put her arms up as I slid her shirt over her head. My body felt over heated. Everything that I was feeling was beyond foreign. Like I had said before, I had no clue was doing, but I wanted this, more than anything. As I rolled my tongue over her nipple, she seemed to really like that. I don't even know what possessed me to do so, but it felt right and her skin tasted amazing. My teeth grazed the hardened nipple and she pulled my hair and pushed my face into her breast. Her action not only made me very excited, but also made me chuckle.

"You really know how to use your tongue," she panted as I switched sides. She was writhing underneath me and moaning. Was it possible for her to reach her orgasm without penetration? As her breathing calmed, I kissed my way to her mouth.

"I think someone liked that, but I'm not quite sure?" I asked her as she smiled into our kiss.

"I did like it. Very much actually," she said as we kept kissing. "I want to do something for you. Lay on your back," she said as I started to get a little nervous. As I laid on my back she pulled down my shorts and boxers. As she looked at my penis she licked her lips like she was hungry for it. I didn't understand. "If you get uncomfortable just tell me, okay?" she said as she lowered her mouth to me.

I had a fill of emotions run through me in matter of thirty seconds. I was angry at first because I didn't want her to degrade herself like that, but as soon as her lips touched the tip I was excited. Of course I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. The way her mouth formed around me I couldn't help but to grab her head. I felt my entire erection in her mouth and the tip of myself felt like it was down her throat.

"Bella this is insane. You don't have to do this," I said in a pant. Me saying this stopped her instantly, I quickly internally kicked myself.

"You didn't like it?" she asked with sad eyes.

"Do you like doing it?"

"Very much, you taste good," she said as she stoked me. "So you didn't like it?" she asked again.

"No it's not that, it felt amazing I just... I just don't want you to think you have to do that," I told her as she smiled up to me. "If you want to keep going you can," I told her as her eyes lit up. How could I deny her anything when she looked so excited? She continued to suck on me and I tried to keep my hands to myself, but I just couldn't. I wrapped my hand in her hair and moved with her movement. I had never had a feeling like this one and I knew I wanted it again. "Bella, it's going to happen again. I'm going to cu... oh I'm going to cum!" I said breathlessly.

She didn't stop at my warning she kept going, and she started to go faster. The hand in her hair tightened and I hung on to the side of the mattress with the other. I felt my tip hit the back of her throat and I lost it as I could feel my semen hit the back of her throat like a hose. I thought that it was over, but she kept sucking and I kept coming. My heart felt like it was slamming into my chest and my breathing was ragged. I watched as she took a drink. Her lips were red and puffy. She was beaming with pride and I just didn't understand it. I smiled at her as she sat topless in front of me. I envied her confidences. I pulled my clothes up to cover myself. She offered me a drink and I took a long drink.

"Thanks." I said as I laid my head on the pillow feeling exhausted.

"For what? The drink or the blow job?"

"The what?" I asked as I started to laugh.

"The blow job. That is what I just did to you. Or it is called giving head, oral sex..."

"Baby I get it," I said as she stared at me. "What?" I asked feeling confused once again.

"You just called me baby," she said with a small smile on her beautiful face.

"Sorry?" I said in the form of a question.

"No I liked it. It just surprised me," she said as she kissed me. I hugged her, putting our bare chests together. I pulled the sheet around the both of us as I pulled away from our kiss.

I reached over to the night stand and turned off the light. "Good night, I love you so much baby," I said as I heard her giggle and kiss my lips once again.

"I love you too, good night," she said as we kissed one last time. I smiled to myself as she snuggled to my chest. Sleep found me shortly after.

* * *

What is that noise? I thought to myself as I woke up from my sleep. Soon the noise struck a cord in my head, it was Bella's phone. Without thinking I picked it up and answered it. I had to admit that it wasn't the smartest thing for me to do, but I just wanted the phone to be quiet.

"Hello?" I asked into the reciever as I cleared my throat.

"Who is this?" the voice asked.

"Um... I'm pretty sure I asked you first, you did call," I said feeling annoyed by the person on the other end.

"I demand to know who this is!" the women shouted into the phone. "Where is Bella!" she shouted at me. I pulled the phone away from my ear and the women was shouting so loud that Bella woke up.

"No need to shout," I said with a yawn. "Hang on I'll get her," I said as Bella sat up with the sheet around her naked torso. I handed her the phone and she rolled her eyes. I rolled over on my side and rubbed her back as she started to talk on the phone.

"Say Bella phone." she whispered to me. At first I didn't get it, but I did it anyways.

"Bella wake up, you have a phone call." I said loud enough for whoever was on the other line to hear. Bella cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Hello?" she asked very annoyed. "Jesus Christ Mom, it is to early for you to be bitching at me," she said as I stared at Bella in shock. "My god will you shut up!" she said raising her voice. "I was hanging out with Edward last night in his room and I left my phone in there!" she once again raised her voice to her mother. If it was her father or Leah I would of told her to chill out, but I really didn't care about her mother. For the hate that I felt towards her mother I would gladly go to hell. The rest of the conversation was fill with, yup, hhmms, and uh huhs. When she hung up she threw her phone on the floor.

She laid back down with me and she sighed, "Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, she said that she was going to be here next week," she told me as I rolled my eyes. "Oh," was my only response.

"Yeah I know what you mean." she said. "Do you know that it is after twelve?" She asked with a giggle. I looked over my shoulder needing conformation that it was in deed the afternoon.

"I have never in my seventeen years slept this late," I told her as I chuckled. "Should we get up?" I asked her. All she did was shrug her shoulders.

With us being undecided we stayed in bed for another hour. I found that when you wake up late in the day time goes very quickly. Eventually we both showered and dressed. Before I knew it, Ben was at the house to pick me up for the party.

"You sure you are going to be okay by yourself?" I asked Bella before I walked out the door.

"Yes I will be fine. Call me if you want to come home," she said as she handed me the cell. I felt kinda of weird carrying around a pink phone. She must of seen how stand offish I was about taking the phone because she popped the pink cover off the phone. "You are such a boy," she said as she laughed at me. "I love you, have fun," she said as she leaned in and kissed me.

"Love you too. I'll call you when I'm ready," I said as I headed out the door. As soon as I was out the door my nerves started up. I was hoping that I fit in with the 'boys'.

"Hey man," Ben said in greeting. I said hello as I looked at what he was wearing feeling at ease knowing that I wasn't under dressed or over dressed.

"So what goes on at these parties?" I asked.

"Not to much, we drink, smoke, play video games... have you ever played video games?" He asked me.

"No, what is it?" I asked as he lit up a cigarette.

"Um... I really don't know how to explain it, but you will see. I love playing. They are so much fun." He said as he blew out the smoke. "Want one?" he asked me offering me a cigarette. I really didn't know what to do. I knew I wanted to try one so I took one. No better time than now, right? I put it between my lips and lit it. I inhaled the smoke and then exhaled. It was no different than the pipe Emmett smoked. He let me try it once and I liked it and I liked the taste. Smoking a cigarette was no different.

"Amish smoke?" Ben asked as I blew out the smoke.

"Not these, but the men smoke pipes," I told him as he nodded his head. Before we arrived at his house we stopped at the gas station.

"Do you want me to get you a pack of smokes?" He asked me as I reached for my wallet.

"How much are they?" I asked.

"Six bucks," he said as I handed him the money. He was back in the car before long handing me the cigarettes and a lighter. "How much do I owe you for the lighter?" I asked him.

"Don't worry about that," he said as he started to drive. When we got to his house there were a few cars outside. As we approached the house my nerves came back. As we entered the small house I could hear loud music and voices talking over the music. I knew a few of the guys that were there from the creek.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Ben yelled. "We don't need the fucking cops here!" He yelled as he turned down the music. "This is Edward, Edward these are the guys," he said.

"Oh are you the Amish kid?" a dark haired kid asked me. All I did was nod. "Cool! Want a beer?" he asked.

"Sure why not," I said as I sat in an empty chair.

"Help yourself to food or beer. The bathroom is over there," he said pointing to a closed door. "if you want to smoke you just have to go through those doors," he said as I noticed sliding glass doors off the living room.

"I'm Seth," the dark haired kid said as he handed me the beer.

"Thanks, Seth, it's good to meet you," I said as he handed Ben a beer as well.

I found out a lot in a short period of time, first, I liked the taste of beer. Beer and cigarettes went very well together. Second, I was very good at playing video games. We were playing Modern Warfare 2. It wasn't hard, all you had to do was kill the people that came up with red names. The only thing that was hard was figuring out how to use the controller. As I pasted to the controller off the cell phone started to go off.

"Bella checking in already?" Ben asked as he nudged me with his elbow.

"No it's Charlie," I said as I stood to answer it.

"Turn off the music!" Ben said in a hurry. "Say nothing about us drinking. We will all get in a shit ton of trouble if you do," he said in a panic. I nodded in understanding.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Edward?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Where's Bella?"

"She should be home," I told him.

"She let you take her cell? Huh she must really like you," he said with a chuckle. "Where are you at?"

"I'm at Ben's."

"Hmm I should have had this talk with you sooner," he said taking a deep breath. "Okay if there is alcohol there you do NOT get into a car with someone that has been drinking, do you understand?" he asked in a very stern voice.

"Yes sir, I understand," I said.

"Oh and don't smoke anything that is in a pipe or without a filter," he said as I grew quiet. "What the hell, you already did!" he yelled into the phone.

"No!" I said quickly. "Do cigarettes have filters?" I asked as Charlie stated to laugh.

"Yeah kid, they have filters. They will still kill ya, but at least they are legal. Oh and just so you know Bella is going to kill you for being so honest with me," he said laughing into the phone. "But I like your honesty. I may be old, but I am far from stupid, son. I know what goes on at those parties," he said as I hear him and Leah laughing. "Alright, well have fun and I will see you tomorrow night," he said as we said our goodbyes.

"Everything cool?" Seth asked, looking sacred out of his mind.

"Yeah he just wanted to talk to Bella," I told them as color came back to his face. "Why were you scared?"

"I wasn't scared!" he said getting defensive.

"The fuck you weren't you looked like you were going to shit your pants," Mike said laughing.

"Well whatever, that was the Chief of police and I am high," Seth said as every started to laugh. "I'm getting another beer anyone want one?" He asked, I said I did along with a few other people. After that the night went smooth. We were all getting silly and started to wrestle around. This reminded me of horsing around with Emmett. He would love video games. For some reason they were all surprised at how strong I was. I was starting to wonder what people thought of Amish people, of course I was strong. I lifted heavy objects most of my days and I have been doing all of my life. I was starting to feel tired, I think it was the affects of the alcohol.

"Hello?" I heard the most beautiful voice say.

"Hey baby!" I said knowing she liked me calling her that.

"You having fun?"

"Yes, you wouldn't believe how good I am at video games!" I told her as she started to laugh.

"Edward, are you drunk?"

"NO! I don't think so, why would you ask that?" I asked as she laughed harder.

"Because you are slurring your words together," she said laughing even harder. Her laughter was so cute.

"Whatever! I'm ready to come home, I'm feeling tired." I told her as she started go laughter even harder. "What is so funny?"

"You. I will be there in a few minutes. I love you."

"love you," I said as I hung up the phone and walked back into the house. I immediately felt my good mood go away when I saw who was standing in front of me.

"Hey Amish dick!"

* * *

I know some of you wanted a drama free night with the boys bbuuuttt I couldn't help myself... tell me what you think in a very nice review. I have the next chapter done so I am hoping to have in up in a few day for you all.  
My story recs... these stories are NOT for every one...  
this story is called Amie. Edward thought that Bella had an abortion and then five years late, he finds out that didn't happen... really good story

this story is called Fuggiasco this story Bella and Edward are both homeless and Bella has a bad past... love this story

this story is called Heaven on Earth. Edward is A LOT older than Bella. This Edward is not the nicest guy, but I still love him and there is a huge twist that will throw you for a loop. This is a must read if you like possessiveward


	19. Chapter 20

I started with BOPV because I thought it would be fun to hear Edward drunk from her pov.

I am going to be going back and forth with povs because I think it is important for every one to know what they are both feeling. I was going to update tomorrow but I figured most of us would be busy with the new movie and all lol

I own nothing

* * *

BPOV

"Hello?" I said into the phone. My night had been relaxing. I got all of mine and Edwards laundry done, both of our rooms picked up, and I got some of my summer reading done. I liked having time to myself.

"Heysbaby," he said not only sounding sexy, but very intoxicated. I asked him if he was having a good time and I started to laugh as soon as he started to to talk. "YESH! YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD I AM AT VIDEOS GAMES!" he yelled into to phone and I busted out laughing. When I asked if he was drunk, he slurred his words all together and all I understood was "Why would you ask that?" I couldn't help, but to laugh more at him he was so cute. When he yelled whatever into the phone it confirmed that he was drunk. As we hung up the phone I started to hope that he didn't get sick. I couldn't handle him if he started to vomit. I was a little jealous that I wasn't with him his first time drinking. At least he sounded like a happy drunk.

EPOV

"Hey Amish dick," I heard Jacob say as I closed the door. Great, this was all I needed.

"Not today Jacob, I'm not in the mood," I told him as I walked further into the living room.

"Why not? I fucking hate you,!" he said as he started to raise his voice.

"Well I'm not that fond of you either," I told him as I went to say my good byes to Ben. "Alright, I'm on my way out. Bella is on her way," I told Ben.

"Can't hang with the big boys?" Ben asked, as we started to laugh.

"Of course he can't man he's a pussy," Jacob said as I glared toward him.

"Only you would know right?" I asked not really making sense to myself, but it sounded right. "If you want I will show who the pussy is," I said not even caring what that word meant. It made me beyond mad when he started to laugh.

"Do you even know what a pussy is? Probably not, although I have tasted Bella's and it was fantastic."

"Don't talk about Bella!" I said in a raised voice.

"Jake I don't want to hear about you sucking on Bella's vagina," Ben said as my head snapped to him and I knew he was telling me what 'pussy' meant.

"Tell me virgin boy have you touched Bella's nice soft pussy?" Jake asked taunting me. I saw red in his words. How dare he touch Bella and how dare Bella let him touch her! "Didn't think so," he said sitting down, "although the girl has got mad skills with oral, she swallows too," he said as I grew sick. Bella put her mouth on him and she let him do that to her?

"Forget this, Ben I'll see you around," I said as I headed for the door.

"Edward wait up," I heard Ben behind me, I didn't stop until I was out side. I lite a cigarette so I gave my hands something to do. "I'm so sorry I didn't know he was coming," Ben apologized.

"Don't worry about it, he's just looking for a fight," I told him as he nodded his head yes.

"Okay well maybe we can hang out again?" he asked.

"Yeah for sure and you were right, video games are pretty cool," I said as we both chuckled. "Can I ask you a question?" I asked Ben and without hesitation he shook his head yes. "Do I have a right to be mad a Bella?" I asked knowing that as soon as I saw her I was going to probably yell at her.

"Yes and no. Ang and Bella are as close to best friends as they can get, I know Bella said she wanted to see other people. I get why she did. Dude she is thinking of becoming Amish for you she loves you. But on the other hand yeah I would be pretty pissed at the same time." He said as I saw Bella pull in.

"I feel like I'm going to take my frustration with Jacob out on her," I told him feeling furious.

"Men rule in the Amish world right?" he asked as I chuckled.

"To an extent, I guess."

"Men are the head of the house hold? Women do as they are told right?" he said as I shook my head yes. "Well, show Bella that. She thinks she want to be Amish, then give he a taste of that life," he said as I understood what he was telling. It was really nothing that I wasn't thinking myself. As I turned around to head off to the car all I could see was Bella's beautiful smile. My anger started to go away until I turned back to the house and saw Jacob outside with Ben smoking. He waved at Bella and when I got in to the car I saw that she still had that dumb smile on her face as she looked at him.

"Ya know if you want to be with him," I said jabbing a finger in _his_ direction, "you can. I will just stay with Ben," I said as I let all my anger show. Her eyes about popped out of her head as she stared at me.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked as my breathing picked up.

"Shut up Bella! Just drive. Don't even talk to me," I said as I started to smoke another cigarette.

"When did this start?" she asked all sweet like.

"I said don't talk to me," I said as I ignored her the rest of the way home.

"I will talk to you if I want!" she said as she started to yell. I don't know what came over me, but my hand flew to the dash board and hit it.

"I told you not to talk me!" I yelled at her. "So shut up and drive. I am so pissed at you right now I can't even take it!" I said as I saw tears welt up in her eyes. At that point in time I didn't care.

The rest of the drive home was quiet. As she pulled into her drive way I flicked the cigarette and followed her to the door. Like the gentlemen I am, I let her walk through the door first. Then I slammed it.

"You need to tell me what the fuck your problem is!" she yelled.

"Well where to start..." I said as I felt wobbly on my feet. "I learned a new word today, have you ever heard of pussy?" I asked as her mouth dropped open and the sound of the word. "and do you also want to know what I found out about pussy?" I asked as she just stood there quiet. "You like it when Jacob puts his mouth on YOURS!" I screamed at her. Her face turned bright red and she looked at the floor as I saw the tears fall from her face. "Don't lie to me, I want to know. Did you let him do that to you?" I asked as she still wouldn't look at me.

"Yes," she whispered still looking at the floor and that was pissing me off more.

"Look at me when I am talking to you!" I yelled at her. She lifted her head up to look at me and I saw her tears rolling out if her eyes. "Did you give him a blow job?" I asked as she let out a sob.

BPOV

He was screaming at me and this is something he has never done. I didn't really like this part of him. I didn't understand why Jake had to start shit. Edward said he had a great time so, when I saw Jake outside I thought they put their differences aside.

"You are drunk, you need to go to bed and sleep it off we can talk about this in the morning," I told him as I cried. I didn't understand why crying didn't make him stop. He was always sweet to me when I cried and now it seemed like he could care less.

"I want to talk about this now!" he said sternly. I knew I had no choice.

"Yes." I whispered again.

"I can't believe you!" He yelled. I didn't know what to say. "That's it! You need to choose right now, me or him?" he said as I was flabbergasted.

"You, you know I choose you."

"Fine then you are NEVER to talk to him again! I mean none of this 'we're just friends' crap!" he said waving his arms in the air.

"That's bull shit he is my friend!" I yelled back at him and this just seemed to fuel him more.

"Bull shit? You think this is bull shit?" he asked and I couldn't help but to be floored by him using so many cuss words.

"Yes I think this is bull shit. He is my friend. I love him as a person, but I'm not in love with him. I swear it," I said feeling defenseless.

"I don't care. I swear Bella you talk to him again and I'm gone and you are not coming with me. I will never talk to you again," he said in his 'that's final' tone. I didn't want that and he knew it it.

"FINE!" I yelled as I walked past him to go upstairs.

"Fine I will be out of here in the morning. I knew you wanted him." he said as he got to the top of the stairs. "Can I at least sleep here for the night? I can't go home like this," he told me as I stopped at my bedroom door.

"You're not leaving me," I said as I walked into my room closing the door. I flopped on my bed face first and cried into my pillow. I knew everything would be fine in the morning and I knew that it was the alcohol talking. I loved him and I knew that if he really didn't want me to talk to Jake any more than I wouldn't. I would do that for him. Edward had never made me cry and he had never been that scary. He really did scare me and I knew that I never wanted to piss him off again.

EPOV

Part of me felt bad for the why I talked to her, but then again I had no compassion at all. I hated that she touched another man and I hated that another man touched her. I wanted to be the only one. How was I going to compete with some who has been probably doing oral for years. Maybe I was jealous. I wasn't joking when I said that I didn't want her to talk to Jacob anymore. I think I was more bluffing about leaving. I would to scare her, but I would come back and talk it out. I loved her and there was zero doubt in my mind about that. She was the one I wanted forever and I would just have to pray that I got my forever. I laid in my own bed feeling like I couldn't keep my eyes open. I knew I was sobering up because I started to feel bad for making her cry. What was worse was that I could hear her sniffling through the walls. I tossed and turned trying to ignore her, I was not going to apologize for anything I said. It was the way I felt. After an hour of tossing and turning I decide to go to her and try to talk this out now. I wanted sleep and I knew I wasn't going to be able to do that until after I was done being mad. I'm pretty sure I heard my mother say something about never going to bed mad, I was starting to wonder if this is why. When I got to Bella's bedroom door, I didn't know whether to knock or go right in. I opened the door slowly and saw that she was sitting on her bed reading. I didn't know what to say so when she didn't tell me to leave I sat at the foot of her bed. Neither one of us said anything to one another, we just sat in complete silence.

"I want sleep," I said breaking the silence.

"Okay I will be right back," she said as she hurried off the bed. I laid on the side that I slept on the previous nigh and I felt like I could fall right to sleep. I was hoping that I could talk to Bella a little, but I didn't want to fight with her any more. "Edward are you awake?" I heard Bella say pulling me out of my sleep, I didn't even know that I had drifted off.

"Yeah."

"Here take these," she said as I was finally able to open my eyes.

"What's this?" I asked as I sat up.

"Just some Motrin, you will have a head ache in the morning, this will help." she said as I looked at her confused. "Just put them in your mouth and drink this water, they will go down," she told me and I did what she said. She was right once again, the pills went down smooth. Once I was done drinking the water I laid back down. I heard her shut off the light and then I felt her lay down. Sleep was creeping in on me fast and I knew that if I was going to say anything this was the time.

"Bella?" I asked, making sure that she was awake.

"Can we not talk about this right now? I just want to wait till morning," she said finishing in a whisper.

"You truly want that?" I asked before I let sleep take me for the night.

"Yes," she said as I felt her little hand over mine. "Edward? You know I love you right?" she asked as I could hear her voice crack.

"You know that I don't want any one, but you," I told her.

"And you are the only one that I will ever want." she said as I turned on my side and pulled her to my chest.

"We will talk about this in the morning," I told her as she turned her head to kiss me.

"Promise. I love you," she said.

"Love you," I said. That was the last thing I heard before I let sleep pull me under.

BPOV

When I woke the next morning Edward was still sound asleep laying on his stomach. I wanted to talk to him and sort all of this out, but I knew he would need to rest as long as he wanted in case he was hung over. While I waited for him to wake up I played on the computer, put some clothes away, found clothes to wear and then headed to the bathroom to take a shower. It was one of the longest showers of my life. When I was finished doing all my shower needs, I got out and dried off. I didn't hear any movement from my room so I, lotion-ed, dressed, and did my hair as slow as I could. He was still asleep when I was done so I headed downstairs and made myself some breakfast, even though it was closer to lunch. Before I was done eating I could hear him moving around. I got nervous butterflies in my stomach as soon as I heard him. I was hoping he was in a better mood than what he was in last night. I just wanted to talk about it and I didn't want him to yell at me. Did I mention that he was scary when he got mad? I heard him descend the stairs and my stomach dropped. I picked up my bowl and walked to the sink and started to wash it. I heard him walk into the kitchen go to the refrigerator and then sit at the table.

"How are you feeling?" I asked without turning around to look at him.

"I feel fine," he said sounding in an okay mood. "I meant what I said last night, I don't want you to be friends with Jacob anymore," he said as I took a deep breath and turning around. I walked over to him and sat in his lap. I was happy when he wrapped his arms around me. He was freshly showered and smelling good and at that moment I wanted to distract him with kisses, but I knew he would never let that happen.

"He _is_ my friend..."

"I understand that, but I really don't want you talking to him. I can't stand the thought of you talking to him." he told me, I understood why he was asking, but I did think it was unfair.

"Are you really going to leave?" I asked, needing to know if he was serious.

"I don't know if I can handle you being friends with him right now. I have never met any one that is so rude. He is not a gentleman. Do you know he told a room full of guys that he had gone down on you and that your vagina was soft and fantastic?" he said, as my stomach dropped. Why would he do that to me? One of the things that I didn't like was when guys sat around and talked about the girls they had been with. I found it disgusting.

"I can't believe he did that," I whispered looking at the floor. I was ashamed and at that point I didn't want to talk to Jake ever again.

"I would never do that to you," he said as he turned my face towards his. "It made me sick to hear him talk about you like that. I wanted nothing more than to hurt him as he spoke, but last night I don't know if I could of took him down," he said as we laughed together.

"I'll do this for you. I love you and if me being friends with him makes you unhappy I won't talk to him," I told him honestly. "Last night when I saw him outside when you left I thought that you both had put your differences aside. If I would of known I would of gave him a piece of my mind right there in front of everyone," I said getting mad. "I'm in the right mind to call him now and tell him where to go," I said as Edward rubbed my back in comfort. "I'm so sorry," I said as I broke out in tears that I didn't know were ready to spill over.

"It's over, there is nothing to cry about," he told me as I cried into his shirt.

"I'm so embarrassed," I told him as wiped my tears away.

"So no more talking to Jacob?" he asked looking me in the face.

"I plan on giving him a piece of my mind, but I won't go out of my way to talk to him," I told him as he nodded his head. "Would you be okay on your own if I went shopping with Ang on Wednesday?" I asked him. If he felt uncomfortable being by himself then I wouldn't go.

"I'll be fine," he told me giving me a kiss. I was glad that our fight was over. I really didn't want to fight with him again for the rest of my life. One thing was sure was that I was not going to talk to Jake. I would do it for Edward. I knew part him didn't trust me, I understood that. I was going to earn his trust back if it was the last thing that I did. I had hurt him more than I ever wanted to.

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Ok there you have it... let me know what you think. If you are headed to eclipse tomorrow, I know I am, I hope you all enjoy it! until next time...


	20. Chapter 21

EPOV

The rest of the weekend went well. There was no more talk of Jacob Black and she even ignored his calls. He was definitely persistent. Sunday he called seven times, Monday he called eleven times, Tuesday he called five times, and each time he left nasty messages. I hope I don't see him any time soon. Bella was in the shower when the house phone started to ring, so I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Where's Bella?" Of course he would call the house phone. He was so pathetic.

"She doesn't want to talk to you," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Well, why not? We said we would be friends!" he yelled into the phone.

"Take a hint, when someone doesn't answer your calls it means that they don't want to talk to you," I said, trying not to chuckle.

"What the fuck did you tell her?" he yelled into the phone. At that point I was sick of him yelling at me, so I hung up. I wasn't going to stoop to his level.

I headed upstairs as the phone started to ring again. I was not going to talk to him because if I did I knew Bella would be angry with me. Even if she said she was done with him, I knew that she would still care. I didn't want her talking to him or even seeing him. Part of me didn't trust her. I kept replaying that night over and over in my head. I knew she wanted to see other people, but I was naive enough to think that she would wait for me. In all honesty, I thought that 'seeing other people' meant going out on dates, ya know to the movies and things, or just hanging out. I did not know that it meant putting your mouths on the most private part of someone's body. I was starting to understand the outside world a little more. Instead of trying to fit in, I was going to take a step back and observe a little more. I really wanted to know how people thought. I laid on my bed with my headphones waiting for Bella to get out of the shower. She was going with Ang to the mall. This was going to be the first day that I was going to be on my own. I really didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I knew how to work the TV and DVD player, so I knew I could watch movies. I was sure I would play on the computer. I was starting to wish for some of those video games. Now that would keep me occupied! "Edward!" Bella said as she pulled the ear buds out of my ears. I had to smile when I saw that she was just wearing a towel.

"The phone is ringing off the hook! Could you go answer it?" she asked me.

"Nope, it's Jacob and I already spoke to him. I really don't want to talk to him again," I told her.

"He doesn't have the house number," she said.

"Well he does now, so just let it ring," I told her.

"I can't just listen to it ring," she said as she headed for the stairs. I jumped off the bed and followed her down the stairs.

"Bella! Don't answer that," I said as she picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" she said as her eyes grew. "How did you get this number?" she asked as I crossed my arms over my chest getting annoyed. "Ya know what?" she yelled and I smirked. "I have nothing to say to you! Do you think it is cool to tell a room full of people what you and I have done and make me look like a whore?" she asked as I saw tears in her eyes. "Jake just stop," she said as I hung up the phone.

"I told you not to answer it," I said, as she started to cry. Before I could say anything the phone started to ring again. "Hello?" I asked, as Bella wiped her tears away.

"What the fuck, Amish douche bag! I want to talk to Bella," he said, sounding frustrated. "Please let me talk to Bella," he said, sounding defeated.

"Why should I," I asked, pulling Bella into my arms. "When you do get to talk to her, all you do is yell and call her god awful names. So tell me why I should put her on the phone," I said, as I kissed her head.

"Listen, I'm in love with her and I can't stand that she is with you. I'm not stupid. She told me before we were ever together that she would always pick you, so I knew this could happen. I'm pissed because she has been ignoring me for the last few days. I know I fucked up by trying to start shit with you on Saturday, but in all honesty I wanted you to hit me so I could pound the shit out of you," he said, taking a breath.

"Wow, tell me how you really feel," I said, with my voice dripping with sarcasm. Part of me was feeling bad, but then again, I had to remember all of the times he call the woman I loved vile names.

"Look, I told you how I feel, so now just let me talk to her," he said, almost begging.

"No, now stop calling because the answer is going to be the same," I told him, hoping that he got the drift. I was starting to think that he wasn't that smart.

"Fuck you! You have no say over who she talks to," he said, starting to raise again.

"Yes I do," I said with confidence.

"You better watch your self," he said, as he hung up the phone. I was starting to think that all he wanted was a fight and I was going to give it to him. I wanted nothing more than to show him that I was capable of fighting, and hopefully beat him. I truly didn't want that to happen, but I wouldn't back down if it came to that. "Did you tell him that you would always pick me over him when you started dating him?" I asked her as she looked up from my chest.

"Yeah, I think that it was something like that, why?" she asked as I smiled at her.

"That's what he just told me, but what I don't understand is, why would someone set themselves up for heartache like that," I asked her as she stared at me. All she said was, "I don't know." That was where we left that conversation.

I was getting sick of talking about Jacob and it needed to end. I stayed out of Bella's way while she got ready. I just needed sometime to myself to think. I wasn't mad at Bella any more because she was holding up her end if the deal. She wasn't going out of her way to talk to him. I heard her come down the stairs and that pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Why are you all dressed up to go to the mall," I asked her. She had on a pair of shorts and a plain blue shirt that was tied around her neck. The only reason I cared was because her chest was showing more than needed. She also had makeup on and her hair was more straight than normal.

"I'm not," she said, looking at her clothes.

"Why are you wearing makeup?"

"Edward I always wear makeup when I leave the house," she said, sitting next to me on the couch.

"Do you want me to go change," she asked. I wanted to say yes, but I felt like a jerk asking her to do that.

"No, you look nice. I just don't want guys looking at you," I told her honestly. "I love you," she said, as she started to laugh.

"Are you sure you are going to be okay by yourself," she asked, as I put my arm around her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just go and have some fun," I told her as I moved in to her kissing her. What started off to be an innocent kiss turned into a full make out session. Just as I was going to grope her boobs someone, who I assumed was Ang, was honking a horn.

"I have to go," she said as I pulled her closer to me.

"I can't change your mind?" I asked into her lips.

"I already said I would go. Walk me to the door?" she asked as we still had yet to pull apart. "Edward we have to stop, we can continue this tonight," she said, as we pulled away from one another.

"Oh you can bet on it," I tell her, as I walk her to the door.

"Okay, so I wrote down my number, Charlie's work and cell number, and Leah's cell number."

"Baby, I will be fine," I tell her, opening the door for her.

With one more kiss she left and I was there by myself. I headed up stairs to take a shower. When I got into the shower, I was still aroused from kissing Bella so I started to jerk myself off. This was the first time that I have ever done something like that. I felt like it was something that I needed. The relief was what I needed. I thought that I would feel dirty for pleasuring myself, but that feeling of shame never came. After my shower I headed to my room to get dressed. I figured since I was the only one home, all I put on was a pair of basketball shorts. I had to laugh when Bella called to check up on me. I told her that I was fine. All I was doing was eating potato chips and watching TV. A few hours later, I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the door bell. I was almost positive that no one was to arrive, but then again, who knew. I debated with myself if I should go put a shirt on, but the way the door bell was going off I figured I didn't have time. As I headed to the door, I could tell that there were two people on the other side. I was getting nervous because I didn't know anyone that the Swans knew. How was I suppose to know who was allowed in the house? When I opened the door, I was met with an annoyed looking women and a bored looking man.

"Can I help you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest trying to cover myself up.

"Who are you?" the women asked in a snotty tone.

"I'm Edward and you are?"

"Where's Bella?"

"Out shopping."

"Well, call her and tell her I am here."

"I can do that, but I don't know who you are," I said as she walked past me into the house.

"Stop being rude," the man said to the women.

"I'm Bella's mother, Renee," she said as the blood drained from my face. "I told her that I was going to be here today," she said as I nodded my head. "I tried to call her when you wouldn't answer the door, but of course she didn't answer," she said as she went to the refrigerator and took out a drink. I found this women so rude.

"I'm Phil," the man said as he extended his hand to me.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Edward, Bella's boyfriend," I said as he gave me a head nod. "Let me see if I can get Bella on the phone," I said as I walked in to the living room to get the cordless phone. I was blown away when I walked back into the kitchen and saw the both of them looking through the left overs that were in there. What was it with these people? When Bella didn't answer I didn't know who to call, so I called the next best person.

"Police station, this is Officer Smith how may I help you," the man said, sounding bored.

"Um... yes may I speak with Chief Swan?" I asked, feeling nervous.

"May I ask who is speaking?" "This is Edward," I was hoping that he was available to talk. The officer told me to hold. I was upstairs at this time finding a shirt to wear. Just as I had it over my head, the Chief was on the phone.

"Edward, what's wrong?" he asked, sounding panicked.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but Renee and Phil are here I don't know what to do with them and Bella is not answering," I told him, taking a deep breath.

"What the fuck?" he said. "Sorry about the F word," he said, sounding annoyed.

"Don't worry about," I said reassuring him. "What do I do? They are kinda rude," I told him as he took a deep breath.

"Let me guess, they are making themselves at home in the kitchen?" he said like a question.

"Yeah, and Renee scares me a little," I said as Charlie started to chuckle.

"Yeah kid, she scares me too," he said pausing. "Leah is going to be home soon, Renee and her don't get along... ah hell, I'm on my way home," he said sounding mad. "You don't need to deal with this. I hate that woman sometimes," he said sounding annoyed. "I'll be home soon," he said, hanging up.

Now I was really nervous. What was I going to do if Leah got here first? Would they fight? I headed downstairs and found that the kitchen was a mess. How did they make a mess so fast? I looked at the numbers on the wall and dialed Bella again.

"Hey honey, I'm on my way home. What's up?" her sweet voiced asked.

"Did you know your mother was going to be here today?" I asked her as I walked out of the kitchen.

"She said something about it, but I didn't think she was serious," she said, sounding annoyed. "I'll be home as soon as I can. Is the kitchen a mess?" she asked. What kind of person was Renee?

"Yeah as a matter of fact it is. They will clean it right?" I asked her, hoping that this woman had some kind of common courtesy.

"Probably not, um... I hate to ask you this, but if Leah comes home, keep her away from my mom. They can't stand each other!" she said with emphasize.

"You never told me about that," I said to her as she took a deep breath.

"Yeah, last summer when she showed up, she made her self at home and Leah flipped, called Renee a bad mom, rude, and many other colorful names. It was not good, my mom even asked to stay at the house and I'm sure she will again," Bella said sounding sad.

"Baby, what's wrong?" "I just hate the fighting, she's my mom you know..." My heart was breaking for her. I know I would feel the same way about my mom no matter what.

"Well, I'm here for you so don't worry too much about it okay?" I asked her hoping that it would make her feel a little better.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too, I'll..."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I heard Leah scream. "Got to go," I said as I hung up on Bella and ran towards the kitchen. As I got to the kitchen, Leah had dropped her bags by the door and was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her hands on her hips and her face was beet red. Yeah, she was mad and I was by myself. I didn't know what else to do, so as I reached Leah's side, I put my arm in front of her to keep her out of the kitchen.

"You are nothing but an inconsiderate bitch, do you know that Renee?" Leah sneered.

"Whatever Leah, I am not here to see you," Renee said waving her hand at Leah telling her to go away. "Don't think you are staying here this time, I will not allow it!" Leah all but screamed.

"Leah, just go upstairs, Charlie will be here soon," I told her rubbing her back with my free hand trying to calm her down a little.

"Edward you don't know what a vile bitch this women is," she said pointing her finger at Renee. I found it odd that while all this is going on Phil just sitting there saying nothing. I know that if someone was calling Bella all these names, I would say something.

"I have an idea," I tell her, "just go upstairs until Charlie gets here," I tell her as she takes her eyes off Renee and looks at me.

"That is probably best because this time I may actually punch her," Leah said as Renee and Phil both laughed at her.

"That's it, you two are the most disrespectful people I have ever seen in my life!" I said raising my voice at them, "You come in here like you own the place, trash the kitchen, and then insult the people that live here. You are unbelievable!" I said, shaking my head.

"First of all, Charlie has said before that I am always welcomed here. Second of all, you have no right to speak to me in that tone. You don't even live here!" Renee said.

"Actually Renee, he does live here," Charlie said, as I whipped my head in his direction.

"Oh, hey Charlie," Renee said, doing a complete one eighty and acting all sweet like. "Do you mind if we stay here for the night? The hotel is all booked until tomorrow," she said, as Leah growled.

"No you may not! Charlie they are not staying here," Leah said, looking at Charlie who seemed to be torn.

"Shut up Leah, it is only for one night," Renee said.

"No! If you let them stay, I'm leaving!" Leah said turning so she could look Charlie in the face.

"Enough is enough! She upsets Bella all the time and all you do is enable it, it's not right and I won't stand here and watch it anymore!" she said as I held off a smile. Leah was right.

"We really don't have the extra room," Charlie said looking at me.

"You don't mind sleeping on the couch do you Edward?" Renee asked me as I looked back at Charlie.

"I'm not asking him to do that," Charlie said sounding angry.

"I'll sleep on the couch," Bella said as Leah, Charlie and myself looked behind us. "I don't mind and it's for only one night right?" she asked looking at the floor.

"You are not sleeping on the couch," I said as Leah smiled at me.

"But Edward, she's my mom," Bella said as I walked to her.

"I understand that," I said, lifting her head. That was when I saw the tears in her eyes. "I'll sleep on the couch," I said, feeling defeated. Leah went upstairs with tears in her eyes. Charlie looked torn, he didn't know what to do.

"One night Renee, I mean it," Charlie said as he headed up the stairs. I was sure he was going to get an ear full. All Renee did was sit there with a smug grin on her face.

"Hey baby, come give me a hug," Renee said walking out of the kitchen towards Bella. "I've missed you sweetheart," she cooed as she pulled her into a hug. "Let's go talk in the living room," Renee said, as she, Phil and Bella headed out of the kitchen area.

The two of them just left the mess in the kitchen! They had dirtied a plate apiece, two cups, and emptied three leftover dishes. I started to clean the mess. I didn't think that anyone in this house had to clean up after them. I only did it because I didn't want to leave Bella alone down here, and I didn't want to go upstairs and eavesdrop on the parents. Just as I was getting done with the dishes, Charlie walked in.

"Thanks Edward, you didn't have to clean up after them," he said, patting me on the back.

"It's no problem. Is Leah okay?" I asked, knowing that her feelings were hurt.

"Yeah," was all he said. "How's Bella?" he asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I haven't been in there," I told him as he nodded his head.

"How bout we get some pizza for dinner?" he asked me trying to lighten the mood.

"I've never had pizza," I told him as he chuckled.

"Well you are in for a treat then," he said, picking up the phone and ordering the food.

I decide that I was brave enough at this point to walk into the living room. I more or less wanted to give them alone time. Phil was in Charlie's recliner half asleep, and Bella and her mom were laughing with one another. I sat next to Bella and put my arm around her shoulder, Renee shot me a dirty look.

"Mom, did you meet Edward?" she asked all excited.

"Not formally," Renee said as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry about it Bells, we know who each other are," I told her as I turned on the TV. "Charlie is ordering pizza for dinner," I told her as she looked at me with excitement in her eyes.

"Oh you are going to love it! Pizza is one of my favorite things to eat!" she said bouncing up and down, reminding me of Alice. After today I was really missing the peacefulness of my family.

"I'm sure I will love it," I told her kissing her forehead. "You okay down here? I'm going to go upstairs for a bit," I said as she stared at me.

"You okay?" Bella asked, rubbing her hand on my cheek.

"Yeah I'm good," I said as I moved her hand off my cheek and kissed her knuckles. "Just come and get me when dinner is ready." All she did was nod her head at me and look at me with sad eyes.

I didn't really know what my problem was. I think I was just feeling home sick. I hated the way this family talked to one another. I wanted to talk to my mom and tell her how much I love her and thank her for always being there. I was starting to rethink the whole joining the outside world thing. I didn't think I could never not talk to my family ever again. I wanted to be with Bella more than anything, but I just didn't know if that could ever happen now. I was starting to understand the way Bella felt about being too young. Maybe in a few years we could be together, but I really didn't have a few years to wait. Now I was torn. With all the Jacob stuff going on and now with Renee here, I just didn't know if I was going to last much longer in the outside world.

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So there you have it... Renee is here do you lover? lol felling bad for Edward I wonder what is going to happen to him? I have also posted a new story, it is on my profile. Review and let me know what you think


	21. Chapter 22

I just want to say thanks for all the review and alerts that I have been getting. Thanks kat for your help!

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EPOV

"Hey, dinner is here," Bella said as she rubbed my stomach. All I did was sit up and take the ear buds out of my ears. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"No not really," I told her honestly.

"Talk to me," she pleaded.

"There is to much that I want to say right now," I told her, feeling my anger starting to surface. "I do want to talk later on, before I blow up. I can't keep it in any more. I feel like I'm losing it," I told her.

All she did was nod her head. I knew she did that when she didn't know what to say. This talk was a long time coming. It probably wouldn't of happened so soon, but Renee put the cherry on top and I couldn't take it any more. We walked down stairs and I saw that everyone was sitting around the kitchen table. This family brought a whole new meaning to dysfunctional. With what I have seen of the outside world, I I didn't know if I wanted to stay. All of the stress that I was feeling was bringing me down.

"So, Edward, Bella tells me that you are Amish. Are you enjoying being here?" Renee asked me. I really didn't want to answer her, but I knew I could never be out right rude to her.

"Yes, I'm enjoying my time, I've learned a lot," I told her as she nodded her head.

"So, are you becoming Amish, Bella, or are you staying in the English world?" Phil asked, throwing me for a loop. Who would of thought that he knew about the Amish.

"We are seeing where it goes," I said as Bella kicked me under the table, Charlie about choked on his food, and Renee looked like she was going to blow up.

"You didn't tell anyone, did you?" I asked Bella as I stood up and she looked at her plate. "I can't believe you! Then again, I don't know why it is such a surprise," I said as I walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs.

"So were you going to tell anyone?" Charlie asked. I stopped half way up the stairs and sat down while I listened to how she was going to talk herself out of this one.

"I did," she said with a pause, "I talked with Leah."

"And what did I tell you to do?" I heard Leah say.

"Fine, I'm thinking of becoming Amish to be with Edward. If he likes the outside world, then he is going stay. There is nothing to tell right now," she said. "We are still trying to figure it all out, he has only been here for a little over a week," she said.

"Bella, you aren't becoming Amish," I heard Renee say.

"Yes, that may happen," she said, getting defensive.

"Bella, you do understand that if you become Amish you will never see any of us again," Phil said. I was starting to wonder where his knowledge was coming form.

"I understand that, look this is a lose, lose, situation. Either I don't see you or he doesn't see his family. Either way it sucks," she said and I couldn't agree more. The whole situation did suck.

"What about school?" Charlie asked.

"I have more of an education than most Amish people," Bella said.

"She is right, most Amish people don't go to high school. Bella, this is something that you really need to think about. You have to learn their bible, their language, you will have to learn a lot before you will be accepted," Phil said. That wasn't all true, but she would have to learn a lot. She was already accepted.

"I know alright? I know everything that you all are telling me. Mrs. Cullen explained everything to me..."

"Who is Mrs. Cullen?" Renee asked, sounding like a snot.

"That's Edward's mother," Bella said. "Look, we are just seeing where it all goes. We are both undecided," she said, sounding defeated. I knew I couldn't let her face this alone. I was mad at her, but I still loved her.

"Bella's right, we are both undecided," I said walking back into the kitchen. "Who's to say that this will even work out," I added as I sat back down next to her.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked me.

"I'm just being honest. Who's to say that either one of us can leave our families," I said to her as she looked back down.

"Well enough of this for right now, but we will talk about this later," Charlie said as every one grew quiet. We all ate in silence for quite a while.

"Is it because of me?" Renee asked. All I did was roll my eyes.

"This has nothing to do with you Renee," I said before Bella could respond.

"I just know I wasn't the best mother. I don't know what I would do if I was never able to see you again," she said, and I did understand that.

"Mom, nothing is set in stone. We don't know what we are doing yet," Bella said in a quite voice. The tension was think through out dinner. After dinner we all sat in the living room and had a talk.

"Do you two love each other?" Renee asked.

"Very much so," I said without missing a beat.

"I don't know what I would do with him," Bella said, and that made me smile.

"You're both so young, can't you wait a couple of years to see what you want?" Charlie said with a pained voice.

"Charlie, in the Amish world I am a man. After Rumspringa, I am expected to get married and start a family. I don't have a couple of years," I said, trying to explain to him my predicament.

"You guys are only seventeen years old," Charlie said, and then was lost for words.

"We would never see our grand babies?" Renee asked, and Charlie looked like he was going to cry.

"If she became Amish, no," I told them. Why lie?

"I don't know if I can deal with all of this!" Renee said as she started to cry.

"Mom, we have until the end of the summer. Like we have both said, we don't know what is going to happen. Everything can change in a matter of months," Bella told her mother.

I understood what they were feeling, I was having the same feelings. I didn't want to never see my family again. I wanted to go back. I didn't know if the outside world was for me anymore.

"It's late, just get some sleep. We don't have to talk about this until we know what is going on," Bella said as she stood up still holding tight to my hand. "We are going to hang out in my room," Bella said as we made our way up the stairs. I went to my room and changed and grabbed the stuff I would need for the night.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked as soon as the door was closed.

"I didn't want to say anything until we knew what we were doing," she told me as I paced the length of the room. "Why should I have upset them if it was never going to happen?" she asked me. Once again I understood, but she didn't know what I was thinking.

"I don't know if I can stay here," I told her. "I don't know if I could handle never seeing my family again. I want to see the nephews and niece grow up, I'm missing everyone like crazy, and it is killing me that I can't go there just to say hi," I said, as the tears came. "I didn't think it would be this hard. I want to be with you more than anything, but I can't ask you to leave your family," I told her. All she did was stare at me with tears in her eyes.

"If this is about Jacob, I'm sorry! I wish it had never happened. I wish I could take it back! I was stupid and selfish and I know I don't deserve you. I love you Edward, only you, no one else," she told me.

"I hate what you did with him. I wanted to be the only man you ever touched. I have been sure about us from our first kiss. I hate that he is in your life," I told her as I wiped my tears away. "You know what, it was selfish, the most selfish thing you could have done!" I said as I started to raise my voice. "I'm telling you right now Bella, if I see that you have talked to him or even utter his name I swear, hand to god, that I will leave and NEVER talk to you again," I said, trying to keep my anger in. "Honestly, I don't trust you. I knew when you left last year that it was a possibility that there would be other boys, but having oral with them? Is that even part of dating? I know we come from two different worlds, but come on Bella, I'm not stupid," I said as she stood up from the bed.

"I said I was fucking sorry! I love you so much that I would leave right now with you if you said so. Jake was a mistake, I wish I could take it back. I can't though and I hate that I can't. You are the only man that I am ever going to want. If you leave me I will be alone forever because I will never feel what I feel when I am with you with any one else. When we touch or kiss, there is this warm feeling that I get all through out my body..." she said as I touched her arms.

"I know what you mean," I told her as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I want you to stay the summer, please. If you want to leave and you don't want me I will understand, but please give me the summer," she begged, and I cried into the crook of her neck and she cried into my shirt.

"Baby, I will always want you, but we can't always have what we want. I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I can't ask you to leave your family, not after tonight," I told her as she sobbed into my shirt.

"This isn't fair... I-I-I just find you and now I am going to lose you," she said as I tried to sooth her. "I will leave my family for you, I don't care what they think..."

"Yes you do," I said, cutting her off, "they love you. They want to see their grand babies, I don't want to deny them that. I won't take you away from here, but I honestly don't know if I can stay," I told her as she cried into my shirt more.

"Don't leave, please I beg you. Don't leave for right now. At the end of the summer if you don't want to be here then you can go back home, I won't stop you. I have known you for a year and I have spent a total of three weeks with you, please give me two months. I know I am being selfish again, but please stay the summer," she said as she looked me in the face.

"I can give you two months," I told her as she smiled through her tears.

"Thank you, I love you so much!" she said as she kissed me all over my face. "We're okay now?" she asked as we stood there in each other arms.

"Yeah for now, but I was serious about the whole Jacob thing," I told her as she nodded her head. "I know you probably think I'm being a jerk, but that is how I feel."

"Edward, I understand. I'm sure I would feel the same way," she told me as I started to feel better. We were quiet for a few minutes, then she started to speak, "I don't want to be selfish, if you want to go home to your family I understand. You have the family I always wanted," she said looking at the floor.

"I want to stay the summer, but I know I may hurt you at the end," I told her feeling torn.

"I know I could be setting myself up for a heart break, but you're worth it," she told me sincerely.

"It's not just you who will have a broken heart," I told her. I was starting to understand the way Jacob felt. I was doing the same thing. I was being selfish by staying, but I just couldn't leave.

Charlie's POV

"Charlie what are we going to do?" Renee asked me.

"I don't know if there is anything that we can do," I told her as I felt Leah rub my back.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"She doesn't know what she wants, this could be young love or the true thing. No will ever know, only the two upstairs will know," Leah said. I hated when she made sense.

"I think I need to talk to Carlisle, maybe there is some way to make this work for them," I said as Leah nodded her head. "I know they love with each other, I mean just look at the way they look at one another," I said as Leah giggled.

"I don't doubt their love either," Leah said as Renee huffed.

"Well I'm glad you know my daughter so well. Who is Carlisle?" Renee asked.

"First of all, stop talking to Leah that way. She is the one that has been here. Second of all, Carlisle is Edward's father," I said. Nothing was said after that because we heard Edward and Bella getting loud with one another. I hated the thought of the two of them fighting, but I knew they need to figure things out. "I'm going to go sit at the top of the stairs, I just want to make sure it doesn't get out of hand," I said as every one followed me.

We all sat at the top of the stairs and heard every word of their argument. What I understood was that something happened between Bella and Jacob that Edward didn't like. I was happy and sad at the same time when I heard Edward say that he wasn't going to take her away from her family. My heart broke when I heard my baby girls sob. I understood that he didn't want to to leave his family. The four of us all looked at each other and we were all torn. After eavesdropping on them I knew that I indeed needed to talk to Carlisle.

Carlisle's POV

"Esme!" I yelled joyously. "I did it! I did it!"

"It's really going to happen?" she asked in shock.

"Yes, we have to tell Edward!"

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Hhhmm I wonder what they have to tell him... let me know what you think? If you want check out my new story, when does it end!


	22. Chapter 23

Okay this is the beginning of the end. The ending will not be realistic, but this is how I want to end the story, so if you don't like unrealistic ending then don't read. Please remember that this is just a story. There will on be two or three chapters left... maybe.

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Charlie's POV

I knew I needed to talk to Carlisle, but I didn't know if there was any thing that could be done. I hated to see my daughter heart broken and I wanted some way to fix it. I pulled into the Cullen house and saw the man that I wanted to talk to.

"Charlie, is everything okay?" Carlisle asked as we approached one another.

"For the most part," I told him, not knowing how to talk to him about this. "Our kids want to be together, but it seems to be against all odds. I'm just wondering if it can happen?" I asked him as he started to smile.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked me. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew I was going to find out.  
After I was seated in the house, Carlisle and his wife sat across from me. "Charlie, this is my wife Esme," he said, introducing me.

"It's good to finally meet you Chief Swan," she said, giving me a head nod.

"Same to Esme, Bella speaks a great deal about you," I told her as she beamed like a proud mother. The bond they had I would probably never know. "So how are we going to help our kids," I asked.  
Carlisle told me what he was able to do. I was half happy about it, half sad. It really was a win, win situation, but they were so young. I didn't know if this was going to be a possibility. I knew now that we needed to talk with the kids.

"Would you like to come to my house for dinner tonight? The kids will be gone for the day, this will be like a surprise to them as well," I said as Esme looked overly excited. "This is actually a perfect time because, Renee, Bella's mother is in town," I said as Esme's face fell. "I take it Bella told you about her mother," I said with a chuckle.

"Please forgive me, I shouldn't of made a face," she said regretfully.

"No worries, I make that face every time," I said as we all laughed. They were such nice people that I now understood why Bella wanted to be part of their family. "So, we will see you tonight?" I asked, getting ready to leave.

"Yes, would it be alright to bring our youngest, Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, of course." I said, heading for the door. I had to call Leah and inform her of our plans. I knew she wouldn't have a problem with it. The only thing that I was worried about was Renee.

"Hello?" she said into her phone.

"Hi, Renee. I have something to discusses with you. Are you with the kids?" I asked her, knowing that they were probably still asleep.

"No they are sleeping. What's going on?"

"Is Leah still there?" I asked her. I swear I could hear her roll her eyes.

"Yeah she is right here."

"Good put me on speaker phone I need to speak with both of you," I said as I heard her fiddle with the phone.

"Hey sweetie what's up?" I heard Leah's sweet voice say.

"Okay I am only going to say this once. We are having the Cullen's over tonight for dinner. I figured we will just have a cookout, hamburgers, hot dogs, and a couple of salads," I said as they both said they understood. "There will be no fighting between the two of you, got it?" I asked, and again they both said they understood. "This is about Bella and Edward, not you two. I will be highly embarrassed if you two start your shit. That is something the Cullen's don't need to see. Bella has already talked to Esme about you Renee, so I think you need to change her impression of you," I said.

"I understand, Charlie. I just want the best for our daughter," she said. Nothing Renee said really meant anything to me. Actions speak louder than words.

BPOV

The fight that Edward and I had was bad. I'm starting to think that I am going to lose him. I don't know what I will do with myself if I lost him. I knew this was a possibility, but I just wanted to be blind to it. I knew that he couldn't leave his family. I never wanted him to. I always believed that there were no regrets, just lessons very well learned, but I was truly regretting what had happened with Jake. I should of just stayed friends with him. I should of waited for Edward. I didn't though, and I couldn't change that.

I was too selfish of a person to go down without a fight. I had two months with him and I was going to use those months to show him everything that I could. I knew that if he wanted to be with his family then I wouldn't stand in his way, I would let him go. I knew deep down in my heart that I would never find another person like him. He was the best of the best. I knew I would never love any one as much as I love him. Any one that I was ever with would be second best. Edward would be the only man to hold my whole heart. If he left he would take it with him.

EPOV

I knew Bella wanted to go to the beach today and I was excited. The events from the night before were eye opening. I saw Bella in a new light. She fully let her guard down and when she did, all I saw was a sad little girl. If I went back to my family, part of me felt like I was abandoning her. I didn't know if I could go my whole life without her. This was such a hard situation. All I knew was that I was going to try to enjoy the next two months and that started with going to the beach, even if it was with Renee.

"Rise and shine!" I heard Renee's voice. All I wanted to do was roll over and ignore her. "Come on sleepy head, Bella is already down here," she said as I stood up. I wrapped my blanket around me and headed upstairs to use the bathroom.

"Morning," I said as I met Bella at the top of the stairs.

"Hey," she said with a smile. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Not really. That couch is so uncomfortable," I told her as she chuckled at me.

"I would have agree with you. Okay, let's go eat breakfast and then we can get out of here for the day," she said as she headed down to the kitchen. After I used the restroom, I went back downstairs and joined Bella for breakfast.

"Bella, would you be upset if I didn't go to the beach with you today?" Renee asked as I rolled my eyes. Of course she wouldn't go, I think she liked to disappoint her daughter.

"Mom, you were the one that wanted to go," Bella said as I saw the disappointment on her face.

"I know, but something came up..."

"Are you leaving?" Bella asked interrupting her mother.

"No, it's just... I can't tell you, but I still want you to go," Renee said and she looked like she was up to something.

"What are you up to?" Ah, Bella saw it too.

"Nothing."

"Bells, just go and have a good time. You will understand later," Phil interjected. Now I knew something was going on because Phil didn't say much ever.

"I will when some one tells me what's going on," Bella said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Just be home for dinner, that's all you are going to get out of me," Renee said.

"Fine, but I'm not happy about it," Bella said as she finished her breakfast.

After we were done with breakfast it wasn't long before we were out of the house and headed for the beach. I thought that it was pathetic that Phil gave us fifty bucks and told us to have a good time. It was a perfect summer day. The temperature was around eighty five with no humidity. I was surprised that there wasn't a lot of people at the beach. We picked a place to lay our towels and I sat down and soaked up the sun.

"It really is a perfect day," I said as Bella took her shirt and shorts off. My eyes about popped out of my head when I saw her in a little white two piece. "Bella! It looks like you are wearing underwear!" I said, probably louder than needed. "Men are going to gawk at you," I told her handing her back her shirt. "For my sanity please put this on," I told her as she sat on my lap giggling.

"Edward, this is what I always wear," she told me as I wrapped my arms around her body trying to hide it. "You don't like the way I look?" she asked me as I started to feel bad.

"No you look great, but I should be the only one to you like this," I told her as she kissed me.

"Will you put sun block on me, I burn like paper," she said as I started to rub the lotion on her. This really wasn't the best thing for me at the moment. My girlfriend was in a tiny bathing suit, she kept kissing me and now I was rubbing sun screen on her. I didn't think I would be able to get up and get in the water. "Do you want me to rub some on you?"

"No, I'm good. I'll just do my face," I told her knowing that I wouldn't be able to contain myself if she did.

I had to laugh as I watched Bella run towards the water, she looked like a little kid. The water was warm and very welcoming. I had so much fun in the water with her. We saw who could hold their breath the longest, we did hand stands in the water, we raced to see who could swim the fastest. All I could win was the fastest swimmer. She beat me by mere seconds with seeing who could hold our breath the longest, and I could not do a hand stand. The day couldn't of been any better. After we got out of the water we laid in the sun until we dried.

"Did you have fun?" she asked me as we got dressed.

"Yes, I think today was the best day."

"I'm kinda glad my mother didn't come," she told me and part of me agreed. "Don't get me wrong, it was a shit move and I know she is up to something."

"I have to agree with you, as soon as Phil put his two cents in I knew something was going on," I told her as we started packing our bags. "What do you think it is?"

"I have no clue. Are you hungry?" she asked as I put the beach bag over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I think swimming emptied my stomach," I told her as we walked hand and hand.

We agreed on the restaurant that was facing the beach. We both ordered ice tea to drink. Bella ordered a cheese burger, and I ordered a steak We talked about what we wanted to do for the rest of the summer. She said that I was going to start driving, but at this point it wasn't on my list of priorities. I knew that I wanted to come to the beach again. She told me about a school dance the following weekend and there was a carnival coming up as well.

The dance really didn't excite me, but the carnival, yeah that made me feel like a little kid. I have seen it in the past years all set up, I've always wanted to go. She told me that we would go on rides, play games and eat lot of food. She sounded more excited about the food than any thing else. This was one of the things that I loved about her, she was simple. I knew when she was upset, I knew when she was happy, I knew when she wanted something. She was a little selfish, but I understood why, and I thought she was getting better with it.

The night before when she said that I could leave, I knew then that she was being selfless. I didn't really know of her selfishness until I moved into her house, but that was all part of getting to know some one. You had to take the good with the bad. I didn't know if she would would be able to become Amish. She really didn't have it in her to be completely submissive. I would let her have her say when we were by ourselves, but I think she would get carried away if some other man said something she didn't agree with. I honestly thought that I was falling more in love with her in her own elements. I was getting to see her true self. The only thing I could do without was her selfishness. Other than that I thought that she was my perfect match.

We walked around the beach and we stopped at some of the shops and looked around. She bought herself a key chain and had it engraved with our names on it. She said no matter what happened at the end of the summer, that I would always hold her heart. I kissed her with everything that I had in me. I wanted to have a night alone with her again, I was hoping that it would happen again soon. I knew I wouldn't be spending it with the boys. I did want to hang with Ben again before I left. That thought was bringing me down, so I knew I had to get out of my own thoughts.

"I've got an idea," Bella said pulling me along with her. When I asked what she was talking about, all she said was that it was a surprised. Today was just full of surprises. We drove for almost a half and hour before she pulled off on a dirt road. "Get out," she said with a huge smile on her face, I walked to the back of the car and she threw her arms around my neck and gave me a loving kiss.

"Bella we have to be back for dinner," I told her as I pulled back from the heated kiss she just gave me.

"I know, it's just that we haven't had much time alone and if we have been alone we have been fighting," she said as she started to pout.

"I promise, just you and me tonight," I told her and I moved back in on her lips. I wanted to give her what she wanted.

We had fought a lot the last few days and she deserved some attention. As the kiss continued I grabbed a hold of her bottom, lifting her up on to the trunk of the car. My hands roamed her body. I was getting used to being in charge of these types of situations. I ran my hand from her ankles up to the bottom of her shirt.

"I want you in your bathing suit," I told her as she smiled at me.

I lifted her shirt and pulled it off, I was happy to see her nipples through her top. I slowly unbuttoned her shorts as her breathing picked up. I wanted her more than anything at that moment. I wanted to go so much further with her. I knew we were limited on time, but I was going to make the most of it. She pulled my shirt off as our lips met once again. I loved kissing her. Her tongue and lips were so soft. My hand grazed her breast and she moaned into my mouth. I didn't know what I was doing once again, but I went with my instinct. I knew we couldn't continue with _this_ on the trunk of her car, so I lifted her and opened the door to the back seat. As I laid her down and crawled on top of her she let out a small giggle.

"What's so funny?" I asked her as I untied her bottoms.

"You don't know how cliche this is," she said as she started to kiss me. I started to kiss her neck as my hand went down lower on her body. I was so nervous and my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest, but this was something that I been wanting to do. I pulled down the front of her bottoms and I saw that she had no hair down there. I took it as and outsider thing.

"You're so beautiful," I told her as my eyes roamed her body. I was breathing heavy and had shaky hands, but that wasn't stopping me from having this... her.

"I love you," she said as we stared at one another.

"As I love you," I told her as we started to kiss. That kiss was full of love and passion, nothing else mattered at that moment.

Our hands groped each other feverishly. It wasn't long before she had me in her little hand. I loved when she jerked me off. I never thought anything could feel better, until I put my finger in her. My brain was hazy and I couldn't think straight. As soon as I felt her vagina, I lost all control. Her moans and whimpers were driving me crazy! I wanted nothing more than to lose my virtue right there, but I didn't think it was classy in the backseat of a car.

Part of me was doing this because I wanted to, but part of me wanted to be better than Jacob. I knew I already had more of Bella than he ever would have, but I wanted to be selfish. I not only wanted her heart, but her soul and body. As I moved my finger in and out of her, I used my thumb to rub her little hard nub. I wanted to make her come. I knew I couldn't hold on much longer with her taking care of me. I put another finger inside of her. Her moan rocked through my body and just as my orgasm over took me her's did as well. The muscles inside of her clamped down on my fingers and our cum mixed together on her vagina.

I laid my head on her chest and we both said nothing. The only sounds that filled the car was our heavy breathing. I couldn't believe what had just happened, did she mean for this to happen? I sat up on my knees and I saw her looking ravished. I was proud that I did this to her. I leaned down giving her another kiss thanking her for what had just happened.

"Do you have anything to clean up with?" I asked her as she propped herself up on her elbows.

"Yeah there are napkins in the glove box," she told me as I reached over the front seat. I was caught off guard when she slapped in on the butt.

"What was that for?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Because you have a cute ass," she said with the cutest laugh.

"Remember that when I tap yours."

"I like the sound of that."

"So you want me to swat at your ass?"

"I love it when you use naughty words," she said as we both laughed. When we were both clean, we dressed and climbed out of the backseat. "Okay, now that you are done distracting me," she said as she straightened her shorts.

"You were the one who started the distracting," I told her as she went to put her shirt back on. "No leave it off," I told her giving her the crooked smile that she loved.

"Fine, but we were both distracting each other. Anyways, you are driving home!" she said, leaving me at the back of the car and climbing into the passengers seat.

"Bella, I don't think I'm ready!" I told her before she closed the door.

"Yes you are, I believe in you," she said. I stood there for a whole minute before I moved to the driver side. When I opened the door she started giving me instructions. "You are going to want to push the seat back before you get in, pull the lever on the bottom of the seat," I did as she said and got in. "Now move the mirrors so you can see out of them," I did that as well. I was getting nervous. "Now start the car. Then you are going to press on the brake as you put the car in drive and slowly push the gas. You don't need to go fast. Just do what makes you comfortable," she said, patting me on the leg.

Before I knew it I was driving and doing over twenty miles an hour. I was a natural. I felt comfortable, like I was meant to drive. I did get nervous when I had to make a left hand turn, but I did it pretty well. When I pulled into the driveway, I turned to her and I was sure I had a huge goofy grin on my face.

"I don't think you will be driving much any more," I told her as she laughed.

"You did awesome!" she praised. "I'm not going to lie, but I was scared at first. Once you got the hang of it I wasn't scared anymore!" she said. "And yes, you can drive whenever you want!" she said getting out of the car and then throwing her arms around my neck.

When we walked into the house it was too quiet. We knew every one was home. I really thought that they would be shedding each other's blood. We both headed upstairs and Bella cranked her music while we both showered. As I was coming out of the bathroom and Bella was going in, Charlie was making his way up the stairs.

"Where's Bella?

"Taking a shower," I said holding the towel on my waist making sure it didn't fall off.

"Turn the music down and come downstairs,"

"Like this?" I asked looking down at the towel.

"You know what I meant smart ass. I think you are spending to much time with my daughter," he said with a chuckle. I went into Bella's room and turned the music off.

"What the hell?" I heard Bella yell.

"Sorry Charlie said to turn it down," I told her sticking my head into the bathroom. I heard him mumble a whatever, but didn't say anything against it.

I went to my room and realized that I didn't really have any clothes. I looked into the laundry basket and saw that some one must of washed my clothes. I put on a pair of jean shorts and headed downstairs to find Leah.

"Leah?" I asked as I got the the bottom of the stairs.

"In the kitchen," she said back.

"Hey, do you know where my... MOM!"

"Oh yeah she's right there," Leah said as I stood there shirtless staring at my mother.

"Did something happen?" I asked.

"No, just came for supper and to see you," she said as she stood. I walked over to her putting my arms around her giving her a hug.

"I've missed you," I said as she hugged me tighter. "Is Alice and father here?" I asked her.

"You look so weird without a shirt," I heard Alice say. I gave her a hug and she giggled.

"Okay, this is so weird, I can't even think straight," I said as my father walked into the room.

"You were going to ask me something," Leah said as I gave my dad a man hug.

"Yeah, where are my clothes?" I ask as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Down in the basement," she said with a giggle as I excused myself. This was way too weird. Now I really knew something was going on and my nerves were about shot. As soon as I found my shirt I heard squeals. Actually I heard Alice and Bella's squeals.

"Oh my goodness! What are you all doing here?" Bella questioned. By this time every one was in the kitchen and there was an awkward silence.

"Just to visit! Will you show me your room?" Alice asked way too hyper.

"Alice, calm down. We are for a reason, but show you sister around first," my father said to me as we made our way up the stairs.

Alice look at and touched everything. It made me laugh as I watched her look at everything that we had never had. After only being here for a week I would never want Alice here. She was too sweet and would get taken advantage of. I would be fine here because I am able to defend myself. I was loving that my family was here. I had been missing them so much and this was making me feel better, although I wanted to know why they were here.

"Alice, do you know why you are here?" I asked.

"I have no idea. I didn't even think to ask, I was just so excited to come here," she said still excited. "I think we should go find out," she said as she went to the door.

"Okay I feel like I am going crazy, can we please know what is going on?" I asked as we got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, dinner is done so let's sit," Charlie said. "Carlisle I think you and explain it best," Charlie said, motioning to my father.

"Okay, so the elders and I have been discussing the both of you for a year and I think we figured out this situation," he said waving his hand between Bella and I. Okay here it comes, I had a feeling this was going to make or break us...

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Oh no! What happened to the rest of the this chapter... oh yeah that's right I haven't finished that part yet... have no fear I am almost done with the next chapter and you will have all of your answers... please don't hate just trust me it will be worth it! Please review it makes me type faster.


	23. Chapter 24

MUST READ! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A FICTION STORY THERE FOR THIS SOLUTION COULD NEVER HAPPEN... that I know of

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Epov

We all were seated around the table and I had saw my family do a silent prayer before they ate their food. I really wanted to know what was going on, but it seemed like every time they would start to tell us, some one would compliment the food, mostly Alice.

"Alice, please stop talking," I said, begging her with my eyes.

"Oh yeah, sorry," she said as she ate her food.

"Okay, so like I was saying, there is a way for you to be together, but there are some conditions," Carlisle said, looking to Charlie. He didn't look very comfortable.  
"Now, let me ask you this, are you both one hundred percent sure that you want to be together?" my father asked, looking at the both of us. Bella and I both smiled at one another before answering. We said yes in unison and then chuckled. "Okay then, Edward, you will remain Amish in the outside world. Bella, you will have to learn German, also our bible. You will need to know it word for word as if you were Amish. You both will attend church on Sunday's dressed accordingly. You both will attend all family events in Amish attire. Bella, your father and I have also done some compromising as well. Edward, you will have to get a job. I have arraigned for you to work at the factory full time. Money is not discussed in from of the women so we will have that conversation later," he told me as I heard Renee huff.

"I can deal with all of that, but do I get to finish high school?" Bella asked, looking at the fathers.

"Yes, and you also can go to college if you would like," he told her as she smiled her approval.

"So, I will have to be Amish, but I still get to keep my life and family?" she asked looking excited. "I can so do that!" she said as she hugged me.

"Let's not be hasty. There is still more, probably the most important condition," Charlie said looking back at Carlisle.

"Yes, that's right. The biggest thing is that you have to get married as soon as possible," he said as I smiled and Bella dropped her jaw.

"We have to get married?" she asked as if it was the worst thing in the world.

"Absolutely not! My daughter is not getting married at sixteen and not before she is out of high school!" Renee said, raising her voice.

"Renee, it's not your decision," Charlie said glaring at her.

"Renee, they are being very reasonable. We should be lucky that this is even happening," Phil said and once again I wanted to know how he knew so much. "The Amish are very black and white, Edward and Bella are going to have to prove themselves or they _will_ change their minds. I say go for it and if you need any help, just let me know," Phil said to Bella and that shut Renee up.

"May I ask how you know so much?" I finally asked him.

"My grandfather was Amish. He was very strict and even though he lived in the English world, he still raised his family the Amish way. I know the bible and I speak fluent German," Phil said.

"How did I not know this?" Renee asked shocked.

"That is so cool," Bella said as she smiled at him. "I will take as much help as I can get."

"So, you're going to marry me?" I asked as I smiled at her.

"I will to be with you," she said as I leaned in to give her a kiss. I wasn't thinking straight because with my family there I would of never done that. I was just so happy that Bella was going to be my wife.

"Hate to break this up, but you need your parents to sign for you to get married now and I won't give my permission," Renee said with a smug smile.

"I am the police chief and I know the law, and if you knew it correctly, you would know that she only needs one parent's consent. I will sign," Charlie said.

"Thank you," Bella said.

"You are a little young, but if this is how I get to keep you, then this wedding will happen," Charlie said matter-of-factly.

"Are there any rules for us to have children?" Bella asked and her parents about choked on their food. It really was a good question. If we were going really going to live the Amish life, kids would be in our near future.

"Well, we assume that you are on some sort of prevention?" my father asked. Bella nodded not looking embarrassed, (but) I was. That was none of his business.

"That's not your business," I said to my father, staring him in the eyes.

"You are right, but with your situation you are allowed to finish high school before you start having children. You have a year to conceive after you graduate," he said as Bella nodded her head. "Edward has more say on that subject than I do. You two can discuss this in private," my father told her as I kinda dreaded that conversation.

"Charlie, you are okay with all of this?" Renee asked. I was surprised how quiet Leah was being. I figured Charlie had asked her not to argue with Renee.

"I'm with Charlie on this, you need to chill," Phil said in a final tone. The shocker was that she listened.

"Would you all mind if Bella and I had a moment to talk?" I asked, wanting to know what she was really feeling. Both of the fathers nodded their head in approval. We walked away from the table and walked out the back door and we sat on the back steps. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her temple.

"How are you feeling about everything?" I asked her as she sighed.

"A little overwhelmed. Knowing that I may be a mother in two years scares me a little," she said to me as I chuckled at her.

"So you are okay with us getting married?" I asked. I thought that would bother her more than anything.

"Honestly getting married does not bother me. I'm a little excited to be Bella Cullen."

"I love you."

"I love you," she said as I kissed her. "What are you going to do about your mother?" I asked her as she laid her head on my chest.

"I'll talk to her," she said with a sigh. "It's not like she is going to be for long. Is it bad that I don't care what she thinks?"

"Yes and no. If it makes you feel better I don't care either," I said as we both laughed. "We should get back inside," I said as we stood. "It is nice to see my family," I told her.

"I would have to agree with you. I would really like to see Emmett, Rosalie and the kids," she told me. The thought excited me.

"Maybe we can do it soon," I told her taking her hand and leading her back into the house. Every one was eating in silence when we sat back down.

"So when do we do this?" Bella asked.

"Bella, please I beg you not to do this," Renee said.

"Mom, I love Edward. I have never wanted anything more. You need to accept this or it could go the other way and I could never see you again," she said as I saw my mother smirk. "I know what you think of people getting married too young, I get that, but this is different. Please don't make me choose because I will not choose you."  
You could of heard a pin drop in the room. I think this was the first time that Bella had ever stood up to her mother and I couldn't be more proud.

"How can you say such a thing?" Renee said.

"Why would I choose you? If this was dad saying this I would think twice. Your words mean nothing to me. You are just going to leave in a few days and who knows when I am going to see you again? So, yeah I wouldn't choose you," Bella said as she looked at her plate.

Renee looked as if she was going to cry. Charlie, Leah, and my mother looked proud. I was right there with them. It took a lot of guts for Bella to say those things. I thought that it needed to be said. I was also thinking that Bella was seeing how selfish her mother was and I knew she didn't want to be like that. Bella could have said no to everything that was wanted of us, but she didn't. She wanted this and it made me the happiest man alive. She was becoming less selfish each day, I could see it. Renee had her reality check for the day and Bella had officially shut her up. I didn't think that was possible. The rest if the dinner flew by. Charlie was good at breaking tension and changing the subject. He didn't really change the subject, he talked about Bella and I getting married on Saturday. My father seemed happy and said that they would be there.

Normally we would be wed in November on a Thursday, but this was a special situation. We were going to go to the town hall to be married by the Justice of the Peace. We decided that Bella and I wouldn't we dress in Amish attire. Once Bella learns what she needs to learn, then she will wear the clothes. Our life as man in wife was going to start in two days, it was a little overwhelming. As time ticked by I knew that my family would be leaving, I thought that I would have been sad. I wasn't, knowing that I could see them whenever I wanted helped a lot. My father, Charlie and I went to talk on the front porch. Before they stared talking I had something ask.

"I know that it may not be the smartest thing to do, but I really want to do something nice for Bella," I told them. "I still have the two hundred dollars that you had giving me and I was wondering if I could get Bella a ring. I don't know what I can get for that amount of money, but I want to get her something," I said as they both smiled at me.

"I think that is a very nice idea," my father said.

"I have a diamond ring and necklace set that you can have set into one ring. It was my mother's, so I know Bella would really like it. It will also cost less than getting a brand new ring," Charlie said as I beamed with happiness.

"Thanks," I said, knowing that she would love having something that had meaning.

"We can go tomorrow to the jewelers, I'm sure the girls will go shopping for a dress for Bells to wear on Saturday," Charlie said and I felt like I wanted to jump up and down.

"I am going to have to leave soon, so I want to discuss your job. You will be getting paid ten dollars an hour, you will be working from six am till two Monday thru Friday. You will be starting this Monday coming. You do not have attend church this Sunday, but every one following you will be there," my father told me in his stern tone.

"Yes, we will be there," I told him.

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Bpov

My mother was truly pissing me off and I wanted nothing more than for her to shut the fuck up. She was embarrassing me and I was sick of her acting like she had some sort of say. She stayed quiet after my little rant, which made me happy. I couldn't believe that Phil had an Amish past and I knew I wanted to pick his brain at a later date.

I was getting married in two days and I was ecstatic. What girl didn't want to get married? Sure it wasn't the wedding that I always wanted, but Edward was the man of my dreams and it didn't matter to me. When the 'men' went outside, I started to talk with Mrs. Cullen.

"I will need to measure you so I know what size to make your clothes," she told me as I giggled at the thought of wearing Amish clothes.

"I can go get the material that you need, I just need to know what to buy," I told her as she chuckled at me.

"I have plenty of fabric to make you a dress. Right now you will only need one," she said as my mother sat with us in silence and Leah looked as if she wanted to say something. I had a feeling that this wouldn't be a happy house later.

"I don't know how all of this is going to work, but can I at least wear a dress?" I asked getting excited. "I don't want anything fancy, but I do know where I can get the perfect dress," I told them.

"It's your day sweetie, you can do whatever you want," Leah said as Esme agreed.

"I could go with you if you would like," my mother said speaking for the first time.

"I would really like that," I said to her giving her a warm smile. "I would also like Leah to come with us, if you two can go without fighting for a couple of hours," I said, just hoping that they could put their differences aside.

"I think we can mange that," Leah said being the peace maker.

"I agree," my mother said as I was dumbfounded.

"I time to get going," Mr. Cullen said. "It was nice to see you again Bella. Welcome to the family and we will see you on Saturday," he said to me with a head nod. It meant a lot to me when he said that I was welcomed into the family. I was going to be a Cullen.

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Renee's pov

After the kids went upstairs I asked Leah if I would be able to talk with her. We went and sat out on the porch. It was a little awkward at first, but this all needed to be said.

"I want to thank you for being there for Bella through all of this," I said to her as she stared at me. "I know I am a shit mother, that's why I left her with Charlie. I knew he could be the parent that I never could. I actually hoped that he wouldn't have waited so long to get married, but Bells really seems to care for you. I guess that is all I wanted to say," I told her. I wanted her say something, anything, but all she did was stare at me.

"I don't know what to say," she tells me and this makes me laugh.

"If the shoe was on the other foot I know I probably would be flabbergasted too," I said as we laughed together.

"Renee, I don't like you and I don't have too, but I will for Bella. I love her like a daughter as well," she said as I understood. "Would you like a glass of wine?" she asked me and I knew at that moment that our dislike for one another was over. She was back before I knew it and the wine was what I needed.

"I want to do something special for the two of them. Do you think we could put together a little party afterwords?"

"I think that is the best idea. I know Charlie would like to have a father daughter dance with her," she said and I couldn't agree more. I knew this was going to take a toll on Charlie. "Do you think the Cullens would come?"

"I don't see why not," I said. "They came tonight," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I was shocked at how well the two of us worked together. I would just have to figure out how the two of us could get away without being noticed.

I didn't like that Bella is getting married so young, but she is like me in that way. When we want something we would do anything to get it. Once we would get it we would never let it go. That was how I knew that Bella was doing something she truly wanted. I would be there for her even if I didn't agree with it. Phil was right this all could have been worse, I could of lost my daughter forever. This was my second chance and I wasn't going to waste it.

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Epov

"I'm going to go shopping in the morning with my mom and Leah," she told me as she changed into her night clothes. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I think they will get along," she said as she sat next to me. "I can't believe we are getting married! I'm going to get a dress," she said, flinging her arms around my neck and planting her lips on mine. I would want to get married every day if this was how she was going act.

"Baby, there are some things that I do need to talk to you about," I told her. I sat up and pulled my shirt off and laid next to her in the bed intertwining our fingers.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked as she melted into my side.

"Well, I start work on Monday. I will be gone from six till two in the afternoon. I think I am making pretty good money so we should be okay," I told her as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm planing on getting a job too," she told me.

"You don't have to."

"I know, but I want to," she told me.

"What about when school starts? We will never see one another."

"Well, I will only be working part time and my schedule for school will be light. Let's make a deal, if it cuts into our time too much I will find something that works for us. Should we open a bank account or do you want to keep the account I have with my mother?" she asked me.

"Well, now that we will be married I don't think we should take your mothers money, but this is stuff that we can talk about when we have more money," I told her as she nodded.

"Yeah you're right, I will have to talk to her about that though because I think she has to pay child support until I'm eighteen, but I'm not sure now that we will be married."

"We also need to talk about the children situation," I said as she groaned. "Do you want kids?"

"Yes, but not right now."

"Well, I want kids as soon as possible."

"Edward, I'm sixteen. We don't even have to have kids for like two years, can't we talk about his later?" she asked. I knew she was excited about getting married, but this was something that she needed to know.

"We could, but I think it is better if we do this now," I said as she groaned again. "When you are done with this pack of pills I want you to stop taking them."

"Edward! Come on!" she said interrupting me.

"Let me finish," I said pulling her back on my chest. "Things are going to be a little different between us in the bedroom. The Amish believe that sex is only for reproduction not pleasure, but I think for us it will be for both," I said as she giggled. "We will not use condoms, but I won't come inside you until you graduate. If you get pregnant before then, it was meant to be. And please don't take it behind my back."

"Can we talk about this?" she asked me, sounding scared.

"There really isn't nothing to talk about, this is how it is going to happen. There is nothing to be scared of," I told her as she let out a defeated sigh.

"I think this is a bad idea, what if I get pregnant before I am out of school? Who would take care of the baby while you are at work and me at school?"

"My mother."

"What if we don't have our own place?"

"We will get our own place as soon as possible," I told her. I could tell that she was getting frustrated with me, but there wasn't an excuse that she could come up with that I wouldn't have a solution. "As soon as we are married we will only spend our money on necessities and we will save everything else. When we get the bank account figured out, I will keep the bank book up to date and if you need something all you have to do is ask," I told her as she sat up.

"I'm not asking my 'husband'," she said, making air quotes, "for money every time I need something. I am capable of taking care of a check book as well," she huffed.

"I never said you weren't, but it is my job to provide for us and you don't need to worry about the money. Again, that is my job. Honestly you probably won't ever know how much money we have."

"Like hell I won't!"

"Bella, I'm not fighting you on this. There really isn't anything to fight about, this is the way it is. You know you have no say when it comes to money matters. We will talk about how money is spent, but that is pretty much it," I told her as she stared at me.

"I want to be more than your submissive little bitch. I want to do more than cook, clean, and take care of the kids," she said as she stood and started pacing her room.

"Baby, you can be more than my submissive little bitch," I told her using her ridiculous words.

"I'm going to go to college."

"That's fine."

"I may be a teacher."

"You would make a great teacher."

"I'm going to have my own bank account."

"Not happening. Nice try though," I told her trying not to laugh.

"Edward!" she said stomping her foot like a child.

"Don't act like a child with me," I told her as she sat on the bed.

"What am I suppose to do? Sign my check and give it to you?" she asked.

"I will give you money when you need it," I told her. I knew she was getting angry that I wasn't budging on this. "I love you and I know that we are going to have this discussion over and over, but I'm just letting you know that my answers will never change," I told her as she turned her back on me and stared out the window. I wasn't gong to push her to talk to me, I knew she would come around.

"We can still do fun stuff right? Ya know, go out to eat and movies and stuff. We won't just be stuck home all the time?" she asked still not looking at me.

"As long as we have the money I don't see why not," I said as she sighed.

"This going to be a change for me."

"I know, but we will be together and we will have our families."

"I know it's worth it," she said laying down with her back to me. This bothered me.

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you laying at me?"

"I am," she said sounding annoyed.

"Yeah in the same bed, but you aren't cuddling with me," I said playing with her hair. I knew our little disagreement was over when I heard her giggle.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" How could I deny her.

"Of course, I love you," I told her, kissing her pretty lips.

"I love you."

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Thanks Kat for you help with the prof reading. Leave me a review and let me know what you think! The next chapter is done and all that has to be done is Kat's work so it should only be a few days till the next update! Oh and for people that wanted this story long... yeah it could happen


	24. Chapter 25

Thanks for all the reviews you all are great!

I own nothing

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Bpov

I have known all along that Amish women were to be submissive, but I thought that since we weren't within the community, I wouldn't have to be as submissive. Edward had other ideas, obviously. He wanted to start having babies and I still want to have some fun. We were so young, I wasn't ready to be an old boring married couple. I had a feeling that Edward and I would fight over money more than anything. I hated the thought of having to say, "Edward, I need money for gas," or "Edward, I need money for tampons." That truly frustrated me. I knew that he really wanted this and I would do it for him. I saw a change in Edward as soon as we agreed to the conditions.

He always seemed non-Amish to me. I really didn't think he would like me to be submissive, maybe he did. We would soon find out, for I had a plan! I was going to be his submissive little bitch and then I would know if this was how he really wanted me to act. I thought that he liked me for me, I didn't think that he would want to change me. I knew I would have to change some, but not totally.

Things that I were overly excited for were: sleeping in the same bed, waking up together, and I wasn't going to lie, the thought of having sex with him thrilled me. We would be each others one and only! I was grateful for waiting, this was how it was suppose to be. I knew this was something that meant a lot to him and I was glad that he could have this.

When I woke up in the morning, well, afternoon, no one was home. Of course no one answered their cells either. I was more worried that Edward wasn't home. He always woke me up, I wondered what he was up to. I took a shower and I was getting ready to go to Old Navy with or without my mothers. I wondered what they were up to as well. And if they were together, then I would know that they were definitely up to something. By the time I was ready to go my mom and Leah were in the living room waiting for me.

"What are you two up to?" I asked as they both looked at me.

"What are you talking about?" my mother asked, giving Leah a dirty look.

"Neither one of you were here when I got up," I said as they looked at one another.

"I just got here from the hotel," my mom said with a shrug.

"I ran to the office and then took the rest of the day off," Leah said with a smile.

"Do you know where Edward is?"

"He's with your dad, they are doing something manly," Leah said with shoulder shrug and an eye roll. I bet they went fishing or something boring like that.

"Okay are we ready to go?" I asked. "I know what I want so it won't take long," I told them as they smiled. Leah drove and my mother sat in back, I figured that was so they could keep their distance from one another.

"So do you and Edward have any plans for tonight?" my mother asked making small talk.

"No, I haven't seen him," I said with a shrug.

"Well, then what were you talking about last night?" Leah asked.

"About stuff that was going to change once we were married. That reminds me, will you have to still pay child support?"

"Um, I would guess not, but I'm still going to. Just until you turn eighteen," she said.

"Okay then, we have to put Edward's name on the account," I said as I looked out the window. "Can we also get a check book thing from the bank? Ya know to keep the account balanced?"

"I have some extra," Leah said with a smile. "I'm glad to hear you both talking like adults."

"You don't know Edward very well," I said as I leaned back in my seat.

"Did something happen honey?" my mother asked leaning over the front seat.

"Nothing, I knew this could happen, but I thought things would be a little different," I said with a sigh.

"Are you going to tell us?" Leah asked.

"I don't really know how to explain it. Amish women are very submissive. They have no say in really anything, especially when it comes to money. I won't ever know our money matters. When I get a job and get paid all I do is sign it and give it to him. If I need money he will give it to me," I said as they both chuckled at me.

"That's the way Phil and I do it and your father and I did the same when we were together," my mom said. I had never known that.

"It's what your father and I do now. It is much easier to have just one person do it, less confusion," Leah told me as it started to make better sense, maybe I was just over reacting. "Was there other stuff that you were upset about?"

"Yeah, but there is nothing I can do about that," I told them with a shrug.

"Do you want to talk it out?" my mom asked.

"No, there really isn't anything to talk about Edward has already made the decision."

"Okay now I have to know," my mother and Leah said together. I couldn't help laughing.

"It was about the whole children thing," I said leaving it at that.

"What about it?" they asked again at the same time.

"You two are killing me!" I said with a laugh. I think they were more alike than they knew. When I told them everything that was said the night before, they didn't seem too happy.

"This is insane, Bella! You need to talk about it a little more with him," Leah said.

"I agree. Maybe your father will talk to him about it today or some other time," mom said.

"I can handle this," I told them not wanting my father to talk to him. That would be far beyond embarrassing.

When we arrived at the store I went for my dress. It looked like something that would be worn at a beach wedding, but I loved the dress. It was a white, floor length, halter dress. I picked out a size small and turned to my mom and Leah.

"All done!" I said as they stared at me.

"That's it?" Leah asked.

"I told you I knew what I wanted."

"Well, while we are here, let's shop!" my mother said as I started looking other clothes. I did find some jeans that I wanted and I got a couple of skirts, I thought Edward would like that. Now that he was going to be with me I knew that he was going to need some more clothes. I got him some more shirts, jeans and underwear. I thought that he would like that. Both of the mom's refused to let me pay for anything. They said it was the least they could do. We stopped for a late lunch and then headed home. I enjoyed my day with my moms, they never fought once. This was a turning point for the better, I was sure of it. Everything was coming together and I was loving life... for the most part.

* * *

Epov

"Come on kid," I heard Charlie say as he was waking me up.

"Is something wrong?" I asked as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"I talked to Stan, the jeweler, he said that he can have the ring done today, but we have to go now," he said as I was out of the bed.

I was excited to get the ring done for her. I didn't take a shower, I just brushed my teeth and I was ready to go. When we got into the car he handed me the ring set. The ring was perfect on it's own I didn't know what the jeweler would do with it. The ring was white gold with a round diamond in the middle. The ring itself was beautiful. It had a thicker band with a swirl like design. The ring was too beautiful to describe.(pic on profile) When Stan saw the ring he was blown away with it.

"This is a classic, made in the nineteen forty's."

"Yes it was my mother's," Charlie told him.

"And Bella is getting married?" he asked.

"Yup, this is my very soon to be son-in-law Edward," Charlie said patting me on the back.

"Nice to meet you," he said to me, shaking my hand. "What month was Bella born in?"

"September, why?" I asked, not understanding why he would ask such a random question.

"The necklace has sapphires, I can fit them into the ring right here," he said, holding the ring showing that he was going to put the sapphires on each side of the diamond. This ring couldn't get more perfect. "It will cost fifty for the alterations to the ring, twenty for insurance, and ten if you want anything engraved," he told me as I did the quick math in my head. I could deal with eighty dollars.

"That sounds good," I said knowing that Bella was going to love the ring.

"Do you want an engraving?"

"Yes," I said knowing what I wanted to put on the ring.

"K, just write it done here and you can come back in a couple of hours for it." I took the pen and wrote, every day of forever. I remember writing that in on my letters to her. I told her that I would love her for every day of forever, I just hoped that she would remember reading it.

"What size is the ring, is it going to fit her finger? Her hands are small," I said.

"The ring is a size six, that's what Bella wears," Charlie said putting my mind at ease. "Let's go grab some breakfast and then you get to pick out your wedding present," he said as we headed across the street to the diner.

I would have to say that Charlie and I had similar taste in food. We both ordered eggs, bacon, and sausage. The only differences was that I got a biscuit and he ordered toast. I had a feeling that he wanted to talk about something.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" I asked, not wanting to sit in awkward silence.

"My walls are paper thin, and Bella can get loud... she is not having a baby this year," he said.

"We'll see," I said(,) and I was sure I sounded smug.

"You two are children yourselves. Having kids should be on the bottom of your list. When you both move out you are going to have bills and if you only are going with necessities, you are still looking at close to five hundred a month and that doesn't include rent," he said getting frustrated with me, but there was things that not even Bella knew yet. "I will keep paying for the cell phone and I also plan on putting you on my plan as well,"

"Okay, I understand what you are saying, but I need you to hear me out," I said as he nodded his head. "By the end of the summer Bella and I will have a three bedroom house to move into, there will be no payment. I will have to give my father five hundred dollars a year for taxes, but that is it, as far as the house goes. All we will have is electric, even though we will have solar power that will be for back up, so we are looking at the most a fifty dollars a month. Water bills go for three months at a time and what is the highest yours has ever been, if you don't mind me asking," I said as he told me thirty dollars. "As far as a phone, internet and cable, they are not needed. Charlie I will take good care of her. I have been preparing for this, for the last three years, There are some perks that come with being Amish," I told him as he chuckled to himself.

"Wow, well, good," he said as we laughed.

"I love her Charlie."

"Me too kid. No matter what, she will always be my little girl. Don't be so smug with me either, this," he said waving his finger between us, "is going to be happening quite often so get use to it," he said. I swear I heard him call me a little bastard, but I let him have that. I was sure I would be the same way if I had a daughter.

Our breakfast was pretty good. When we were finished, we headed down the street to the bedding store. I thought that was a nice gift, a new bed set that would be just ours. I already loved it. Okay, now I was confused, was Charlie buying us a bed? The store was full of bedroom sets and there were all different kids of mattresses.

"Now, I know this is no house, but the two of you need more than a single bed to sleep in," he said as I smiled at him.

"This is amazing! Thank you, but you know you don't have to," I said.

"Let me do this, no arguments," he said as I nodded my head in understanding.

For the next hour I laid on every mattress that they had. I really wish Bella was here to help me make the decision. I ended up picking out a pillow top mattresses that was heaven to lay on. Bella was going to love it and Charlie said that I made a good choice. The bed was going to be delivered this evening and I couldn't wait to see Bella's face. When everything was said and done with the bed, we went and picked up the ring and it look amazing. I wasn't going to tell Bella about the ring until the next day and give it to her when we were married. When we got home I didn't think that the women were home yet, but when I went upstairs to my room I found that it had been emptied of all my things. That was when I heard music being played softly, coming from Bella's room. When I walked in to her room I saw that she was rearranging her closet.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus Christ, Edward! You scared me," she said holding her chest.

"I'm sorry, but for real, what are you doing?" I asked as I saw that she had clothes all over the room.

"Well, we will be sharing a room starting tomorrow, so I am going through my things to make room for yours," she told me as she went back to her task at hand.

"I don't have that much."

"Um, ya do now," she said as she pointed to four bags full of clothes.

"Bella, we really shouldn't be spending the money we have," I told her. I did feel like a hypocrite, but I really didn't need any more clothes.

"I didn't, my moms went crazy. You should see what they bought for themselves," she said shaking her head.

"That was nice of them. Where are they?"

"I have no clue. They acted weird all day. They were even laughing with one another, it was weird," she said, shaking her head.

"So, you had a good day?"

"Yeah, it was a great day. Where have you been?"

"With your dad."

"I knew that. What did you do?"

"Went out to breakfast, we had a long talk," I said like it was no big deal.

"You have been at breakfast for like five hours? What did you talk about?"

"You will find out later what we were doing. He heard what we talked about last night and he had a few things to say, but I set his mind at ease," I told her. "What can I help with?"

"What are you up to Mr. Cullen?" I was surprised that she didn't question me further about our talk. Maybe our talk last night really sank in.

"None of your business Mrs. Cullen," I said as I walked to her and put my arms around her kissing her neck.

"Fine, you can hang your clothes on hangers," she said pointing to the bed. So, that is what I did like the good to-be husband that I am. With us working together it only took about an hour to get our closet the way we wanted it. I was even proud of Bella for throwing a whole garbage bag of clothes away. When we were done, we laid on the bed and looked at her new gossip magazine.

"Why do you read these?" I asked as I held my half.

"I don't know," she said simply. That was good enough for me. I didn't understand anything that I was reading, but she would make a comment once and a while about something that she read. I didn't really sleep well the night before, so I laid on her chest and fell asleep. Next thing I knew I was waking up because she was getting up.

"I was comfortable," I groaned out.

"Yeah, well, there is someone at the door," as soon as she said that I jumped up and ran downstairs. Just as I had thought it was our new bed.

"Where do you want it?" the deliveryman asked.

"Up the stairs and to the right," I told them as Bella headed downstairs.

"What's this?" she asked getting out of the their way.

"It's your wedding present," I heard Charlie say.

"For real?" she squealed.

"For real," Charlie chuckled out. "You didn't expect me to let you two share a twin bed?" he asked.

"I was just going to put mine and Edward's bed together," she said.

"Wish I would of thought of that," Charlie said as she swatted at him. "Did you eat dinner?"

"No I was waiting for mom and Leah to get here, but they have been gone for a while, and I think they are together," Bella said acting like it was a bad thing.

"Chief, what do you want us to do with the old bed?" the guy said.

"Oh just move it to the bedroom on the left, please," Charlie said. "So what about dinner?"

"We can just eat left overs, there is enough of them," she said as she looked around. "Where has Phil been?" I shrugged my shoulders and Charlie did the same. "What do you guys want? I will heat it up," she said as she went to the fridge and pulled out all of the food. Just as she started to heat the food the men were done moving the bed in and she high tailed it up the stairs.

"She is going to want to make it and everything, so go help her I will heat up dinner," Charlie said as I headed up the stairs. He was right. I found her in the linen closet looking for sheets. She pulled out a plain white sheet and headed back to the room.

"Need some help?" I asked as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Thanks," she said.

"For what?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to say," she said as she kissed me quickly on the lips. "Oh, and I love you!"

"I love you too! Do you like the bed?"

"Yeah, did you lay on it yet? It is amazing!" she said as we started to make the bed up.

"Yes I did, I picked it out," I told her as her smile grew wider. "I can't wait to sleep in it."

"I know, I want to go to bed now!" she said with a giggle. When she was happy with the bed we made our way downstairs and joined Charlie for dinner.

"Thanks dad, I love it so much!" she said giving Charlie a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you staying here tonight, Edward?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I was planning on it," I said confused.

"Well, isn't there some rule about not seeing each other before the wedding?" he asked as Bella started to laugh.

"Dad, that is only for people who are superstitious. I'm not one of those people," Bella said.

"Hey, we're back," I heard Leah say. I noticed that Renee and Phil were with her and they had their bags. Great! I was sleeping on the couch again.

"What's going on?" Charlie asked when they were all seated around the table.

"Oh, they are going to stay here with us," Leah said as if it was no big deal. Not a word was spoken between, Charlie, Bella or myself.

"You're okay with this?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, it was my idea," she said with a shrug as we stared at her. "Bella's getting married, her mother needs to be here."

"Thanks," Bella said, giving Leah a hug. "Edward is not sleeping on the couch! That thing is ancient and uncomfortable."

"I will be fine," I told her. It wasn't a totally lie, I would be fine, I just didn't want to.

"Then I'm not sleeping in my bed either, I will sleep on the floor," she said, crossing her arms.

"No you're not. You will sleep in the bed," I told her. I hated when she acted like a child.

"You both can sleep in there, but you have to leave the door open. You aren't a married couple yet so, neither one of you can anything besides, 'yes we understand'," he said.

"That's not a problem, thank you," I said as Bella had an evil grin on her face.

"Yeah, that's fine, but tomorrow night it will be closed," she said with a wink as her moms busted out laughing.

"Unbelievable," Charlie said, shaking his head.

We all got a good laugh out of that. It was weird to see Renee and Leah getting along so well. I thanked both of them for my clothes as well. The night was going so well that I was hoping that it would be the same tomorrow. My whole mood shifted as soon as the door bell rang.

"I'll get it," Bella said as she left the table. I could tell that she was overly happy, if there is such a thing. "What are you doing here?" I heard her ask and I knew that there was only one person that she would ask that to... Jacob!

I was going to end it there bbuuttt I won't because you all are so great!

Bpov

I couldn't believe that he was here, the nerve of him. He couldn't take a fucking hint! My life was finally coming together and he was not going to ruin it. Edward and I were in a good place and we were staying there. I walked out on my porch to face Jacob and to end this once and for all.

"Jake what part of we are not friends any more do you not understand?" I asked him as he stood in front of me.

"I'm leaving in the morning and heading off for college," he said as I shrugged. "Word around town is that you are getting married tomorrow. Can't say I'm happy about it," he said with an eye roll.

"I don't care if you are happy about it," I told him getting more angry.

"Don't do it, please. I didn't even get a fair chance with you."

"You lost any chance with me when you announced to a room full of boys that I have a delicious pussy," I seethed. "As a matter of fact you never had a chance with me! I was stupid for ever being with you. Jake) you have to stop. This is never going to happen," I said waving my hand in between us.

"Are you saying you made a mistake?"

"Yeah, it was a dick move of me to do what I did to both you an I'm sorry. I would ask you to forgive me, but I pretty sure we are even now," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, it was a dick move, but you told me up front how this was going to work out. I just thought I would be better than him. Just, please, can we be friends?"

"No! You ruined that! You have been horrible to Edward, you embarrassed me beyond belief in front of people that I am going to have to face every day at school! You have been nothing but an asshole! So no, we can not be friends," I said as the front door opened.

"Bella, you've said your peace, go inside," Edward said.

"Don't tell her what to do! Bella why do you let him control you?"

"I don-"

"Bella, I said to go inside," he said interrupting me.

"Come with me, this is over," I told him holding his hand.

"I'll be right in," he told me as I nodded and went back into the house. He said I had to go inside, but he didn't say anything about how far in the house I had to be. I stood in the door way. I saw Jacob smirk, but Edward wasn't paying attention to me so he didn't know that I was standing right behind him.

"You need to leave. Bella has told you how she feels, now get over it and leave!" Edward said trying not to be loud with him.

"You think you know Bella? You think you can control her? I just want to tell you that every time you think she is doing what she is told, she will always find a way around it," Jake said staring at me. I was so pissed that he said that, that I couldn't move from the doorway. "Bella, when you have had enough of being controlled, let me know. This little sham of a marriage will not last, I will be here laughing saying I told you so when it happens," Jake said as I saw red.

"Who do you think you are? I hate you and I never want to speak to you ever again! I love Edward not you and I will never love you! Get the fuck out of here and don't show your face here again," I said as Edward pulled me in the house and shut the door.

"Stay in the house!" he said as he shut the door in my face. Of course I was to heated to listen, I flung the door back open.

"You need to leave! Neither one of us ever want to see you again!" Edward said getting closer to Jake.

"You need to back up," Jake said getting even closer to Edward. "You think you are all big and bad because you won the prize?"

"It was never a contest," Edward said as he backed away from Jake.

"I knew you weren't man enough to fight me," Jake said as Edward stood beside me.

"I'm more of a man for not fighting," Edward said as he gently pushed me in the house and he closed the door.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"Let's finish diner, we can talk later," he told me. I knew he was upset, but Jake was so wrong on so many levels that I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. So much of my plan to be submissive. I thought to myself with a shrug.

When dinner was done I helped clean. I really didn't want to fight with Edward so I was trying to be sneaky and get upstairs while he was watching TV with the boys. I was surprised in my self that I made it without being detected. I changed for bed and laid down to read. It was way too early to go to sleep, but our new bed was to comfortable not to lay in it. I was too riled up to focus on reading so I grabbed my lap top. When I signed on to facebook I saw that Edward had just posted, his words made me smile from ear to ear. 'Marrying the love of my life tomorrow!' it said. I saw that he was still on so I sent him an instant message.

BELLA SWAN: this bed is so big and empty :(

EDWARD CULLEN: why didnt you tell me you were going upstairs

BELLA SWAN: I dont want to fight

EDWARD CULLEN: I dont want to either I dont think we will hear from him anytime soon

BELLA SWAN: agreed! So there will be no fighting tonight? ;)

EDWARD CULLEN: no that is the last thing I want tonight

BELLA SWAN: I love your post im writing one now

EDWARD CULLEN: it should say I am going to be Isabella Marie Cullen tomorrow and Jacob can jump off a cliff

BELLA SWAN: that's not very nice Amish boy but I will if you want me too

EDWARD CULLEN: I love you

BELLA SWAN: y r u still downstairs?

EDWARD CULLEN: good point

Throughout the conversation I was laughing. Edward was just to cute for his own good. I posted a status that said: my life is changing for the better! I am marrying Edward and I couldn't be happier! Just as Edward got into the bedroom my phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Are you pregnant?"

"No Ang," I said with a laugh.

"Why so fast?" she asked sounding concerned.

"For Edward and I to be together this is how it has to be," I told her, not really knowing how to explain it to her.

"So are you becoming Amish?"

"Kind of. I will have to learn German and the Bible word for word, but we will still live here," I told her as I heard her let out a sigh of relief.

"I was so scared that I was never going to see you again," she said as I laughed.

"You will still see me," I told her.

"Well maybe I will see you tomorrow and give you my condolences," she said with a laugh. "I'm kidding, I'm happy for you!" she said sounding more like herself. "So, Jake brought his new girlfriend over for dinner tonight. She seems nice enough, they found an apartment, they are moving in together," she said as my mouth dropped. I knew now that I would never talk to him ever again. How dare he say all that stuff and then I find this out!

"Okay girlie I'm going to go stop by tomorrow and we can hang or something," I tell her. As I hang up the phone I turn to see that Edward is almost to sleep. "Are you that tired?" I asked him as I laid on his chest.

"Not really, but this bed is so comfortable," he said, kissing my head. "So, Jake has a girlfriend?" he asked me as I started to laugh.

"Guess so."

"Just when you think you know someone."

"Oh shut up!" I said with a laugh as we start to make out like the teenagers we are. Tomorrow was going to be the perfect day I could just feel it!

* * *

PLEASE READ!

So yeah the drama with Jake is over! I know I am happy about it! It will probably be a good week before you guys get an update. I am taking my time writing it because I want this to be the best chapter. It may be the last as well, but I'm still not sure what I want to do. I just feel like this part of their story is over, they are getting their happily ever after. If I do continue it will be in a new story because they are not in two different world any more, what do you all think?


	25. Chapter 26

Thanks for all the reviews! Thanks for following me through this story! This is the last chapter so I hope you all enjoy it! Many thanks also to kat! you're the greatest

I own nothing, SM does

* * *

Epov

I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep? Oh yeah, that is because I am getting married! I loved sleeping in the same bed as Bella, we fit together like a puzzle piece. It was only five in the morning and I was wide awake. I heard a car door shut, so I got out of bed and saw Leah and Renee leaving together. What were they up to?

"Edward?" I heard my love say.

"Sorry I woke you. Your mom's are leaving," I told her as she sat up.

"Together?"

"Yeah," I said as I got back into bed. "Go back to sleep it's early," I said as I spooned her.

"I love you," she said with a yawn.

"Love you," I said as she feel back to sleep. I tried to sleep, but it just didn't happen. I heard Renee and Leah when they got home at eight and I wanted to mess with them. Hey, I was in a good mood. Just as I got to the bottom of the stairs the door opened.

"Oh, what are you doing up?" Leah asked looking at Renee.

"I couldn't sleep," I said rocking back on my heels. "You're both up early," I said as they both started to laugh.

"Oh, we went for coffee, ya know to talk," Renee said. She was not a good liar. All I did was hum in response. I almost laughed when they tried to get away from me. I went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water and then went back upstairs. Bella was still sleeping so I played on the computer for a little bit and then took a shower. We were getting married at eleven so I let Bella sleep until nine thirty.

"Bella?" I said as I played with her hair, she didn't move. "Baby" I said a little louder and she mumbled something, but I didn't understand her. "Isabella!" I said in a loud voice and she sat straight up.

"What's wrong?" she said breathlessly.

"Nothing, it's time for you to get up," I said with a smile and she laid back down. "Fine. I guess I will just go marry myself," I said as I heard her laugh into her pillow.

"You will do no such thing," she said with a yawn. "I love this bed," she said as she stretched.

"I know I think that was the best night's sleep I have ever had."

"Did you already shower?"

"Yup, it's all yours," I said as she laid back down. "You can't stay in bed all day," I said as I laid next to her.

"I want to," she said snuggling next to me.

"We can stay in bed for the rest of the day today and then tomorrow if you want," I told her as she hummed in contentment. "But, right now you need to get up," I said as I pulled the covers off of her.

"Come on!" she said, getting mad.

"Don't start! We need to leave in like an hour, so get going," I said as she got out of bed and then glared at me.

"You are so bossy!" I laughed at her and laid back in the bed, hey I was already to go. When I heard the shower turn on I pulled the ring out of my pocket and looked at it. It was hard to believe that I was going to get married. I knew Bella and I would had a long road ahead of us, but I knew we could do it, as long as we were together.

* * *

Bpov

I was getting married today and I was scared. I was sixteen and I was making decisions that a twenty year old made. I didn't feel like I was making a mistake, but then again... I didn't really know how I felt. I loved Edward and I wanted to be with him and this was the only way. I knew I needed to do a lot to get to where I needed to be with the whole Amish thing. I think I was more scared about that than anything. I was just hoping that Edward would just teach me the basics and then not worry about it. I doubted that would happen, but a girl can hope. As soon as I was done with my shower, my moms were in the bathroom doing my hair. I didn't get it, it wasn't like we were having a big wedding or anything. I let them have their fun all they did was blow dry my hair and them curl it. I walked into the bedroom with my towel on and was pissed when I saw that Edward was asleep. He woke me up just so he could go to sleep. I walked to my dresser and turned on the stereo, loud! I saw that he jumped up off the bed and I laughed. I made my way to the closet and found what I needed. By the time that I had come out he had shut it off.

"Oh were you sleeping?" I asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Are you almost ready?"

"Yes, I just need to get my dress on," I told him as I started to dress.

"You're so pretty," he said as I smiled at him. We stared at one another with no words. I think we were both a little nervous. We didn't say anything to one another until we were at the court house and my mom was snapping pictures. I didn't know if Edward was comfortable, but he smiled for every snap shot.

"You look so pretty!" I heard Alice say. I turned and saw that the Cullen's were here.

"Bella!"

"Kate!" I said back to her with just as much enthusiasm. "I've missed you short stuff!" I said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Mother said that you will be my Aunt Bella after today," she said, holding my face in her little hands.

"Yes I will," I said as she squealed. Before I could say anything else Paul ran to me knocking me over. "Hey buddy, miss me?"

"Yeah," he said as we sat on the floor. "You're my Aunt Bwea! Where's Uncle?"

"I'm right here," Edward said from behind me. Both kids just stared at him.

"You look funny and where is your hat?" Kate inquired.

"I don't need it here," he said as they both sat on my lap.

"Kate! Paul! Get off of Bella, you are going to get her dirty!" Rosalie said walking over to where we were sitting.

"It's all good. A little dirt never hurt," I said as the kids started to laugh. "Would you like to meet my family?" I asked the kids as Edward picked up Paul and I held Kate's hand.

"Hey, I want you guys to meet some special people," I said as my moms beamed at me. "This pretty little girl is Kate," I said as Kate held onto my leg.

"Hi sweetie, I'm Leah," she said as Kate hugged me tighter.

"Say hello, Kate," Edward said as she looked to him. He nodded his head in reassurance.

"Nice to meet you," Kate whispered.

"This is my dad Charlie..."

"He's the cop!" Paul said with a smile. "I watch him drive fast!" We all laughed.

"That's me," Charlie said, shaking Paul's hand.

"Rosalie, Emmett, these are my parents. Charlie, Leah, Renee and Phil," I said as they all shook hands. I was so excited to have such a large family, it was a good feeling.

Once again I was impressed with how well behaved the kids were. I hoped our kids were that well behaved. I couldn't believe I was even thinking about having children, this was so not like me. My whole life has changed in a matter of days, that it was insane. It was so overwhelming, but I was going to take it in strides, one day at a time.

* * *

Epov

I loved watching Bella with the kids, she was going to be a great mother and I was hoping that it would be sooner than later. I knew that in the outside world it was frowned a upon to have children at such a young age, but we were half Amish and that was the Amish way.

After everyone was seated the ceremony started. I didn't know what to expect because I have obviously never been to the court house before. The man stood in front of and he read from the bible, to me it sounded funny being spoken in English, but I wouldn't have to get used to it.

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, honor and obey til death do you part?" Bella smiled at me with tears in her eyes, I was hoping they were happy tears.

"I do," she said, squeezing my hands.

"Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take Isabella Marie Swan to be you lawfully wed(d)ed wife to have and to hold, honor and obey til death do you part?"

"I do," I said quickly.

"Can I have the rings please?" the magistrate asked. Bella's face drained of all color and I just smiled and stuck my hand in my pocked pulling out the ring box. Bella's eyes grew wide.

"These rings symbolize the circle of love. When you wear these rings it shows the love you have for one another. It will show the bond of trust you have for each other. Edward, take Isabella's ring, Isabella please take Edward's," he said. I didn't know who had gotten the ring or how it had gotten in the ring box. "Isabella, repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed," he said, and as Bella said the words she pushed the ring on my finger. It was a perfect fit. "Edward, Repeat after me," he said as I did the same as Bella. The ring was beautiful on her finger. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," he said as Bella and I had matching smiles. When my lips touched my wife's, I was in heaven! She was mine as I was her's, could life get any better?

* * *

Bpov

I'm happy to now be Bella Cullen. It was the best feeling in the world. I didn't know that I could feel this way. I never wanted it to end. Our family applauded after our kiss and my mom and Leah both wiped their tears away. What would make this even more perfect was if my mom and Phil would stick around, but I was pretty sure that was to much to ask. I would be okay though, I now had my husband and the loving family that I had always wanted, what more could a girl ask for.

"Meet us at the police station, we have a surprise for you," my mother said as they all left us standing there. What were they up to?

"I'm driving!" Edward said taking me by the hand and heading for the door. By the time were outside every one was gone. When we got into the car, before we pulled away Edward pulled me to him and kissed me. The kiss was so loving that I didn't want it to stop. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine. "I can't wait for tonight," he said as he broke our kiss.

"What's tonight?"

"When we consummate our marriage."

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah."

"I am not have sex in my father's house when he is home! Are you insane?"

"Bella, we are married," he said as I stared at him. He was serious!

"I don't care, I'm not having sex with you with my father down the hall," I said in my final tone.

"We'll see. Why would we have to go to the police station?" he asked me as he started to drive.

"I have no idea. Probably a party or something," I said.

The ride was quiet the rest of the way. I would never feel comfortable having sex in my father's house, I just couldn't do it. Edward was a guy. I knew he has been wanting to and I knew that married couples had sex, but we were living with my father!

* * *

Epov

Bella was crazy if she didn't think that we were not going to be together tonight. I have been waiting for this night for over a year with her and I was taking it. I truly didn't care that we were living with her father, we were married now. He had no say over her, I was her provider now. I knew Bella was freaking herself out over the whole sex thing, but there wasn't really anything for her to worry about. When we pulled into the police station I saw many cars. I was pretty sure that Bella was right, they were throwing us a party. I thought it was pretty cool, I knew we would have fun.

"Come on Mrs. Cullen," I said with a smile as I got out of the car. I walked around to her side of the car just as she opened the door. I saw that she looked upset, so I crouched down beside her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said as she got out of the car.

"Are you that upset about having sex with me?"

"No."

"Is it the whole kid thing?"

"No I'm fine," she said as she walked away from me. I knew something was bothering her, but I wanted to have a fun day so I would wait until later. I jogged to her and took her by the hand.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Well at least she still loved me.

When we walked in everyone was in the conference room. I saw both of our families together, there was nothing like having a huge family. The feeling was nothing I could describe with words. I thanked the lord above for the blessing that he has giving me. I couldn't ask for anything more. Her friends and family were so welcoming as was my family to her. The reception was the coming together of two cultures. Bella made me laugh, she had Ang by the hand having her try church butter which they ate a lot of. I didn't want to leave Bella's side, so stuck close to her. Ang was so happy for us and that meant a lot to the both of us. I had to laugh that she had thought that Bella was pregnant. I couldn't wait for her become pregnant, that will one of the best days of my life.  
We were given four gifts; my parents gave us the deed to our soon to be house which thrilled Bella, our bed from Charlie and Leah, then Renee gave us two gifts. First was that she was going to keep money in our account until Bella was eighteen. I thought that was too much, but she said that was the least that she could do. I had started to see a change in her this past week and I only hoped that it kept up. The last gift was a key for a hotel for the night, I was thrilled. The moment I found out that we were going to have a night all to ourselves I wanted to leave.

"Thank you all so much for everything," I said as I took Bella's hand. Then we all stood there in an awkward silences. I wanted to leave, but I waiting for someone to tell us to.

"We are going to go, the children are getting tired," Emmett said, giving me an all knowing smile. He was a good brother.

"Bye Bewa," Paul said, hugging her leg.

"Bye buddy, I will see you next Sunday," she said, as he jumped up and down in excitement.

"Will you play with us?" Kate asked.

"We will have to see," she said as she kissed them both on the cheek.

"Why don't you kids get going. The party is over anyways, we are just going to clean up," Leah said.

"Do you want my help?" Bella asked as my mouth dropped. What was she doing?

"No sweetie, go enjoy your husband," Renee said. All Bella did was nod her head, she looked terrified. I needed to know what was going through her head or I was going to go crazy. We said good bye to my parents and then headed out. I took Bella by the hand and headed to our car.

"Are you okay?" All she did was nod. I didn't know what to do. "Are you scared?"

"I'm fine," she said as she got into the car. She was not fine, she was making me mad and I refused to fight with her today.

I was going to be the selfish one today. I wanted to have my wife in every way and I was going to get what I wanted. When we arrived at the hotel, we found our room easily and entered to find a duffel bag of clothes. I hadn't even thought of that. I watched as she walked over to the bag and look inside. I saw her pull out her bed shorts and a tank top. I wasn't having that.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I started to kiss her neck and she melted into me. I turned her around, giving her a smile and then covered her mouth with mine. She ran her fingers fingers through my hair and I deepened the kiss. I untied the tie around her neck and let the dress fall to the floor. I broke the kiss and looked at her body, she started to unbutton my shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra and she had on small panties, she was irresistible. I kissed her neck as she pushed my shirt off of my shoulders. My heart was racing knowing what was going to happen, this was really happening. I was good on the foreplay, it was the actual act that was making me nervous.

I ran my thumbs over her nipples and she moaned in my mouth, that was too sexy. I felt her hands on the waist of my pants, as she unhooked my belt and the button to my pants my pants fell to my ankles. The way she ran her finger nails up and down my back and neck gave me cold chills. Our hands never left each others bodies. My hands went from her breasts to her neck down her arms to her butt, they were every where. I put one of my hands on the small of her back and the other swatted the over night bag onto the floor. When she was laid down, I ran my hands down her torso and pulled her panties off, she was beautiful. I rubbed her legs and then my hand went up her smooth thighs, she was always so soft. I ran my fingertip down her center and she was already wet. I loved the way she moaned when I touched her. I kissed her mouth once more before I made my way down. I spread her and then swapped my tongue over her little nub. The way she ohed and awed made me go further. When I put two fingers into her and pumped them in and out, she started to writhe under me. As I brought her to climax she moaned out my name and I licked her once more as her body trembled.

"Please be gentle," she said as I kiss my way up her body.

"Of course, I love you," I told her as I pulled her legs toward me. I could feel my tip at her entrance and I wanted to push in so badly, but I was going to give her a second.

"Maybe we should put a towel underneath me," she said as we kissed one another. I didn't know if she was stalling or really was concerned about bleeding, it probably wasn't a bad idea. I had her all ready for me so I quickly jumped off the bed and made my way to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.

"Lift up," I told her when I made it back to the bed. She pushed her feet to the bed and brought her bottom up, I couldn't help myself, I kissed her vagina. I wanted to pat myself on the back when she giggled. I knew she was nervous about this, we both were. I knew I needed to stay in control or I would lose my nerve.

"I love you," she whispered just as I pushed into her. I didn't think this was going last long. "Just do it quickly," she said with her eye tightly closed.

"Only if you look at me," I told her holding back the urge to push into her. She opened her eyes and all I saw was fear, I felt bad.

"Trust me."

"I do."

"I love you."

"I love you too," she said as I plunged into her. "Wait!" she said as she gripped my arms for dear life.

"It's okay," I said to her as I kiss her neck. All I was feeling was pure joy. It felt amazing to be inside of her. I wanted to pull out just so I could go back in. "It's okay," I said to her again as she took a couple of deep breaths. I knew I had to move or I was going to bust. I pulled back a little and then pushed back in, I moaned she started to cry. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said, I could barely hear her.

"Why are you crying?"

"It hurt, I'm okay now," she said as I searched her eyes to make sure that she was truly okay. When she smiled at me I knew in fact she was okay. I wiped her tears away and then started to move. I couldn't make love to her with tears running down her face. I kept moving, loving the feel of her. Before I knew she was moaning and wanting more. I didn't feel myself cum until it was to late, I was still inside of her. I was so caught up in the moment that I wasn't paying attention. I pulled out of her and laid my head on her chest. We were both sweaty and our chests were heaving.

"That wasn't so bad," she said as I moved off of her and pulled her to me. "I think I need a shower."

"What was wrong earlier?"

"I was scared," she said not looking at me. "It felt weird for my mother to get this room for us, I hate my father knowing what we are doing it is all a little weird," she said with a chuckle.

"I would have to agree with you," I said now understanding her resistances.

"Want to shower with me?" she asked.

"Most definitely." This was the beginning of our life together and I couldn't wait.

* * *

Wow I can't believe this is over! You will all be happy to know that I am doing a squeal! it won't be posted for a few week because I have to get my shit together before I start. Give me thoughts in a review or a pm and let me know what you would all like to see. I think Amish assward is going to come out a bit and spoiled Bella will come out once and a while. Sssooooo anyways please give me your thoughts and put me on author alert so you know when the squeal is up!


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